Ever wanted to create the cocktail described as being like having your brain smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick? Well now you can, with How to make a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster!
Serves 10 (One helluva party).
Step 1: You will need...
1 bottle Old Janx Spirit
2 cups seawater from Santraginus V
1 Tray Arcturan Mega-gin Ice Cubes
50 Litres Fallian marsh gas
1 Silver Spoon
100 mL Qualactin Hypermint extract
10 teeth of an Algolian Suntiger
1 Jumbo Cocktail mixer (Acidproof)
10 cocktail glasses
2 Gas masks
2 Safety goggles
Step 2: Make the main body of the PGGB
Pour the Ol' Janx Spirit and the Seawater into the jumbo cocktail mixer. Make sure you are not doing this in a high rise, as if any is spilled, it will burn through solid concrete.
Step 3: Define the Texture
Melt the Ice cubes into the mixture. Make sure they are completely solid until after they have come into contact with the solution.
Bubble the Fallian Marsh Gas through the mixture. Inhale some and give a thought in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia.
Step 4: Refine the taste
Pour the Qualactin Hypermint extract in over the back of the silver spoon. The mixture should emit heavy odours of the dark Qualactin Zones.
Step 5: Create the Heart of the Drink, The Inner Flame
Drop in the suntiger's tooth. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian suns deep into the heart of the drink.
Step 6: Mix the cocktail
It doesn't matter whether you shake or stir. Really, it doesn't. You can't taste the difference. Actually, Afterwards, you cant taste anything at all...
Step 7: Pour the mixture
Prepare the glasses. Don the gas masks and safety goggles. Pour each individual cup with the utmost care.
Step 8: Work on presentation
Sprinkle a small amount of Zamphour in each glass.
Drop an olive in afterwards.
Step 9: Call an ambulance
You will be unable to do so once intoxicated.
Step 10: Drink!
But very very carefully...