Introduction: How to Potentially Harm Yourself and Others With an Egg

Picture of How to Potentially Harm Yourself and Others With an Egg

Let me start off by saying that there is absolutely no reason that this object I'm about to show you should exist on this planet. It was created solely for my own sick pleasure, and of course to win this contest.

Right then, off we go. Gather round to begin this magical journey...

Step 1: Materials

Picture of Materials

We start with an egg. Go get one out of your fridge. Next grab a thumbtack. Poke one hole in each end of the egg. Now blow in one hole. Yup that's right. Just do it. Hard. Now watch the egg goo come out the other end. Don't blow too hard, or else you'll crack the egg. Just go with it, it usually takes a while.

Eventually you'll get an empty egg. Now we may begin. Get some thumbtacks. Lots of them. Go to Staples or something.

Now heat up your hot glue gun. Get some glue. Lots of sticks. Lots. Seriously.

Good, now comes the tedious part.

Step 2: Begin the Transformation

Picture of Begin the Transformation

Glue one tack pointy-end out on the end of the egg, right over the blow-hole. (you thought of a whale too, right?) Now surround that thumbtack in approximately six others. Like some sort of messed up flower.

Give it bigger petals, and keep expanding the rings of tacks.

You'll probably hurt yourself. It's ok, just tell yourself that you're a man and you can take it. If you're a woman, this probably isn't for you. Go submit a sewing Instructible in the Craft skills contest. Just kidding. But seriously.

Eventually you'll cover the egg. You have now created something that serves no real purpose. It's freaking cool though. Just don't throw it at your buddies. They'll hurt you, even if their left eyebrow is gushing blood. Try pretending you're the Spartans in the final fight with Xerxes. Where is your god now? Ten-thousand internets if somebody actually makes a Xerxes egg.

Keep it away from pets. Also small children. Don't leave it where people can step on it, or where villains can use it for world domination.

Good luck, and try not to kill yourselves.

Comments

zack195610 (author)2015-06-30

Xerxes egg? What's that?

Nolothenarwhal (author)2013-10-10

Satan better gtfo my fridge, like NOW.

Discord (author)2013-08-16

I can imagine an ostrich egg covered with them...or filled with them.

phillyrocks (author)2010-11-16

So this is pretty much an egg grenade minus the explosive?

Plo Koon (author)phillyrocks2012-11-27

what if u filled it w/ gunpowder with a fuse sticking out one of the holes? (dont try that)

nfk11 (author)Plo Koon2013-01-08

thanks for the suggestion. i would rather try and put nitric acid and carbon monoxide in it just to see what happens (if it doesn't explode first)

Plo Koon (author)nfk112013-01-24

ooh wat about vinagar and bakin soda

nfk11 (author)Plo Koon2013-01-26

or that stuff you use in napalm xD you could melt your foes.

Plo Koon (author)nfk112013-01-29

turn it into a nest of hornets

nfk11 (author)Plo Koon2013-01-31

put uranium in it :|

Discord (author)nfk112013-08-16

Put a mixture of 1 part oil and 1 part gasoline inside of it, glue a shoelace fuse (baked-in potassium nitrate and sugar) into the hole. Then when you light/throw it, it sticks onto your target and *pop* goes the Molotov. Seriously folks, don't try this at home.

Plo Koon (author)phillyrocks2013-01-24

yeah and if u keep the pokey things on its like a frag grenade

Discord (author)2013-01-02

Easter Bunny has a little suppressed anger, hmm?

dr. richtofen (author)Discord2013-01-04

Discord, what are you doing here? Are you planning something to take over Ponyville once again?

Discord (author)dr. richtofen2013-03-26

Friendship is magic, as I had stated before! I am done with petty mischief.

dr. richtofen (author)Discord2013-03-27

Oh yeah, that's true.

Cobalt59 (author)2011-02-12

Should've kept the yolk in it. It would of sprayed everywhere when it hit something.

Plo Koon (author)Cobalt592012-11-27

totally

Win Guy (author)2011-04-25

And the reason for making one is...?

ybunnygurl (author)2011-04-23

I like how no were you say kids don't do this at home. Just, "Just don't throw it at your buddies. They'll hurt you, even if their left eyebrow is gushing blood," and then move on to playing Spartans. Hehe.

rabidiga (author)2010-12-03

An old ninja item was a hollowed out egg filled with finely ground glass and some sort of chili extract or powder. Then seal the egg and paint it black (just for concealment). Throw the egg in an assailants face and it shatters embedding tiny bits of glass all throughout their face and eyes. Better yet the chili extract seeps in immediately thanks to all the cuts and causes permanent nerve damage. Or so I've been told :D

hikarudigi (author)rabidiga2010-12-15

Thats a really random yet sweet fact! :D

DJ Radio (author)2008-09-21

this officially redefines the term "egg your house"

Camisado (author)DJ Radio2008-09-24

Hear, hear!

Rock Soldier (author)Camisado2009-03-29

can't wait for Halloween...

Camisado (author)Rock Soldier2009-03-30

Ah, Halloween... We don't celebrate it at Indonesia :-P

dla888 (author)Camisado2010-01-15

I have a friend from the Phillipines.

Makersauce (author)dla8882010-03-23

hey im from the phillipines

beehard44 (author)Makersauce2010-10-25

lets egg Gloria's current house lol

Makersauce (author)beehard442010-11-02

hahaha what a mole you have there =.( hahaha mole

knex inventor (author)2010-10-28

LOL its fu**** funny i almost crapped myself when i first saw it

beehard44 (author)2010-10-25

put the egg in the nuke till it explodes lol
i pranked my friend once by taping the egg in the part of the microwave where he can't see it

flamesami (author)2010-09-30

*nicks the spikey egg* here catch! *throws it back, hard*

zombiefire (author)2010-08-02

real egg is better because it shatters and throws pins everywhere, i should know, i made one da,da,da

paravou (author)2010-07-19

a wooden egg would last longer. you wouldn't have to worry about dropping it also I would use some heavy duty work gloves before handling.

imrobot (author)2008-10-18

uumm.... (sinking in....) awesome!!! what if it was in a pneumatic cannon ; hellish bloody goo spike mess!!!!!!!!! yum!

cowgomoo (author)imrobot2008-11-04

haha that reminds me... i took a circular saw bit thing for my drill and took the 2 inch circles of plywood it cut out and then i stuck 10 4 inch screws in it..... and shot it out of my cannon!!!!!! its a 5 gallon tank that i took up to 150 psi and used a 3/4 inch ball valve... heres the kicker, i shot it through the wall of my neighbors house!

codongolev (author)cowgomoo2008-12-15

um.... how is that "the kicker"? that 's the worst part.

flamesami (author)codongolev2010-01-29

cos it comes back and kicks you in the nut when your not looking

ILIKEPIE333 (author)codongolev2009-08-29

because its funny too

mettaurlover (author)codongolev2009-04-02

only if you like your neighbor!

codongolev (author)mettaurlover2009-04-02

and only if you like paying for the wall of your neighbor's house.

mettaurlover (author)codongolev2009-04-06

true...

DrWeird117 (author)imrobot2008-11-01

Uh, you were right. I put it in a pneumatic cannon. And I haven't fired it yet.

charge11595 (author)2010-01-06

 Ouch...

bassclarinet23 (author)2009-10-09

You probably should never throw this.

bears0 (author)bassclarinet232009-10-23

 trying to throw it would probbably just stab yourself haha

bassclarinet23 (author)bears02009-10-23

Very true.

Sunny124613 (author)2009-10-21

 this is what you do with your free time?
 well then congrats you are now part of an elite group
known as nerds. *confetti flies*


5/5 stars
this is way better than the classic tack on a chair bit.....

Raiden97 (author)2009-10-10

a cup with lemon scented pee is better

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Bio: I study engineering at Virginia Tech. Long time instructables fan.
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