Introduction: How to Make Manly Wine Glass Jewelry.

Picture of How to Make Manly Wine Glass Jewelry.

So after your 2nd glass of wine, you're wondering whether you have the glass with the colander or the strainer jewelry OR the frying pan or the skillet jewelry.  I never remember that stuff.

My solution is the following, inexpensive, dirt-simple solution.  Wrap a plastic cable tie around the stem.  

And one of the reasons for having distinctive wine glass jewelry is to avoid getting cooties.   

dorybob's "LAW OF COOTIES" is that you get cooties from secondary contact, not primary contact.  Hence, it follows from the LAW that you get cooties from double dipping an appetizer (refer "The Implant" Sienfeld episode) or from sharing a spoon but not from French kissing.  For you Francophobes, that would be Freedom kissing.

Or secondary contact from sharing a wine glass.  It is known that Modern Women are notorious for taking the full glass of wine and creating the dreaded secondary contact.

This manly wine glass jewelry protects against cooties from Modern Women by 2 methods:
1.  Visual
2.  Tactile

For visual protection, if a Modern Women sees the cable tie, she thinks it is ugly and will not touch the glass.  Yes, it is butt ugly.  Hence, no cooties.  For tactile protection, if a Modern Woman is not paying close attention and just grabs the full glass of wine, the jewelry is pointy and uncomfortable.  Again, no cooties.   Ugly......Uncomfortable.......Brilliant!

With the ideas expressed above, out loud, and to Modern Women, you can imagine how much Freedom kissing that ole dorybob gets to do.

You can use this idea and not mention the whole cootie thing.  It'll be our little secret.

Step 2 will show what materials are needed for a formal event.








Step 1: Tool and Materials

Picture of Tool and Materials

You will need:

1.  wine glass
2.  cable tie
2.  wire cutter (or a sturdy pair of scissors)

I wrap the cable tie around the stem twice, pull it snug, and cut the excess tail.

If your ADD is kicking in hard and you need to nervously spin the jewelry, you can leave the cable tie looser.

Congratulations!  You did it.

Step 2: Formal Manly Glass Jewelry

Picture of Formal Manly Glass Jewelry

With a black cable tie, you now have manly wine glass jewelry for a formal event.

Have fun.  Be safe as you can.
dorybob


Comments

bginlalaland (author)2014-08-06

Hilarious dorybob. Ya gotta send some writting samples to SNL.

dorybob (author)bginlalaland2014-08-21

Thank you for the compliment. I attempt humor often and, sometimes, it is even funny.

dorybob (author)2013-03-15

Thanks for the encouragement.

sunshiine (author)2013-03-14

I enjoyed reading the write up! A clever idea! thanks for sharing and do have a splendorous d@y!
sunshiine

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