What do you do with it (them)? Well, that's where this instructable comes into play.
Note: Some of the photos depict some pretty graphic turtle-ness. If you are a card-carrying Sierra Club/PETA member, or just don't want to see some turtle guts pictures right now, then don't look at this instructable.
I'm sick of people leaving comments saying that this is mean. Can you please be concerned about something infinitely more important, like the millions of innocent human beings that die each year?
If you eat meat, especially, realize that the meat you eat was once an animal. The difference between it and these turtles is that (except in the case that someone hunted the animal and gave/sold its meat to you) these turtles, while alive, were free to roam around the lake they lived in and wherever else they chose to go. The animals whose meat you buy in the store were probably kept in ridiculously small pens, fed ridiculously low-quality feed, until they were fat enough to kill profitably.
Caution: Obviously, you'll be dealing with a turtle (quite possibly a mean, old snapper), so be careful around its mouth (esp. if a snapper), and watch the claws. Also, be careful, you're using knives. And scissors, and maybe a bone saw. That bit's up to you.
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Signing UpStep 1: Assemble materials and tools.
You'll also need:
1 sharp knife (such as a short (4-6") fillet knife
1 piece of stout wire for each turtle (I used 14 ga electric fence wire (had it around), it worked for a 5 and a 7 lb turtle)
1 pr wire clippers
1 very heavy knife or a hand axe (I would recommend a hand axe)
1 stout stick that can survive the turtle's bite (for snappers)
Helpful:
Gloves (leather work gloves or fishing gloves, for grip and protection)
Pliers
Kitchen shears/heavy-duty scissors
serrated knife/small saw (for cutting through bone/tough shell bits)
Here, I have two turtles, and some of the tools (I took these pictures as I went along, before I knew just what I would/wouldn't need for sure).
A lot of people recommend putting the turtles in a big barrel (55 gal), with clean water, for 7 days. Replace the water ever couple days or so. This is to purify their system (so when you accidentally puncture the bladder/bum pouch, it doesn't stink up the room or risk possibly tainting the meat). This is optional.



































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but as you said, and i agree, there still meant, and therfore i have no problem with you eating them, but did you kill them quickly?
People can develop close relationships with cows just like they can with dogs. Both can be beautiful animals with unique traits (what you might call "personality"). Just because many people never interact with cows that aren't wrapped in plastic at the supermarket does not mean that they aren't real animals.
If you've never seen chickens, it would be easy to assume that they are annoying. All that clucking and crowing. What is a person to do? If you've actually had or tended chickens (at least those of the free range persuasion), you would probably know how amusing they can be to watch. Not to mention how efficiently they can keep down a bug problem around the yard/garden.
Why would people be universally better off eating fish than turtles? If your only reason is that turtles are cute and fish are not, let me be the one to tell you that this is a personal opinion. Many people find fish to be quite adorable, and turtles to be nasty. Put a turtle terrarium in one room, a freshwater aquarium in another. See which stinks first. Turtles won't seem as cute.
If you've never eaten turtle meat, I'm curious to find out why you assume that it would not be as tasty as fish meat.
I made sure to state clearly in the introduction that this was about preparing turtles for eating. If you somehow missed that part, and you didn't understand that the opening picture of turtles+big knives=not a turtle bubble bath, then I probably cannot help you.
I mentioned that different, "typical" American food animals can be cute or friendly. That doesn't mean I wouldn't eat them. I do eat most animals. I've never eaten dog or cat, but that's largely because I've never come across the right restaurant.
And, to answer the question (which you punctuated not as an interrogative statement but as an exclamatory), "HOW DO {I} EAT THOSE TINI {sic} CUTE TURTLES! {sic}
Fried, usually with a knife and fork. Kind of like how I like to eat squirrel.
I try my best to kill humanely and be as fast and efficient as possible so the animal doesn't suffer regardless as to what kind of animal it is. I try to get the hides tanned and use everything, no waste. I feel that anything killed for sport alone is wrong, but if you plan to use all the animal then it's not so bad. What bothers me is when an animal like, say a deer, gets hit and the meat isn't harmed totally and they put the freshly killed animal in the dump when there are so many people around the world hungry - The meat could be used in prisons or jails for one, almost fat free to boot!
As for the people that are vegetarians, my hat's off to you, you don't like something that you have never tasted! That's not the way to make an informed decision, but it's your right. I like fruits and vegetables, fish, poultry, turtles, mammals, nuts and berries, and I plan to continue eating all of it for as long as I can. It was put here to eat or use as a medicine, and I try to use everything as I see fit. If you don't like this instructable because you are a vegetarian, please tell me why you are so interested in looking at it to start with, I don't get it.....
Reptiles, amphibians, cephalopods, and fish also experience very simple emotions. How do we know this? We're at a level of understanding where we can control computers with our brainwaves--determining whether an animal has the right brain parts to enable it to feel or emote is much simpler.
So, for the sake of being humane, treat your fish, frogs, and turtles the same way you would a squirrel or rabbit. Do not go out of your way to frighten, distress, or cause pain to them. Besides, stress chemicals may make the meat less tasty.
i have kept turtles for a few years now, i adore them as pets,
i also kept Pigs, and various birds,
i am writing to say to those taht say this is "cruel" that it is not cruel in any way, it is infact a far more sustainable way to maintain a method of sustainable meat farming, its not like these animals where bought in a pet store.
also it helps to keep the population down, i would rather see three turts on a plate then dead on a road, in an inadequate tank or setup in general.
however, i would like to see how many of those that deem this practise of turtle eating as gross or wrong, have actually seen how pork gets to the home or beef or chicken,
all these animals have wild behaviors that we surpress or just ignore for our benifit,
a pig gets pinnedand tied to the ground while in labour, when she really wants to nest and move.
cattle are kept in herds untill they are funnelled into a run, where they get to line up hear their companions crys of agony and then can only move forward.
and chickens, they are either fed until their legs are useless, or, have their legs broken and sit in a cage being pumped hormones to lay eggs all the time.
how would you feel to give birth all day, everyday, thats what is happening to those poor defencless animals that see nothing but the same field, the same cage, the same steel barn.
now who is being cruel??
Do you mean bleeding the turtle out, then cleaning it the next day? If you're looking at doing that because of time, it would probably be better to leave them in the bathtub full of water or in a trash can with water in it. I would try to avoid leaving the dead turtle with its organs in there for too long, as it could taint the meat (both in flavor and possibly with pathogens).
Good luck, though! They can be "good eatin'!"