How to make fake cat-food

Here is a story:
A chap called Billy spent a night on a sofa. In the morning Billy helped himself to a breakfast of whisky and cat-food. He did declare "''tis the finest gravy you ever did taste." (or very similar)
This story had been around a bit, and exploited for amusement. I thought I could get some more amusement from it...

Eating cat-food "freaks people out", it's a potential party-trick and April-fools' joke, so here's how you can do it.

Step 1: Things you need

Two aluminium tins of cat-food, of the type pictured. Choose whatever flavour you like, but aim to have the filling match the description.
Red-meat and offal, I used steak and kidney.
Gravy, I was lazy and bought a tub from a butcher.
A sharp knife, scissors.
Epoxy glue.
A kitchen, with kitchen-stuff in it.

Comments

[Danny1433]

yay marmite nz rules

[lemonie]

Yes it does, and it's vegetarian.

L

[Danny1433]

are you from nz

[lemonie]

Is there a Yorkshire UK in NZ?

L

_(no)

[Danny1433]

have you been to nz?

[lemonie]

No, but what I've heard all sounds good.

L

[caarntedd]

This is pretty cool. I've done the change the label thing when camping. When it was my turn to cook it was dog food for all. Pretending to try an keep the can concealed makes it more convincing too.

[lemonie]

Oh yes, you sneak it into the pan quickly, but not too sneakily?

L

[caarntedd]

That's the one. Also an actual empty can of dog/cat food with a little residue left in it gets a good reaction when discovered near the food prep area. The residue passes the sniff test quite convincingly.

[heathbar64]

around here the less gourmet cat food comes in tin cans that are exactly the same as tuna and such things come in. I think an easier trick would be to just change the label. or better yet, switch the labels and put the cat food in the cupboard in place of the tuna.

[lemonie]

When the cans are opened the cat-food looks very different to tuna.

L

[heathbar64]

Ah, yes! taking a joke to obsessive perfection is the sign of true genius.

[lemonie]

Stewed-steak, make your self a "finest" "poncy" dog-food label...

L

[KIMBONGCHILL]

I am sorry, but this is ridiculous. Its seems like allot of effort to make someone think you are eating cat food. Also who needs help with a project like this.

[lemonie]

Do a bong and chill... It was funny for us.

L

[KIMBONGCHILL]

I am not trying to be mean this one is just not my cup of tea. I like your other stuff Lemonie. Just not the kind of stuff I get into I guess. I am less of a showman than you. I am really into building stuff. I am sure there are others that cant wait to try it.
good luck. I am sure I will see your projects around.

[lemonie]

The making parts of this are the reason that I published it, I do have other things that I'm working on (slowly)

L

[ilpug]

Lemonie, from your outward online conversation, it is hard to believe you are from another country. You talk like so many of my friends and neighbors from Northern California that occasionally i wonder about your true identity. With all do respect - Ilpug

[lemonie]

I am Yorkshire, but we'll have some common ancestry somewhere I guess...

L

[ilpug]

If i ever visit the UK i will definitely go to that area, it sounds like a place i might like.

[lemonie]

Yes it's "top". stay away from The south, or Scotland*, the happy-point is Holmfirth...

L

*Nothing wrong with Scotland except tourists, it's mainly very beautiful.

[anonymouse197]

** you might want to add mosquitos and weather to your list there, but apart from those niggles it is lovely. Not nearly as nice as Cumbria of course!

[lemonie]

midges, nasty-buggers...

L

[ilpug]

Well, after graduation i may go on a trip, so i will definitely add it to the list of possibilities. Holmfirth looks like it is sort of like the Napa wine areas near where i live, but with less tourists. God, there are too many tourists.,

[lemonie]

[ilpug]

Picture with the trees is near where I live. Picture with the vineyards is Napa.

[lemonie]

Nice!

L

[ilpug]

The trees are nice. The redwoods near my house are the tallest trees in the world. It's where they filmed the ewok village in Star Wars.

[lemonie]

Less wine though, I think this is all of it.

L

[PenfoldPlant]

Yes, there's a reason we call Yorkshire "Britain's California"...

Great party trick, lemonie!

[lemonie]

:)

[DELETED_Robert L]

(removed by author or community request)

[lemonie]

I didn't see that, but if I do I'll look out for it.

L

[Kiteman]

What a warped mind...

_{On a side note, hygiene standards in pet food manufacture are allegedly higher than for human foodstuffs, so, taste aside, tinned petfood is safer to eat than "proper" tinned foods.}

[PenfoldPlant]

I once hitchhiked across France with a British woman who worked in the dog food manufacturing industry; she was quite keen to talk about just this subject. She said that all British pet foods have to be safe for human consumption, as so many less fortunate people use them as an affordable source of meat.

[splazem]

+1 :)

[lemonie]

Yep, but you can use your side-note to help warp other people's minds into being convinced it is petfood that you're eating.

L

[sunshiine]

I have noticed your post for a while and kept meaning to get over and see it. It looks great and terrible at the same time. Does that make any sense? I am sharing this with my grandson. He will love it! Oh yeah my son-in-law would do this. We have a long line of pranksters here. Nice touch by the way!

[lemonie]

Thicken the gravy with corn-flour and make it look "goopy", it worked great and I will do it again.

L

[sunshiine]

So this is your secret ingredient to your private label? I will remember! Thanks Lemonie for sharing.