Introduction: How to Flirt and Win Him or Her Over

Picture of How to Flirt and Win Him or Her Over

Flirting is making a friendly conversation. People associate flirting as a girl thing, but there are plenty of men who use it as a way to win a girl over. There is no such thing as being overly flirty, it comes naturally to people. There really is no way to teach someone how to flirt, but I can give you some tips on how to flirt and win them over. Flirting can be fun and easy!

Step 1: Look Approachable

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You want to look nice. Not overly dressed, or looking like you just came from a dumpster. Relax, smile, and use your body language. Now, when I say use your body language, do not go huddle in a corner by yourself, so that cute girl/guy will come give you empathy. Instead, give them a nice flashy smile, or if you are braver, a tiny wink. Show them that you are comfortable and confident. Otherwise, you are not going to get anywhere!

Step 2: Read Body Language

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Take a look at them. Are they approachable? Do they seem interested? If they are the one staring shyly at people, or are alone in a corner, then they are not the one to approach. Take it slow, and read them carefully. DO NOT STARE. That is a good way to prove that you probably are a stalker. Just smile with your eyes.

Step 3: Make Eye Contact and Approach

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Take a few glances at the person, and when they look, you look away quickly. Do this a few times, and then lock eyes for a split second. Again, DO NOT STARE. When you are finally ready, simply walk over, and introduce yourself. "Hi, I'm (your name), and you are?", they will say their name politely or in a stand-offish tone. It will be pretty clear that they don't like you if you hear this tone. If you already know this person, then just make small talk. PLEASE DO NOT USE CHEESY PICK UP LINES, THEY NEVER WORK. Well, maybe if that person happens to like it. Gradually share information, and if the small talk goes well, start sharing more personal information. What I mean by this is, where you work, what your hobbies are, etc. NOT where you live, or things like that. Take turns talking, if they mention something about themselves, then tell them something similar to that about you. Give the person your attention. Remember to watch body language! Laugh at their jokes, listen to their stories, and don't get distracted at what is around you. Most people love to talk about themselves. Especially girls.

Step 4: Use More Body Language and Close the Conversation

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While talking, maybe place your hand on their arm, or another CLEAN suggestive move. At least keep it PG on the first converstation. Make comments on how they look. Girls: Play with your hair, cross your legs, and lean a little closer to the other person. Just don't get into their bubble! Guys: Act confident about yourself (even if you have NO muscle), DO NOT go in for a kiss. I mean, come on, you just met her! Use common sense! If you think the person is into you, ask for their phone number, or just simply state that you two should hangout. Just don't be demanding! For most people, this part can be a little risky, because the fear of rejection. If they reject you, just say, thanks though, and maybe we will come across each other again. If they give you the number, don't jump out of your seat and scream! Say thanks, and talk more or excuse yourself. For those who are rejected, there are plenty of fish in the sea!!!

Step 5: TIPS

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Stay positive, and save the negative/sad stuff for a more mature relationship with that person.

When you first start talking to them, do not aim to flirt. Think of just having a convo.

Do not continue to try to make someone not interested in you like you.


Compliments go a long way!

Try to be unique, but not in a way to overly impress someone. If there is such a thing!!!

Flirting is not appropriate everywhere! Such as funerals! Take the movie, John Tucker Must Die for example. When he passes by a teacher in the hall, he winked at her, and she fainted. Of course, because he is a god in that school. Instead of John helping her, he knelt down beside the girl helping her, and flirted with the girl kneeling on the floor. That is a no no!

Make sure the person you are talking to, does not have a spouse or a girlfriend/boyfriend.


Do not talk about your previous relationships. And if you find yourself not interested in the person, just excuse yourself kindly.


Youssef2020 (author)2016-11-12

I am 11 years old and I am new to a school. And alredy there is a girl I love. But the problem is she doesn't know that I love her from all my heart. Everyday when she arrives to school I keep looking at her and I wish she knows that I love her. So what should I do?

ZeryabRana786 (author)2015-12-27

Hello.. I want a girlfriend.. AnyOne Interested..

YazH1 (author)ZeryabRana7862016-08-16

I just signed up for this and Im looking for a boyfriend too are you still on the market? ??

Tacogirl75 (author)2016-07-25

I'm 12 years old and I love my online crush. We are best friends and we have known each other for almost a year now. I really want to tell him I love him, but I don't know if he feels the same way. We are very open with each other and we talk for hours every single day. We laugh a lot and tease each other but not in a mean way. He makes me feel so happy and I don't know what I would do without him, so I always make sure we don't get into big arguments. It would make my heart explode to hear a single "I love you" when I leave at night or just to know he liked me back. The only reason we haven't met yet is because he lives in Arizona and I live in Michigan. Please help me!

bigmomma0 (author)Tacogirl752016-08-10

''I love you'' is a very strong sentence. Start things slow, so you don't scare him away. If he feels the same, he is dying for you to say it, and perhaps he don't have the courage to say it. But don't rush anything! Since you to are only 12 (No offense, im not that much older), you have a lot to come in High School, College and Middle School. So don't plan your life together with him. If its meant to be, everything will sort out.

Best of luck from Norway!

StanR4 (author)2015-12-20

I'm 16 years old I have liked this girl sence she moved to my town tonight I finally opened up how I felt about her what should I do she told me that she didn't know maybe in the future what dose that mean

LaceyFumble (author)2015-12-04

there is this guy who I've liked for like 5 years, but I'm really shy!! It's hard for me to talk to guys I like.. Well I only like one. But for a while now, my sister, who is a year older than me (and the guy), has been flirting with him like crazy and talking to him a lot. She claims its to tease me but I don't believe her. My friend said get to him and talk to him first, but be mature about it. I just get so nervous. He stares at me a lot and I stare back at him, I flirt with him sometimes but it's not hardcore, just a bit of teasing here or there. What should I do?? I need help!!!!

If you could help me out with anything I would be best if you could possibly My email is please help!!

Thanks so much

(We are both 16 btw)

maddie974 (author)2015-07-14

I need help i think he might like me bc i told him that i liked him and he said "ok look i think ur really pretty but ur too young for me" hes 16 and im 13 i need help and i really like him

BellaS6 (author)maddie9742015-08-23

This is what happened to me,Im 13 nd hes 17,he said Im too young...:'( but never said that he wudnt go out bcuz Im not hes tipe!!! So whenever Im around him I try to be nice...nd he is so friendly too,so I think whenever ur around him just keep trying!

AdariaJ (author)BellaS62015-12-03

Well, that's illegal. He could get arrested. Just wait until you're 17/18 to date older guys. They're not even going to think about being with either of you.

Harleyquinn900 (author)BellaS62015-10-18


Harleyquinn900 (author)BellaS62015-10-18

Hey I'm going thru the same thing. I'm 12 and I like this dude that is 15 he just to flirt and stare at me. Then he texted and said he liked other girl. I told him I like him after my soccer game. His sister told me that he told her that he was too big for me that is why.

Creepycheepy (author)BellaS62015-09-09

Beeeeeeellllllaaaa don't go down in a frown

Creepycheepy (author)maddie9742015-09-09

Massive oh sweet maddiw I'm sorry he is to old for u

I can't spell

BellaS6 (author)2015-11-12

Guys these days....ohhh I went out with few of them,lots more liked me,but the guy I wanted the most wont give me some attention,but its mostly cuz Im a 1st yr nd his a 3yr :(

Dizzyy13 (author)2015-07-13

Can someone help me? I like this guy and he knows that I like him, he was being really flirty but then said to my bestie it was all jokes. So basically My bestfriend is like my "messenger" we are really close, and she is with him mostly every lesson, for some reason they are really close she says she doesn't like him but they hug etc all the time. My bestie says that he likes me! I don't know if this is true or not? He always stares at me and maybe he's flirting with my bestie to see my reaction? Please help :/

Creepycheepy (author)Dizzyy132015-09-09

Dizzy u go up to the boy and find him in a dead end so he backs up into the wall and kiss him girl just dooooooo it don't wait

BellaS6 (author)Dizzyy132015-08-23

Yhhh I get ya,u shud txt him,maybe he tells ya something!

cassies2011 (author)2008-04-26

I really like this guy. He's one of my best friends, and I don't know if I should ask him out or not. If he says no it will ruin my friendship with him. Should I take the risk?

Creepycheepy (author)cassies20112015-09-09

Just stuff like that

But I'm just 11 I hope I can help

Creepycheepy (author)cassies20112015-09-09

Us guys like to be called funny or cute just like u girls like to have your crush think your hair smells good or look good

Creepycheepy (author)cassies20112015-09-09

My dear child u must take the chance. Just bring him somewhere private and tell him he looks cute and put your head on his chest then look up den u make the rest up for yourself

icanryme2002 (author)cassies20112008-05-15

Tough call. I asked one of my friends out and it ruined the friendship now she wont even even give me the time of day.

Dude the same thing happened to me and I'm 11she gave me a stair like I'm going to kill u

AW. That SUX, bro

pwnage1337 (author)icanryme20022008-10-27

lol, seems to happen alot these days

BellaS6 (author)cassies20112015-08-23

Lol this is what I did,first I asked him what wud he say if I said I hate him,after he answered that I asked what wud he say if I said I like him

MG11 (author)cassies20112009-02-17

I would take the risk, Im going to ask a girl out soon, and take the risk.

MG11 (author)MG112009-02-17

Oh, and can you help me out with this?

zleebme (author)cassies20112009-02-17

I would say ask him if he want to go to a movie they can be great conversation starters and a good way to make someone feel relaxed go to either a comedy, that will make cry laughing great way to flirt, or a horror, that will make huddle against him and make him feel more like a man getting to protect you. movie definitely the way to go

halse (author)cassies20112008-06-05

Sure. your friends. I asked one of my friends out, we went out for more than 2 years!

Creepycheepy (author)2015-09-09

And don't say be yourself that doesn't help

Creepycheepy (author)2015-09-09

And don't say be yourself that doesn't help

Creepycheepy (author)2015-09-09

I'm 11amd just moved I asked out a girl before and she didn't talk to me ever sense and I found this perfect girl but I don't know if she likes me

BellaS6 (author)2015-08-23

Soo,my cousin hase a bf that used to hate me nd I hated him too,he was so mean! But few months ago I moved to the same estate as him nd my cousin,I started our first conversation by asking him a question,I asked,Who wud u go out with? me or my friend,so he was so shy...he really changed,nd he didnt want to tell me in front of my cousin....,so I gave him my number nd that minutehe txted Hi! lol,so he kept txting lk why do u give such hard questions,nd we tryed to meet up but my cousin ruined it!,So that day,my cousin went fishing nd my friend(that girl) came over,we came back from the mall nd that guy txted I see u!! so I txted come out,he did we went to this place nd started talking about the question,so he said he wud pick my friend cuz he knows me too much(I used to be mean to him too) so yhh my friend was happy,she said hes cute,so we were just talking then he had to go in.....few days past nd we had this family party,nd he nd my two cousins were outside in front of the house,so I came out,nd they started talking about what actually happened! So the guy said he tryed to troll my friend,nd he actually said shes ugly that he wudnt goout with her,but me!!!So from that day on even before when I asked him the question,he was so friendly!!! But I kinda started t like him a bit more! so I asked him does he like me? He said he wants to be friend with me!!! So I just dont get it he always smiles...nd acts cool,try so show off,nd is so different,kinda like he was flirting! So yhhh we hang out sometimes,me the guy(hes 14) (Im 13) (my cousin is 13) nd the cousin he sometime call out with us is12,

Arniewot (author)2015-07-03

Sinlove (author)2015-05-19

Can someone help me I have a guy at work that always looking at me and flirting with me I work with kids and he thew the soft ball at me and smile tell me when his been hurt dose he like me

family gal (author)Sinlove 2015-06-02

He's probably interested in you, but I wouldn't say he likes you he probably likes you as a friend. It's too soon to tell.

family gal (author)2015-06-02

I have a crush and he's very sweet and has an amazing personality, but is sometimes hard to read his body language. Evey time I sit at lunch he stares at me and when I catch him he just smiles. His friends say, "When are you guys gonna be official man." And I am just wondering why he's so shy around me and stares and smiles at me alot. Please help me.

Corinbw (author)2015-03-21

social dances are a great way to make an approach and get know about someone. Not everyone you will dance with will be attracted to you and vise versa, but when there is someone wh is interested in you during a dance you will likely notice, do not pass off a sign of them being interested as just a coincidence, learn the signs and notice them. If they make a sign to you and you are interested in them then make another sign back to them. If someone asks you to dance, then there is a likely chance that they may be interested in you or interested in just being your friend so be courteous. Confidence is key.

Subvert (author)2007-09-02

More tips: -- Confidence, confidence, confidence. Someone could probably write a book on this topic alone when it comes to human interactions. I'll leave it alone for you to think about or research on your own. -- Interact with their friends, male or female. You'll look less like a jerk, and their friends will have a positive vibe when they talk about you later. -- Don't get dejected when your first approach with the person you're interested in doesn't go well. Sometimes it takes time to convince someone you're worth talking to, or even safe. The second part of this tip is that when you feel dejected, you look dejected. This will impact your approaches to both that person, and any future people you try to meet. -- Don't fear the same sex (or rather the sex that you AREN'T attracted to). If you fear or disrespect people, it'll show, and people will decide they don't like you. Include males standing nearby in certain conversations when you're really interested in the female. You'll show that you aren't threatened by them. Maybe you'll make a new acquaintance or friend that you weren't looking for. -- Don't hide your intentions. People can get spooked even if they don't realize it. I guess what I'm looking for with this comment is a way to keep the person you're talking to appropriately calm? Surprise and excitement can be good, but only when you're trying for that intentionally. -- You mentioned not being distracted by what's going on around you... I'd supplement that with the suggestion to be AWARE of what's going on around you. Something might happen nearby that triggers conversation. It also keeps yourself safe, and maybe make the person you're talking to feel protected. -- Practice. You'll get better. -- Be aware that some people are really really good at reading other people. What you feel on the inside may be showing on the outside even if you don't realize it. -- Some people are really really good at hiding or using body language. PAY ATTENTION to that. You'll get better and better at reading people. -- I've got a theory that just being around people (especially the kind of people that you want to be around and like) teaches you things unconsciously that may come out at a later time. So spend time around people you like, or can learn from. I think this is similar to having kids go on play dates, or taking a dog to a park to socialize with the other dogs. (Sorry if any of this comes across as insulting... I'm an animal, and so are you). Fun instructable! I could have used this in my teenage years.

Boom!H3adshot (author)Subvert2013-04-16

Hi you are like the only other person i know besides me that aknowledges that we are animals.

brandie0308 (author)2009-03-13

Awww...this is cute. Good reading material! I usually just get straight to the point though. Example: "Hey, wanna makeout?" It seems to work pretty good most of the time.

ha lol NICE

Bbre09 (author)2009-06-27

kewl i keep a knife close by

Boom!H3adshot (author)Bbre092013-04-16

NICE. >.<

phant0m_sp00f3ra (author)2009-07-14

asperger ain't helping much :S

Aw. That sucks I know how you feel. We Aspergians really get chopped down and stomped on

What should i do if i like a senior and im a freshmenand im not sure if he has a girlfriend or notPlus hes our school mascot and he isn't like a dork he is actully a "bad boy" I have no idea what to do because hes so much older than me and i alwayz see him and i feel like im goin 2 have a heart attack evry time i see him I NEED HELP.

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