Step 4: Make a workaround
So I decided to set the alarm times once and for all. The first alarm is set for 2 am and the second is set for 1 am. Each alarm time tells me how many more times I need to hit the stupid Alarm Set button the next time I'm trying to catch the train and don't want to think about it.
Note: I could've physically altered the watch, but I didn't want to ruin the look of it and didn't want to risk the integrity of its ability to keep water out.
Fine, Nike, you win, I've learned to accept this horrible button. Next time, please take it out and burn it and put the video on YouTube.