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OK, guys. Today I'm going to be teaching you how to, uh... cut your own hair. Um... I consider myself a decent self-haircutter. And, uh... Wanna show you my... uh... the reason I need to get my hair cut.  It's gettin' pretty, uh... bushy on top and... pretty long. Check that out. I work in a office environment... uh.... and... so I need to have a more... uh... business-like haircut. So... I'm gonna go ahead and, uh... give one of those today. And... you guys... I'm gonna... give some pointers.... and... um... you guys can decide whether I'm the world's greatest self-haircutter or not. I think I am. You guys be... you guys judge and, uh... decide for me, OK? Here we go...

Step 1:

I like to make, uh... uh... thin on the sides. Um... The-the attachment -- you'll need one of these: a haircutter... or a clipper.  Um... Y'can get it for... ten bucks... fifteen bucks... Walmart or wherever. Um... Comes with these... attachments. Um... They come in different numbers... indicating the depth, or the... um... yeah, I guess it would be the depth. And, uh... they come in one to fourrrrrrrrrr. Um... I like to go with a number two on the sides... and on the back. And then just to, uh... Little bit shorter... Or a little bit longer on top, rarther.  So... I'm gonna go ahead and start cuttin' and you guys can just... uh... watch... and learn.

Step 2:

The hardest part is gettin' the back area. 'Cause you can't see it... it's really hard to make it... even. Um.... I usually just try to look down................................. Aiey.................. Ehueh that....

Step 3:

Try not to get the hair too... too much everywhere. Um... do this side now...

Step 4:

Try to... taper it up in the back as best as possible.

Step 5:

Try to blend it up there a little bit.

Step 6:

Gotta get back here... And it helps to be lookin' in the other mirror at the same time... that's why I'm... kinda focusin' on that right now.

Step 7:

Um.. I think it's okay. I might... switch to a number three now... to even it out with the top part. So, I'm gonna go ahead and put this number... three on here. Clean the... uh... cut head a little bit while I'm doin' that. Snap that on. And then just kinda go over... the higher-up area... kinda fade it... in... pretty good.

Step 8:

Kinda maybe knock a.. a few bit off the front.

Step 9:

Got this 'round here.... 

Step 10:

Doin' that...

Step 11:

Ah... itth comin' out pretty good.... so far. And.. let's see... um.. I need to... take this off -- take the clipper off. And for the side... sideburns here, I'm gonna try to... cut... a straight line. I think that's in fashion at this time... although.. I'm not sure. I think every... a lot of people do different things, but... 

Step 12:

I'm cuttin' around my EAR to give some definition, there. And kinda... tryna shave down my neck a little bit... and... you wanna look in the mirror when you're first lookin' at it to make sure.. you... you try to get it even when you do this. And then go 'round the ears again...

Step 13:

And then get like that 'round your neck. I just put my hand across the back, and try to... get the neck part. Hopefully, it's pretty... pretty, uh... pretty straight. 

Step 14:

Uh.. I need to cut some off the front here. I don't... I don't... I don't really ever work with scissors that much, but... I'm gonna give it a try on this one.

Step 15:

Um... let's try to... do some of that..

Step 16:

Get some of the linked off the front, here...  Ah, there we go. That's comin' out pretty good. Let's see if I can do this in the back, maybe.. uh... maybe cut a little bit here.

Step 17:

And... OK. I think it's pretty close to being done! Um... and... let's see...

Step 18:

Now, I'll let you guys decide. What do you think? Aye kee came out pretty... okay. That's a little... uh.. puffy on top, but... there's still a little bit there. But you can see...

Step 19:

Whoops. Can't see anything that way. I apologise for the... crazy camera angles, but... it's hard to see anything.

Step 20:

...It's hard to see and... manipulate the camera... by usin' the two mirrors. I dink that's right. Should be able to see... I don't know how the back came out.. I can't see it, so... uh... might be helpful to use a camera... or not a camera, but a... a mirror for cutting the back while you're doin' it. Um...

Step 21:

Here's all the hair.. that I cut off... just so I can prove to you that I actually cut my hair off... and this wasn't some sort of a Photoshop TRICK. 

Step 22:

So... Just go ahead and uh... any... questions or comments that you wanna... wanna, uh... leave me.. on my... on the video... on the comments page... uh... feel free to and, uh... just let me know how you... what you think about my, uh... my haircut and whether I'm the world's greatest self-haircutter. Thank you.
He actually says "get some of the LENGTH off the front, here"... but it sounds so much like "linked" that I had to go with that instead.
I'd just like to add that I had a bit of a field day whilst transcribing the embedded video at this point. I was glancing at the above images as I was typing the text -- I literally typed the above section in hysterics.
@EaglesNest Watch the embedded video. You will see why I have included pauses in the text. With that said, I would completely advise you to avoid this method of haircutting -- it's obvious that no blending was done, with little, if any, regard for evenness -- especially as far as the neck hairline is concerned. Blindly placing your hand over the back does NOT ensure accuracy, nor does it ensure success.
It has been said that a person who cuts his own hair has a fool for a hair dresser, :-0 <br>just kidding nice job!
Just a suggestion, it would be easier to read your directions if you removed the ....uh...pauses.

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