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This Instructable covers the essentials of making a bad Instructable. It is complimentary to Eric Wilhelm's How to make a great Instructable, which I recommend you see if you have not already.

"this is my first Instructable, so plz be nice!"

And so we begin...

Step 1: The Prime Directive / General Order #1

The most important thing is to publish your Instructable with the minimum of effort

  • Never forget this.
  • Don't think about anything else.

This Instructable will help you keep to the prime directive.

  • Nobody reads Terms of Service, so you can save save yourself some time instantly by ignoring the full TOS and the Human-readable TOS
  • Your motivation is "to make an Instructable", you don't need any more motivation than this. If you've been motivated by a competition that's just fine, remember that you only have to enter an Instructable to be in with a chance of winning.

Step 2: Subject Matter

Subject matter doesn't matter

  • As long as you're putting some words and pictures in the boxes you're doing OK. You don't need a good idea, just pick anything like "How to take the trash out", "How to open a soda", "How to destroy your homework", "How to eat Cheesy-Poofs" or "How to use a toilet"
  • If you are stuck for ideas remember the prime directive and don't waste time thinking.

You can always copy something.

  • Find another website with cool stuff on it and copy it. Just drag your mouse over the words then CTRL-C it. If you're lucky there will be some pictures to right-click & save as. wikiHow is a great source of Instructables material. Instructables members never go there (because there aren't enough pictures or discussions) so no one will know that you did.
  • Alternatively, you can search for something awesome in Instructables. You can do the same things that have been done before, but you shouldn't copy Instructables totally because people might notice and complain at you.

Step 3: A Few Notes on Language

somepeople say that speillin and grammer is important and they critiscise you if yopu dont.

thez wrong

dont waste time with pressing shif to capitalize and don't waste time with period spell check are just annoing

everybody kno what "u" and "ur" meen

peopl who complain are pedants and teechers

Step 4: Adding Images and Files

Unfortunately you do need to add images. If you don't the Robot will tell you that you need to add them.

Photographs

  • Use a web-cam or anything you've got, but don't spend too much time with your camera. Remember the prime directive, what's the point in wasting time photographing the same thing more than once? You are telling people how to do it after all! As long as you've got a picture upload the image and move on. Anyone who tells you to "use the macro function" or says that your images are out of focus either needs glasses or is just being mean for the sake of it (phooey on them!)
  • If you did take a lot of photographs don't waste time choosing between them, just upload all of them; it's quicker.

Digital Images

  • Save time by copying images that someone else wasted their time on. Go to Google Images and type a word, then press the search button. It will give you ready-made pictures! Don't bother looking at these for too long just grab one, right-click and save as.

Drawings

  • Your easiest way to draw pictures is to use Microsoft's Paint program. It has some really easy to use tools and nice bright colours. And it comes free with Microsoft Windows!

Step 5: Popularizing Your Instructable

Once you've finished adding words and pictures, it is time to think about popularizing it. This means making it look cool and getting great ratings, here are some tips:

  • USE CAPITALS TO EMPHASIZE EXCITING PARTS !Use exclamations! You noticed that I popped a few in earlier didn't you? FOR MAXIMUM IMPACT USE BOTH!!! AND LOTS OF THEM!!!!!!
  • Use exciting words in the title, tags and the main steps. These are all cool words:

Ultimate, awesome, cool, bomb, super, supercharged, exploding, ultra-, uber-, -of death, -of fire

  • Don't forget that you can use CAPITALS and !'s with these cool-words!
  • Please spare a thought for the K'NEX community. You could be forgiven for thinking that they are only interested in K'NEX, but this is far from the truth. Ensure that "K'NEX-ers" don't miss your Instructable by including "KNEX" as one of your tags.
  • If you have any brightly colored, funny or animated images do scatter these around your instructable to enhance the visual impact. And never forget that everyone loves cute fluffy animals, so pictures of cute fluffy animals with funny captions are a guarranted winner.
  • A really simple way to make your Instructable popular is to get other people to rate it. Because some people forget, make sure you remind them as I remind you at the bottom of the last step. And don't be modest, remind people to rate you to the max!
  • For extra publicity post a Forum Topic announcing that you've made the Instructable, but be sure and include a link and remind people again to rate it.

Step 6: The Last Word

Some pedants and nit-pickers will post comments complaining about your instructable. You can easily defend your first one by making it clear that it is like I have in the introduction. If one of these nigglers does insult you just remind them that it's your first Instructable and they will apologize. By the time you've made another one you'll have learned to deal with these dudes.

SO C'MON WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!!!

Hope you enjoyed this Instructable: don't forget to rate it 5 stars!

Live Long and Prosper
Stupid and pointless. Who wants to make a bad instructable on purpose? Also you just made a work of satire and a general parody of "How to Make a Great Instructable" 0.5*
This is just supposed to be funny. Dont take everything so sereously.
other bad things are anything w/ knex or led lights<br />
Nah, wasn't that great.
Please unless it is knex dont add a knex tag >.> 4.5/5
Super! I chuckled the whole way.
This makes me chuckle
Why thankyou. I do like your K'nex Plasma Rifle, excellent work!
Nice avatar, I think that you an I have the coolest ones on this site. Did you make it? I digitally edited mine.
what about mine
It's decent, I prefer pop art style avatars though.
How about mine?
lol
Yes sir, I spent some time touching-up a black and white photograph with Adobe PhotoShop.
Nice, mine is a GIMP edit (it's a free version of photoshop in case you weren't familiar with it). It only took me 2 minutes to make it into simple pop art though, definitely my favorite editing trick.
I have not used GIMP, but I am aware that it is popular. Is that a picture of Ewan McGregor which you have "Warholed"?
Yes, it is, it's from Star Wars Episode III. I just maxed out the contrast and made hue adjustments to get the effect.
Co-incidently, the picture I used is of an actor who played exactly the same character! Although he was a lot older when he did.
Wow, that's Old Ben?, lol, you edited that a lot.
Well actually it's a <em>young</em> Ben (1949)<br/>
Great job. Unfortunately, due to the average (lack of) intelligence of your intended audience, the satire may yield no results other than a chuckle or two. Again, great job. This is the sort of thing I would do if I could come up with ideas like this.
I think you underestimate some of us ;-)
Only a little bit... ;-)
Ah, I believe you do, more than a little bit. . . are you familiar with Henny Youngman ?
The comedian? A bit.
Ah then, the underestimater has overestimated himself ? ;-)
Hmm.... I must contemplate this seemingly paradoxical sentence.
Thankyou for your feedback, I am please you were entertained!
Oh, this is sweet.<br/><br/>Your ladyship, I don't know who you are yet, but I bow to your skillz.<br/><br/><sub>And as for those <em>teechers</em>...</sub><br/>
Thank you sir, I am a great admirer of your work and wit.
I wonder if you'll ever own up to your better-known identity...?<br/><br/><sub><sup>You could always PM me...</sup></sub><br/>
We are both virtual persons, and the monkeys which control us are of little importance. Maybe one day.
We are all virtually persons, some of us dual, some of us more so but in any case, I like Mums the best, and will grow them until I am told I need to no longer...
<sub>Ook...</sub><br/>
what the heck, this is funny... but i wouldnt actually recommend doing it on your ible. Comic relief FTW!
It might be worth the extra ten seconds to think of a pun, but they are always good to intersperse amongst an instructable. Ahem, don't look at mine but I've heard they elicit many random comments and ratings from "Groan...to..LOL."
Thankyou prolific-one. Will you be making some more of your eggcellent creations this Easter?
Life is like a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, you never know what piece you will get. And you, have an air of intrigue about you like Mata Hari. I'm sure your comments and observations will be most welcome in the forums.
Word
Lol and KNEX is one of the keywords. I hate it when an instructable with nothing related comes with a KNEX keyword. Especially one about getting a bad instructables. 5 stars lol
Thank you for your feedback - I had omitted to explain the importance of tagging Instructables with the work "KNEX" but this has now been corrected in step 6. It was my pleasure to view and rate your K'NEX.
yay!
Very realistic, and to the point :-)
Four days late, but sadly, far too realistic!
this is the besstr idea you have all day!!!ii! I do give you a HIGH RATING!$!! SEE CD litecube and rate me gooood!!ii?
Thank you, I have left you a comment on your cube.
Many would do well NOT to heed your advice! ;)
Lol! Grammar fail in the intro picture! Should be you're, not your.
<strong> nothing.</strong><br/>
'cept 5 *

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