How to Make an "Artisan" Grilled Cheese Sandwich

Why settle for a pedestrian Grilled Cheese Sandwich, when you can create an "Artisan"  Grilled Cheese instead?  Remember: "Artisan" = "Better"!

Step 1: The Bread

Here, I "partner" with my local Boulanger to discuss the virtues of heritage yeast strains.  He really 'gets' my well-informed suggestions!"


Procure a fresh loaf of Multi-Grain bread from your favorite bakeshop, as long as it is located within a 20-mile radius.You could substitute bread purchased from a grocery store; just don’t try to feed it to me or my children.

Step 2: Slicing

“Perfectly imperfect!”



Slice the bread by hand to the desired thickness, as long as you desire the thickness to be between 70-120 millimeters.Discard any slices that appear to be uniform.

Step 3: Judge the Cheese

"I have selected this washed-rind sheep’s milk cheese; it presented me with an admirable level of indignation.



Judge the cheese.Judgementalism is an extremely important facet of being “Artisan”.Cheeses should be judged on demeanor, self-righteousness, and fortitude.

Step 4: Select the Pan

“This pan has the Brooklyn-chic aesthetic that I am going for here.”


An “Artisan” grilled cheese requires a pan that matches the temperament of the sandwich.

Step 5: Assemble the Sandwich

"Zestilicious!"


Bread, Quince paste, Cheese, Sazon Mas Guapo, Bread.

Step 6: Preparation

“Take great care here.Remember: You can’t spell 'artisanal' without 'anal'.”



“Pan-Crisp” the sandwich in Amish Butter until the cheese is melted and the exterior is golden brown.It is critical that the two sides do not match!

Step 7: Service!

“I am serving my “Artisan” grilled cheese on a “Re-claimed” paper towel roll that is being “Re-purposed” as a plate.  Remember: Simply Re-cycling is for the lazy and uncreative!”



Photo-document for the social media platforms, before serving to your guests.  Elicit approval from peers, being very careful to not appear too impressed, and Enjoy!