# How to make some simple things impossibly thick

Hello everyone,

This is my first instructable. I hope it will be helpful to some and clear enough to understand.

This is a machine I made that makes things impossibly thick. The steps that follow are not perfect, there are variables. These variables should become obvious.

There is a minimum of 10 steps with a few subsidiary steps to follow.
Remove these ads by Signing Up

## Step 1: November 28, 1980: Conception

November 28, 1980. I was born in Barrie Ontario, Canada at the Royal Victoria Hospital. A 10 story hospital filled with many bodies, machines and countless fluids. I am told that the number of sperm present in a man can vary greatly depending on numerous factors (such as general health, time of the month, the presence of toxins). The body produces new sperm all the time as they are expelled during ejaculation, but they also have a very short life span. There is one egg though countless, unimaginable numbers of sperm, and each one carries a slightly different DNA. The chances that any one sperm will fertilize an egg is very very low.

Conception is miraculous.

## Step 2: Montreal

My work room at home, in Montreal, a city of 1.6 million people (as of 2006, but this is just a statistic and we know that statistics are only skeletons of reality). Here is where I sometimes make things. I move about and touch and smell things. Glue them together, rummage, sometimes drill things and my phone is there, too. Yesterday, as I was working on this machine my friend called. We talked for a while about interesting things. 25 minutes passed and I was 25 minutes longer in finishing the thickening machine.
cglaw2013 says: 2 months ago
excellent one
wagon173 says: 1 year ago
Lol I was browsing for new ideas in shop techniques specifically aluminum for a submarine that I'm building (There'll be an instructable sometime int the coming months) It was a welcome break in research though! I'll definitely think twice the next time I look at a pop can or a pickle jar!
Dr.Earl Insanity says: 3 years ago
lol i love it!!!! yes it fundamentally lacks logic, but who needs logic any way!? KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
gggonzalez says: 3 years ago
How fitting that I stumble across this on April 1st.  Kudos!
You are a fantastic writer.
Johnny_dreamer says: 3 years ago
Vonnegut-esque...
moqca says: 4 years ago
Genious, simply genious
BlessedWrath says: 4 years ago
I do not understand, and I'm content with that.

RattDaPained says: 4 years ago
If People Would Pay Attention This Was A Great Instructable. It Taught You How To Make A Simple Explanation Of How To Make A Simple Pice Of Art  Complicated And Seemingly Irrelavent Aka Thick. Most Tell About Themselves And What They Made In Step 1. In Step 2 Most Will Tell About The Tools They Had To Work With Or Where They Made What They Did. Steps 3-x (X Being Step 6 In This One.) Show How To Use More Comon Materials. The Next Few Steps (7 In This Case) Shows Something To Think About Such As Safty. After Those Explinations The Last Of The Matirials That Is Needed Is Something Uncommon And That Is Explained. (Step 8). The Last Step Will Tell How Every Thing Works Together (Step 9 For The Art Project, Step 10 For The Thickening One). Open Mindedness Helps Too.
emerson.john says: 4 years ago
Although bizarre, this makes more sense than doing a lot of the things people attempt with an Altoids box.
WhoTookMudshark says: 4 years ago
I just read this again a year-and-a-half later and it is still my favorite. Are you an artist elsewhere adamsix, or just on instructables?
mikeasaurus says: 6 years ago
1 - This isn't an instructable. 2 - Your machine looks broken, or incomplete. 3 - No one cares that you were born in the armpit of Canada. 4 - This isn't a forum for introspective storytelling.
iLikeCoolStuf in reply to mikeasaurus4 years ago
lol
TheShawMaestro in reply to mikeasaurus4 years ago
The whole point is that he bulked it up with items of no relvance at all. And remember the "Be Nice" policy?
mikeasaurus in reply to TheShawMaestro4 years ago
ShawMaestro 1- My comment was written over a year ago, get on the ball. 2- Bulked up storytelling is still not an instructable. 3- There is nothing unkind about what I wrote, so the 'be nice' policy doesn't apply.
bobt4 in reply to mikeasaurus4 years ago
u must have some problems with puting evrything in lists....-.-
dombeef in reply to bobt43 years ago
Yeah even though he said it was one year ago and I thought that he would change!
bobt4 in reply to dombeef2 years ago
LOL 1 year and 13 days late mister.
dombeef in reply to bobt42 years ago
LOL 16 minutes later mister
bobt4 in reply to dombeef2 years ago
Wow I almost posted 24 hours later
bobt4 in reply to dombeef2 years ago
Dude,are you a wizard? :O
dombeef in reply to bobt42 years ago
I dont get that? Is it a meme or something?
bobt4 in reply to dombeef2 years ago
No I'm just amazed :O
dombeef in reply to bobt42 years ago
yeah, but that says meme generator in the bottom right, I dont get that meme
bobt4 in reply to dombeef2 years ago
It's for situations when people are amazed.
dombeef in reply to bobt42 years ago
Ah, ok
rc jedi in reply to mikeasaurus6 years ago
hee hee, you tell 'em!
incorrigible packrat in reply to mikeasaurus6 years ago
Better than being born in Owen Sound, the bumhole of the elephant. (Take a map of Southern Ontario. Turn it sideways so that West is North, and the whole thing looks pachydermish. Note position of Owen Sound.) As to the "instructable" I dunno, it's pretty messed up, but kind of entertaining.
(removed by author or community request)
Can't find my camera. Google map it, then turn monitor sideways.
jongscx says: 4 years ago
Isn't Step 5 just a picture of Florida? I'm confused...
CybergothiChe in reply to jongscx4 years ago
no, it is ice, surrounding a body of water (who can spell resovwar anyway?)
bowlerhatman says: 4 years ago
Dude... I LOVE IT. This is really cool. I love how you've used almost a stream of consciousness idea, it's more like word association football, but it's still similar. Disregard the fool who criticise it, they recognise not the value of your ideas.
chriskarr says: 4 years ago
On step five - "When electricity was demonstrated at the Chicago World's fair people thought it was a miracle." And it wouldn't have been such a miracle if it weren't for Nikola Tesla and his pioneering AC distribution system.
duckythescientist in reply to chriskarr4 years ago
WOOHOO!!!! GO TESLA!!
chicKintAco says: 5 years ago
hcold says: 5 years ago
Love this Instructable! Also, the worrying about the lack of discipline sounds worryingly (for lack of a better word) familiar.
hcold in reply to hcold5 years ago
Seconds thoughts - this Instructable and its reactions strongly remind me of The Catcher In The Rye, and the boy who had to stay on topic and when he got off topic, the class would yell "Digression!" shattering his confidence. Nice.
WhoTookMudshark says: 5 years ago
This reads like a Fiery Furnaces album and I love it with all of my heart. I don't know how to vote on this website but I am about to figure it out and give you the best vote imaginable.
codongolev in reply to WhoTookMudshark5 years ago
look at the right.
xxmixkexx says: 5 years ago
haha get it... it was a joke!!! if you made it and followed it you were thick!!! jeeze
larrylemon says: 5 years ago
Psychological help is available. See www.psychologicalselfhelp.org Although it is funny.
boatgoball says: 5 years ago
So you have managed to shine a light on a plastic chair in a pickle jar well done
John Smith says: 6 years ago
Oh god, is this that "art" crap? Come on, get a life. I've been too busy with my life to understand pointless stuff, sorry.
binary.ronin in reply to John Smith6 years ago
but not too busy to post a pointless comment, eh?
skok in reply to binary.ronin5 years ago
So. . . what's your point? BTW, thith maketh me thick. . .
John Smith in reply to binary.ronin6 years ago
I don't think my comment was pointless. I'm just saying that this website is for instructions, not THIS stuff. I wanted to see something cool, but what I got was a letdown.
binary.ronin in reply to John Smith6 years ago
Please don't get me wrong, I too was letdown by this "instructable". I was refering more to your statement regarding "that 'art' crap." As I am an artist (electronic media) myself, I really don't understand the ignorance inherent in a statement such as "that 'art' crap.". Besides, you can't ignore the fact that several other 'ibles' are really pointless themselves, I'm thinking of all the "how to download free music" or the dozens of copycats who simply replicate someone else's work without demonstrating an improvement. I also think that if you find something mildly offensive like this, then why would you waste your time posting a non-constructive critical comment? especially when your life is so "busy".
John Smith in reply to binary.ronin6 years ago
I don't know. Let's let this drop.
evilgamer63 says: 6 years ago
wow thats something, um if i were you i would put the bong down
John Smith in reply to evilgamer636 years ago
Hahahaha, I agree.
John Smith says: 6 years ago
FYI, this is "instructables", and here we post instructions on how to do stuff. Not this.
Kiteman says: 6 years ago
I can't decide - is this art, poetry or an Instructable for making a lamp? Whatever it is, I like it.
k-twizel says: 6 years ago
got it... nope lost it again... *sigh*
Patrik says: 6 years ago
Wow - loved it. Thanks! Somewhat reminiscent of The World According to Garp.

(No you cretins, this is not your ordinary instructable. Nor is meant to be. Think poetry...)
Lftndbt in reply to Patrik6 years ago
Quote:~ No you cretins
That's great!!

Quote:~ Think poetry
They still won't get it.....
;)
lil_timmy1990 says: 6 years ago
(removed by author or community request)
Lftndbt in reply to lil_timmy19906 years ago
ROFL! This ible has some FANTASTIC responces.... I have tears in my eye's over some of these.... LoL!
punkrunner204 says: 6 years ago
look deeper, you fools.
Lftndbt in reply to punkrunner2046 years ago
LoL.... That's top's!
Lftndbt says: 6 years ago
Nice play on words to get interest, yet I think the effort was slightly wasted on most (some of us got it/liked it ;) ). As you will notice, most ible's like this don't get a too positive responce... It was nice to let me head wander from instructional ible's for a moment... thanks.. And to all those that are still ??? , I guess it has proved alil' thick of a situation to work out...
shooby says: 6 years ago
Yeah, worst Inst. I've ever seen. Doesn't say what you're making, all it is is a little couch in a jar. Please explain what the hell this is!
Lftndbt in reply to shooby6 years ago
LoL... I REALLY think you have missed the point of this... Along with most other's...
saites2001 says: 6 years ago
Just because it's "interesting" or "deep" does not mean it belongs here.
kapugen says: 6 years ago
so the machine puts things "in the clustering thick of things, rapt and enwrapped in the rising and falling real world"
SGutshall says: 6 years ago
I like it.
!Andrew_Modder! says: 6 years ago
i dont get it..?
but lol **"chemical compounds and a German immigrant named Ohm persuaded by the American dream."** about that, i know Ohm's great, great, ect, grand-daughter, and she is HOT as hell :-P .. ;-D woot woot.

but honestly i dont get your instructable :-(..
trebory6 says: 6 years ago
I dont get it. What is this instructing me to do?
I didnt learn how to make things thick at all.

I know this is your first instructable adammsix, but I really dont know what its "Instructing" us to do. =\
GorillazMiko says: 6 years ago
is this a story or something? because i wanted to make a penny really thick.
Patrik in reply to GorillazMiko6 years ago
xtank5 says: 6 years ago
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! I don't get it. :(
Erik Lindemann says: 6 years ago
I have to agree with pyro. Is this a riddle of sorts? Does this life story end up leading into this thickening machine or what? I'm sorry but I just don't understand this. Maybe I'm thick.
pyro13 says: 6 years ago
what the heck?! I don't get it....
rickharris in reply to pyro136 years ago
Me neither and I bothered to read it all!. As a passing issue Plexi glass is a trade name for acrylic and is man made for chemicals originating in oil rather than a natural material.