Picture of How to: cut up a pineapple!
Pineapple: pokey. mysterious. delicious. And remarkably easy to dismantle once you know how.

I'm going to teach you the ways of picking the right pineapple and cutting it into bite size pieces. :)
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Step 1: How to find the right one.

Picture of How to find the right one.

Step one: Smell.
A pineapple should smell like a pineapple.

Step two: Pull.
The very inner leaves on top should come out easily if you've chosen a ripe one. Grab one and pull. Comes out easy? You're good to go! Doesn't come out at all? Probably not your best bet.

Step three: Firmness.
Make sure the pineapple is firm, not squishy. Squishy means it's overripe or has been manhandled by tons of people that don't know how to figure out if it's ripe and now it's bruised. Not good. :(

Step 2: What you need for the ordeal:

Picture of What you need for the ordeal:
  • a large knife
  • a large cutting board
  • a bowl to deposit cut pineapple in
  • 5 minutes of your time

Step 3: Cut off the top and bottom.

Picture of Cut off the top and bottom.

Not too hard, right? Chop chop!

Step 4: Put the pineapple on one end.

Picture of Put the pineapple on one end.
Work your knife slowly down the pineapple, cutting off the skin in strips, going all the way around.

Don't go too far in! You don't want to cut off too much of the flesh!

Step 5: Check for eyes!

Picture of Check for eyes!
If you see any hard, dark bits on the outside of the pineapple, trim those off with your knife. They are not tasty!

Step 6: Cut your pineapple in half.

Picture of Cut your pineapple in half.

And then into quarters.

Step 7: Stand the quarters on their ends.

Picture of Stand the quarters on their ends.

See that light colored bit? We want to trim that part off. It's pretty woody. :)

Trim all four off and move on!

Step 8: Cut your quarters into eighths!

Picture of Cut your quarters into eighths!

And then cut those into nice bite size pieces.

You have now conquered a pineapple super quick.

Step 9: Enjoy!

Picture of Enjoy!
Store the pineapple in the fridge.

And maybe compost the leftover bits? :D
BtheBike3 years ago
eyes are for the blender =)
Chirpoff4 years ago
I'm just about to start cutting up my very first pineapple! I've cleaned up my counter surface, got out my cutting board, and grabbed the pineapple! I did all the preliminary things you suggested to see if it's a good pineapple, even though I didn't choose this one, it was a gift. Great news, it smells wonderful, the inner leaf came out easily and it's nice and firm! Perfect!
Let the cutting begin!
Thanks for such a helpful 'ible!
...and don't forget to plant the top!
jessyratfink (author)  thatkingcole4 years ago
I totally forgot! Now I want to go buy another one. :D

And in case anyone else is interested: http://www.instructables.com/id/How-to-Grow-Pineapples/
kuato4 years ago
I like to leave the top on until after I cut all the sides off, that way I have a handle for keeping it upright while I cut the sides. It also puts off the sticky fingers for a while longer (I can grab the top, instead of holding the cut sides/top).
lesrebnav4 years ago
Nerdz4 years ago
Heres a suggestion for the left over bits (like the sides): Just take them in your hands and Squeeze very hard over a glass. Repeat with all sides (and Bottom or any extra bits). You get a Fair amount of Juice from the leftovers, then you can compost the left overs.