How to make a bad Instructable - by The Duchess of Blackpool!

Picture of How to make a bad Instructable - by The Duchess of Blackpool!
This Instructable covers the essentials of making a bad Instructable. It is complimentary to Eric Wilhelm's How to make a great Instructable, which I recommend you see if you have not already.

"this is my first Instructable, so plz be nice!"

And so we begin...
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Step 1: The prime directive / General Order #1

Picture of The prime directive / General Order #1
The most important thing is to publish your Instructable with the minimum of effort

  • Never forget this.
  • Don't think about anything else.

This Instructable will help you keep to the prime directive.

  • Nobody reads Terms of Service, so you can save save yourself some time instantly by ignoring the full TOS and the Human-readable TOS
  • Your motivation is "to make an Instructable", you don't need any more motivation than this. If you've been motivated by a competition that's just fine, remember that you only have to enter an Instructable to be in with a chance of winning.

Step 2: Subject matter

Picture of Subject matter
Subject matter doesn't matter

  • As long as you're putting some words and pictures in the boxes you're doing OK. You don't need a good idea, just pick anything like "How to take the trash out", "How to open a soda", "How to destroy your homework", "How to eat Cheesy-Poofs" or "How to use a toilet"
  • If you are stuck for ideas remember the prime directive and don't waste time thinking.

You can always copy something.

  • Find another website with cool stuff on it and copy it. Just drag your mouse over the words then CTRL-C it. If you're lucky there will be some pictures to right-click & save as. wikiHow is a great source of Instructables material. Instructables members never go there (because there aren't enough pictures or discussions) so no one will know that you did.
  • Alternatively, you can search for something awesome in Instructables. You can do the same things that have been done before, but you shouldn't copy Instructables totally because people might notice and complain at you.

Step 3: A few notes on language

Picture of A few notes on language
somepeople say that speillin and grammer is important and they critiscise you if yopu dont.

thez wrong

dont waste time with pressing shif to capitalize and don't waste time with period spell check are just annoing

everybody kno what "u" and "ur" meen

peopl who complain are pedants and teechers
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brainiac1203 years ago
Stupid and pointless. Who wants to make a bad instructable on purpose? Also you just made a work of satire and a general parody of "How to Make a Great Instructable" 0.5*
OT4 brainiac1203 years ago
This is just supposed to be funny. Dont take everything so sereously.
sarge695 years ago
other bad things are anything w/ knex or led lights
A good name6 years ago
Nah, wasn't that great.
bounty10126 years ago
Please unless it is knex dont add a knex tag >.> 4.5/5
Super! I chuckled the whole way.
DRADIS6 years ago
This makes me chuckle
Why thankyou. I do like your K'nex Plasma Rifle, excellent work!
Nice avatar, I think that you an I have the coolest ones on this site. Did you make it? I digitally edited mine.
what about mine
It's decent, I prefer pop art style avatars though.
How about mine?
dombeef dombeef6 years ago
Yes sir, I spent some time touching-up a black and white photograph with Adobe PhotoShop.
Nice, mine is a GIMP edit (it's a free version of photoshop in case you weren't familiar with it). It only took me 2 minutes to make it into simple pop art though, definitely my favorite editing trick.
I have not used GIMP, but I am aware that it is popular. Is that a picture of Ewan McGregor which you have "Warholed"?
Yes, it is, it's from Star Wars Episode III. I just maxed out the contrast and made hue adjustments to get the effect.
Co-incidently, the picture I used is of an actor who played exactly the same character! Although he was a lot older when he did.
Wow, that's Old Ben?, lol, you edited that a lot.
Well actually it's a young Ben (1949)
Whaleman6 years ago
Great job. Unfortunately, due to the average (lack of) intelligence of your intended audience, the satire may yield no results other than a chuckle or two. Again, great job. This is the sort of thing I would do if I could come up with ideas like this.
I think you underestimate some of us ;-)
Only a little bit... ;-)
Ah, I believe you do, more than a little bit. . . are you familiar with Henny Youngman ?
The comedian? A bit.
Ah then, the underestimater has overestimated himself ? ;-)
Hmm.... I must contemplate this seemingly paradoxical sentence.
Thankyou for your feedback, I am please you were entertained!
Kiteman6 years ago
Oh, this is sweet.

Your ladyship, I don't know who you are yet, but I bow to your skillz.

And as for those teechers...
Thank you sir, I am a great admirer of your work and wit.
I wonder if you'll ever own up to your better-known identity...?

You could always PM me...
We are both virtual persons, and the monkeys which control us are of little importance. Maybe one day.
We are all virtually persons, some of us dual, some of us more so but in any case, I like Mums the best, and will grow them until I am told I need to no longer...
DJ Radio6 years ago
what the heck, this is funny... but i wouldnt actually recommend doing it on your ible. Comic relief FTW!
caitlinsdad6 years ago
It might be worth the extra ten seconds to think of a pun, but they are always good to intersperse amongst an instructable. Ahem, don't look at mine but I've heard they elicit many random comments and ratings from ""
Thankyou prolific-one. Will you be making some more of your eggcellent creations this Easter?
Life is like a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, you never know what piece you will get. And you, have an air of intrigue about you like Mata Hari. I'm sure your comments and observations will be most welcome in the forums.
KentsOkay6 years ago
The Jamalam6 years ago
Lol and KNEX is one of the keywords. I hate it when an instructable with nothing related comes with a KNEX keyword. Especially one about getting a bad instructables. 5 stars lol
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