Here is a story:
A chap called Billy spent a night on a sofa. In the morning Billy helped himself to a breakfast of whisky and cat-food. He did declare "''tis the finest gravy you ever did taste." (or very similar)
This story had been around a bit, and exploited for amusement. I thought I could get some more amusement from it...
Eating cat-food "freaks people out", it's a potential party-trick and April-fools' joke, so here's how you can do it.
Step 1: Things you need
Two aluminium tins of cat-food, of the type pictured. Choose whatever flavour you like, but aim to have the filling match the description.
Red-meat and offal, I used steak and kidney.
Gravy, I was lazy and bought a tub from a butcher.
A sharp knife, scissors.
A kitchen, with kitchen-stuff in it.
Step 2: The meat
I got a little portion of steak and kidney, about half a pound.
To make it look like horrible processed brown meatyness it needed to be pulped to mush and cooked. I chopped steak and kidney finely and tried bashing it with a pestle, but used a hand blender in the end.
*Use a blender*
For flavour, I added a little salt and pepper, and half a teaspoon of Marmite.
If you're recreating two-tone cat-food, make two mushes with different proportions & flavourings.
The mush was poached gently in a lightly-oiled ramekin to a rather nasty-looking brown lump. This was easily cut into horrible-looking chunks with a sharp knife. The chunks taste nice though - remember this: they look nasty but taste nice.
To finish off the lumps were re-heated in rich brown gravy, yum yum...