How to go to the movies

A step-by-step tutorial on attending cinematic entertainments without causing people near you to want to punch you in the back of the head.

Step 1 Buy some tickets

In order to legally get in to a movie theater or cineplex, you must purchase a ticket. Tickets may be purchased at the box office of the theater to which you are going or they can be purchased online or by calling Moviephone.

If you choose to stand in line to buy tickets, here are a few pointers to assist you in not getting punched in the back of the head.

1. When you are standing in line to buy your tickets, other people are also standing in line. You do not own the line and it is not your living room. Therefore, the savvy moviegoer will keep the conversation in the line strictly rated G. Remember, kids go to movies, too. Nothing says "JACKASS" like being inconsiderate while in line.

2. As you approach the ticket window, it is fantastically helpful to have already decided upon which film you wish to see. Nothing makes people want to punch you in the back of the head more than waiting behind you while you stand at the ticket window with your head tilted back, mouth gaping like a basking shark, staring up at the movie listings, trying to decide between Bevery Hills Chihuahua and Burn After Reading. Fortunately for all of us, the movie times are listed online and in local newspapers everywhere so that you may make your decision in advance of arriving at the theater. If you MUST decide at the theater, please do so BEFORE you get in the ticket line.


3. If you are in a group of people, you need not purchase your tickets individually. Everyone can give their movie ticket money to one person in the group who can then purchase all of the tickets for the group at the same time. This saves us all time and frustration. It is even more efficient to take care of the money changing BEFORE you get in line.

4. It would be nice of you to speak politely to the ticket agent. Oftentimes, a person will walk up to the ticket counter and merely bark out the name of the movie they wish to see. Like this: "Harry Met Sally!" The better way to ask for a ticket is to approach the window (money in hand) and say "May I have one for When Harry Met Sally, please?" No one is required to be polite. In fact, most of us have a right NOT to be polite. But it isn't hard to be courteous and it makes life easier and more enjoyable for everyone!

Comments

[jekan777]

should try

[upriverpaddler]

What is the "proper" thing to do when the movie goes out of focus for more than 45 seconds? I usually scream "FOOOCUUSS!" really loud in hopes that the projectionist will hear.

[mrbiff]

Oooooo! I Hate it when that happens. Unfortunately, the projectionist hardly ever sticks around in the booth once the movie is going. I think they usually go and start other movies. If you happen to be attending the ArcLite (sp?) in Los Angeles (my favorite theater) you can just go over to the little movie attendant guy and tell him something's wrong. But he (or she) always watches the first bit of the movie anyway to make sure all is well. Also unfortunately, I live in the midwest and so the solution to the problem is to actually go outside to the lobby and let a theater employee know there's something wrong. They then radio the projectionist. Lame, I know, but it's the best we can do...

[moagnor]

I work as a cinema projectionist. At our cinema it is the policy to see the first tree minutes of any film, to adjust picture height, volume and focus. We watch it from the auditorium, at the back, we have a panel in a little locker where all the major adjustments can be done. There is also a Stop button to stop the projector and turn up the lights. This is also connected to the automatic fire alarm, so that when a fire alarm goes off the lights comes on and the film will stop. A sharp focus takes less than two seconds to adjust, and must be done for every show, and should be checked by the projectionist a few times during the film. Even though the trailer reels and the movie is in the same format, the focus can be different! Notice this next time you go to the movies. My "dirty trick" is to adjust a little bit out of focus and then back into focus. More effective than fiddling about in and out of focus several times. :P When subtitles are added on foreign films there is always a bit dodgy, because the focus is a little bit off on the subtitles! Most people will prefer a sharp focus on the subtitles, and will not notice that the actual film is a bit off focus when the subtitles are sharp! And I promise you, reading subtitles for 2 hours that are just slightly out of focus, WILL make you a headache :), like reading a book for hours without your proper glasses.

[mrbiff1972]

Wow! I totally want to go to the movies where you work! I just wonder why the things you mentioned don't happen in EVERY cinema! By the way, how does one get a job as a projectionist, anyway? I've always been curious about that, but you never see ads in classifieds looking for projectionists.

[moagnor]

I work in Europe. Most european countries has some kind of license that you take to be a certified projectionist. But my line of employment will never be a high profile 100.000£ a year job, so a lot of cinemas don't care if the projectionist has a license, as long as someone is willing to take the job. I think that some part of the problem is that some of the projectionist have learned the profession themselves, or from another projectionist who learned it by somebody else, and some of theese were college kids. I don't want to say anything wrong about college kids, but they may not be as persistent about their work as people who has a job as a profession. I took a license, which is a selfstudy for about half a year and then a professional comes to your cinema and you get a test and then a license if you pass the test. To get a job at a cinema you must know someone who workes at a cinema, and then ask them a lot. Go to the manager directly. Say that you are willing to work long nights for very little pay... :) Pretend to be a film geek will help. The prototype projectionist as seen in some Hollywood films is just as geeky as we are... :)

[incorrigible packrat]

Perhaps an addition to step 5 could include some advice to the parents/guardians/leash-holders of noisy children. The adults should be reminded that keeping their brats shut up is their responsibility, and failure to do so will earn them a punch in the back of the head. I'm reminded of one time I went to see the third of those crappy Star Wars prequels (Gimme back my twelve-fiddy George Lucas, you ol' hack.). Anyhow, this one couple had like 15 kids in tow (hopefully only a few were their own). These kids are jibbering loudly, throughout the flick, but the adults didn't do diddly to restrain them. At the pivotal moment of the "film" (after Anakin gets all crisped up and the Emperor hauls him off to the prosthetics shop) as the black mask is raised, the loudest and most annoying child pipes up with the observation, "Oh, so he's Darth Vader!" . One can only hope that the child's acquaintances will jeeringly dub him, "Captain Obvious", or some such, as a reward for his boorishness and slow uptake. Dandy Instructable, by the way.

[mrbiff]

Yes. Too many experiences like those are what inspired the instructable! Thanks for the comment and the compliment!

[incorrigible packrat]

You're welcome.

[Lithium Rain]

Very nicely done! 5 stars.

[mrbiff]

THANKS!!

[upriverpaddler]

Steps #1 and #2 are a little less frustrating if you yourself arrive early. I had to scroll down and post that before I read anymore. Right on!