That's it. You're tired of sneaking around the house to hide the presents, telling your child that No, those aren't squirrels in the attic, it's Santa on the roof!, eating the carrots left out for Rudolph (okay, so maybe you still enjoy those cookies for Santa..) and holding your breath every time your kid uses the internet. It's time to let them know the truth. That Santa is fake. A myth. A story. A fraud. Nothing special. Here's how.
Step 1: Method 1: Straight out
"Listen, Bobby...there's no such thing as Santa Claus. He's not real."
Okay, maybe not the best solution, as it will inevitably end up with crying, shouting, tantrums, a sudden urge for chocolate--er..maybe that's just me. But if it's been long enough, maybe little Bobby will just take it with stride. Reassure Bobby that he is still, in fact, going to receive presents. Once his short attention span takes him back to the television, you are free to sigh with relief.
Step 2: Method 2: The Round-about Way
This is where older siblings come in handy. You just get them to do it! Most likely they won't even need bribing for a chance to break their little brother/sister's dreams. This way, you won't have to break it to poor little Bobby. But sadly, you most likely will have to deal with Bobby's whining and complaining afterwards.
Step 3: Method 3: Use Santa
That's right. Use Santa. And by that, I mean, write a letter. From Santa. Muster up your best Santa handwriting (does that exist?) and write a letter explaining to dear Bobby that Santa has just gotten too old and fat to deliver presents anymore, and therefore he will be sending the presents through his parents. Genius, right? Don't forget to mention in a post-script that its a secret, so don't tell anybody! unless you want Bobby to confuse his classmates. And then you can enjoy angry phone calls from irate parents! Whee!
(Okay, so obviously the letters in the pictures don't say what you should write on them. But look! They're signed by Santa!)