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Step 6Cheating.
As with any game with a long tradition, conkers has an almost-equally-long tradition of cheating.
Officially, anybody caught cheating is frowned upon, even shunned, but a successful cheat is almost as lauded as a successful player.
Cheats include; using last year's conker (a laggie), brief baking, time on a hot radiator, pickling, soaking and drying and coating with varnish (fresh conkers are shiny, and kept so by constant polishing in small boys' pockets during lessons).
In my day, rumours abounded of conkers made utterly indestructable by injecting some sort of glue into the conker, to fill the space between skin and flesh with a stone-hard inner armour. No such conker was ever found, but the rumours returned every year.
Fears of cheating have meant that official championships usually ban players from bringing their own conkers, which upsets traditionalists.
Officially, anybody caught cheating is frowned upon, even shunned, but a successful cheat is almost as lauded as a successful player.
Cheats include; using last year's conker (a laggie), brief baking, time on a hot radiator, pickling, soaking and drying and coating with varnish (fresh conkers are shiny, and kept so by constant polishing in small boys' pockets during lessons).
In my day, rumours abounded of conkers made utterly indestructable by injecting some sort of glue into the conker, to fill the space between skin and flesh with a stone-hard inner armour. No such conker was ever found, but the rumours returned every year.
Fears of cheating have meant that official championships usually ban players from bringing their own conkers, which upsets traditionalists.
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