Introduction: How to Deal With the Body
This is going to be a quick and dirty little thing about how to deal with the odd (un)expected body that you come across during the course of a day...
Step 1: Get What You Need
For this you need
A Shovel (if you need to know why just walk away now)
A Garbage Bag so that you can move the body without having to touch it (much)
Gloves (again kinda obvious)
A cup and bucket that you will never use again
A bag of garden lime...If you want to have fun; go to your local garden/home improvement store and ask for the lime...If you're lucky a store employee with follow you and try to upsale you on stuff...When I got this bag I had that person...She asked me how much I needed...I said I just needed one bag...She said 'Oh you're just doing a small project'...Me= Yeah, It's only about eight pounds to deal with...Her= Eight pounds???Don't you think a 40 pound bag is a little much for eight pounds of dirt???Me= Oh no...The body is only eight pounds; this should do fine...I was followed by security out of the store(they thought they were being sneaky)
A mortar and pestle for the charcoal
A face mask(not pictured)
Oh yeah...A body
Step 2: Where I Started
I started with digging the hole that will soon be final resting place of our stinky problem...I did this one quick and dirty because I needed to get this thing in the ground fast before the neighbors came around with torches...If you have time then you can dig deeper and in a less traveled space then your own backyard...I used to be a journalist, trust me the backyard is not the place to hide the bodies...
Step 3: Prep the Work Area
You really want to do this before you start to actually play with the body...I got the ladder set up and the garbage bag in the 'general' area of where I thought the thing would land after I got it pulled from the hole in the roof...You also want to have some of your lime in the bucket (now would be a good time to have your gloves on)so that you can prep the body and pour it in the hole where this thing was fermenting...
Step 4: Poke Poke Poke
If you're lucky you won't have to climb anything to get your friend...I was able to get him down with a few pokes from my pokey stick...As soon as he hit the ground I doused him in lime...Trust me it helps with the smell and when you smell this once you will never EVER forget it...
Step 5: Fill That Hole
In this case I didn't get any pictures...sorry...But what I did was quickly climbed my ladder with a bucket full of lime and proceeded to spread it all in hole that was now open...I followed that with a healthy dose of crushed charcoal dust to help with the smell...Tomorrow I'll be plugging that hole (won't that be fun)...
Step 6: Drop It in the Hole
This is the simple part...Drag the little guy over to the hole that you dug in step one...This is where that garbage bag comes in REAL handy if you don't want to touch the stinky little guy...I poured lime in the hole (it was about a foot to a foot and half deep)...Drop your package in the hole...Pour more lime in on top of it and cover with the dirt that you pulled out to make your hole...Really pack it on there...You'd be surprised how squishy it is when you are stomping up and down on the hole to compress the dirt down...
Step 7: A Word on Clothing
Normally you should wear at least long pants, gloves, eye/face protection, face mask, long sleeve shirt, closed toe shoes...In the following pictures I give you three examples of what you can wear...
1. All good except I wasn't wearing a long sleeve shirt ( I had just gotten home and I needed to move quickly)
2. Now this is what I would wear if I wanted to make the neighbors more then a little nervous (which I really like doing)
3. This is the MOO HA HA outfit...But you also have to do the shuffle walk and giggle ALOT!!!
Well that's it...This was/is my first instructalbe I hope you liked it...Until next time and I think I'll do a cooking one...Who wants some cooked possum???
We have a be nice policy.
Please be positive and constructive.