How to defeat a witch

Traditionally, witches' curses tend to cause bad dreams. This is a traditional prevention and cure.

Step 1 Where to find materials

Almost any pebbled beach. Flint pebbles are best.

For this Instructable, I chose Bognor Regis' beach, but any well-pebbled beach you have handy will do.

Comments

[ilpug]

To learn more effective ways of witch-disposal, watch "Monty Python's Quest For The Holy Grail"

[trebuchet03]

Here's another specific method :p "Should you determine the particular witch is of the 'wicked' type, a properly aimed bucket full of water will quickly vaporize said witch."

[phoenix12]

That actualy agood one. lol

[Kelsie Waller]

Yeah right, as IF. LOL thats funny! Throw water on an evilish witch and she'll kill you! Hahahahahahah! So funny!

[Zoat]

I have always preferred using an anti-witch water cannon...it adds a bit more excitement.

[gamerlife]

I happen to be a said "male-witch" and as I do prefer the term wizard, I would be highly upset if you called me a warlock. I also disapprove of this instructable and find it mean.

[and7barton]

I always defeat a witch by using an ancient method, called the "Shout of Force", rather like Tai Chi but with much faster moves. Position yourself around three-quarters of an arm-length away from the witch. Using your best arm, clench your fist solidly, then draw back your arm and uttering your favourite shamanic "Shout of Force", aim and hit said witch between the eyes. The "Shout of Force" should be uttered as loudly as you can muster and is very effective. It's amazing what you can do with the power of the human voice.

[Kelsie Waller]

Hi, i'm a WITCH and why do you need to defeat a witch? If you want her or him to stop then ask nicely. Eeeesh. And if said witch you 'defeated' was cursing you, and you DIDN'T do anything to her or him and if he or she cursed you for no reason, she or he would have gotton what was coming to him/her without you yelling in her/his face.

[gradenko23]

There are very real occasions wherein there is a need to fight metaphysical harm using metaphysical means. Let's not be hypocritical here, if you had the weapons to legally stop someone from hurting you, wouldn't you use it? About Karma and the "Law of 3", is it a belief which you have personally verified to be true? Or was it just an idea just made up by your founder? You wiccans make the question of whether to hurt or not to hurt someone come more from the fear of retribution, rather than tolerance and respect for others, of which you even try to "behoove" by putting a multiplier like the number 3. And how many wiccan publications/books are out there that have teachings to overpower your opponents? I know cuz I used to be a wiccan. The good thing is that THERE ARE weapons to defeat a witch, wiccan or any other. And there is a real need for them because there are certainly bad wiccans that forget your law of 3, however unfounded that belief may be just like there are bad christians. The same way that our society needs guns. How to defeat a witch? there are chillingly effective ways of doing it, I have done it several times.

[Kryptonite]

One that uses the magical arts and a "witch" may be implying different things, granted, Hermione Granger was meant to be a witch but she wasn't meen, the word "witch" implies that of a hag in modern day English.

[Kiteman]

...and the power of human muscles... ;-)

[and7barton]

It demonstrates the real power of physics over silly tosh.

[DucttapeNinja]

No dirty lens. That's a picture of the ghost sent to give you nightmares. XD

[Kiteman]

Haha, as along as it stays on Bognor beach, I'm fine.

[redhotcurvz]

As a practicing WITCH of many years, I find your post rude, distasteful, and some one should put a spell on you and give you Nightmares that you can never protect yourself from! thank goodness I believe in Karma and me doing it to you isn't worth what would come back on me! your a JERK!

[Kelsie Waller]

VEry true. You are a jerk. And if a witch cursing you did it for no reason (starting to think he or she had good reason) then if he/she is wiccan (REAL wiccan, not this messed up version) then she/he would have had three times what he/she did done to her. But your just plain mean. :P Whoever curses you has my thanks. Jerk.

[redhotcurvz]

Thank You very much for understanding why I went off on this jerk to begin with. He is ignorant,rude,discriminatory and offensive to Me as well as My beliefs.At least some people understand but what boggles Me is that this argument has gone on for over a year! Blessed Be and thanks again

[Kiteman]

Exactly what do you find "rude and distasteful"? This post is about a traditional decoration with roots in the belief that witches were real. You claim to be Wiccan, which is not the same at all - hags are "Christian" witches, brides of Satan and active enemies of the Church and Christ. Wiccans are pagans, borrowing their themes from the old Druidic tradition, but leaving out the Circle tradition for "modern" sensibilities.

Nightmares: feel free to try. I here-by absolve you of all Karmic consequence, and give you full permission to try and give me nightmares.

By the way, the concept of Karma is Buddhist, and has no part of Wicca.

Further by the way, you are aware that Wicca is as made-up a religion as Scientology and Jedi, don't you? Do a little research.

[grogle]

what do u call a male witch? a wizard?

[redhotcurvz]

A male Witch is exactly that...A male Witch. A Wizard is mythological and a Warlock is an Oath-Breaker.

[Kiteman]

Sometimes "warlock", sometimes still "witch".

[Kelsie Waller]

Now YOU research. I know alot of male witches, and they would ALL be offended if you called them warlocks.

[Kiteman]

How about if I replaced the w of warlock with a b?

I can't believe so many people are taking this so seriously, and how many people treat a modern re-invention as if it was the original Old Religion...

[phoenix12]

Oh, you mean like how Christianity is a re-invention of Judaism?

[Kiteman]

And how Judaism is a re-hash of Babylonian and Greek myths.

(Actually, no. Not exactly. Druidism was actually extinct, until one man rewrote it and rebranded it as Wikka).

[Kryptonite]

Don't take it seriously, who really knows a bunch of "male witches"?

[Kiteman]

You'd be surprised...

[Kryptonite]

Maybe this should be titled "How to Defeat a Witch's Curse" instead, therefore no one can say that you're being racist to witches or something strange like that.

[JKibs95]

I'm a fan o' the Kiteman, but there are some holes in your argument. 1. Karma, while being a Buddhist thing, does have a part in Wicca. One of the big concepts is that "Whatever you do, good or bad, comes back to you threefold." 2. Wicca is no more made up than Christianity. They are both valid religions. 3. redhotcurvz never claimed to be Wiccan. She says she is a practicing witch... different things.

[Kiteman]

1. OK. 2. True. Wicca is as valid as Christianity. And Jedi. And Scientology. 3. Oops. My bad.

[Kryptonite]

For number two, the only difference is how much they get bagged out by 4chan /b/ thread.

[Angelofgod]

You'll are funny, think you all know! but you'll now nothing, the holy bible said (what is wisdom to man is foolishness to God) a true witch cannot be defeated like that, the only way you can defeated a true witch is with the BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST all witches now that this is true, thats why they know who to mess with. It's written (Thou believes that their is one God thou do'es well the Devils also believed and tremble.)

[Kryptonite]

Well, looks like we're screwed seeing as Jesus' blood isn't flowing any more. If you're an angel of god do you reckon you could get Jesus to donate some blood for our next month's witch hunt? Got one lurking under my house...

[Angelofgod]

Hey Jesus blood is free and is always flowing, becareful what you ask for the blood of Jesus will destroy your witch and your hunt, be very careful.
"kryptonite"

[Kryptonite]

And my hunt? Wow I could almost take that as a threat. Almost.

[Kiteman]

(And I've just checked - you joined just post that?  What a waste of effort!)

[Kryptonite]

Hmm, maybe he joined and saw that, and hasn't posted since, seeing as he's joined the day he posted.

[Kiteman]

Oh, good grief!

This whole thing is just an example of a traditional craft.  Nothing more.

True, spell-casting witches do not exist, any more than your brand of god does.

Utter nonsense.

[Angelofgod]

You can check as much as you want when I "joined", the real fact still remains all I said is the truth and not a waste, whats a waste is that your blind and deaf to the words of God and open to the truth from the son of peridition where fire never quench and the worms never die. 'kiteman"

[Kiteman]

Way to go with the persuasive argument!

You do realise that threats of hell and damnation only work on Believers, don't you?  It's just so much vented CO₂ to an atheist.

If you really want to carry this on, find out how to send a PM, and stop wasting comment space.