How to Sneak Booze Into the Kentucky Derby (or a Concert)





Introduction: How to Sneak Booze Into the Kentucky Derby (or a Concert)

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Buying drinks at huge outdoor concerts, or the Kentucky Derby, can get expensive. You'll be there all day, and at $8 a drink... well they might as well be using a gun. So why not sneak in your own supply of delicious whiskey, vodka, mixed drinks, wine or... whatever else you want?*

This is how you sneak booze into the Derby infield or any other concert venue that allows you to bring in a cooler. Simple, easy, and MacGyver-approved. 

What you'll need:
- Rolling cooler
- Soldering iron or a stove and a large nail
- Utility knife or exacto blade
- Ziploc bags (quart and gallon size)
- Up to (approximately) half a gallon of your favorite adult beverage

*This is for the fun and enjoyable sneaking of booze into a place where people are already drinking.
If you use this instructable for evil, like smuggling meth, or trying to hurt people in a public place, then you're a bad person and I hope you trip and fall on a pile of razor blades. 

Step 1: 1 - Find a Cooler!

Step 1 - find a cooler! 

The easiest way to do this is to find a cheap rolling cooler in a friend's garage or on craigslist. I found an igloo polar express (or some stupid name) for $15. 

Yes, the first google image search that comes up is from a police auction site... 

Step 2: The Honey Hole

The best part about buying a cooler used is that the bottom is already scratched up. This does you a favor in camouflaging the cuts you'll make in the bottom of the cooler. 

Flip the cooler over and note the most scratched up parts.

Using an exacto blade, utility knife, or other razor blade with a handle, cut into the outer shell through about the middle of the scratched parts. If you just use a knife the gap might be just a little too big. 

A) Be careful not to cut your finger off. If you cut your finger off you're gonna have a bad time. 
B) The cut doesn't have to be deep, but try to make the cut straight.
C) Have patience. Go slow. Be careful. Win. 

Step 3: Hollow Man...

Pull the bottom part off (it should pop up easily) and behold the glory of spray foam insulation! 

Using a wide-blade knife, chunk of metal with a flat bottom.... or something spatula-like, start taking chunks of the foam out of the bottom of the cooler. Be careful how much gusto you put into this- eventually you'll hit the inside liner of the cooler. If you break the inside liner you're gonna have a bad time.

To boost space, carve as far into the space between the inner liner and outside shell as you can, around corners or whatever. 

Chances are you're going to have a cavity that is 1" deep. That's not going to look like a lot, but 1"X12"X12" = 144 cubic inches = 2.3 liters, more than a handle of your favorite brown liquor, or a growler of beer, or 3 bottles of wine. Math is badass. 

At this point you can test how much room you have by filling a ziploc with water. Using an empy wine bottle (0.75L, the same size as a regular bottle of liquor from the store) see how many bottles you can fit in there and still fit the lid on easily. 

The ziplocs will let your beverage conform to the room available. Science!

Step 4: Load It Up

Next, pour your favorite adult beverage into several quart-sized ziploc bags. Fill them each about 1/3 full and place 2 or 3 inside a gallon sized ziploc. 

Why? If you make your whole day depend on one single ziploc bag, there's a very real possibility that you'll wind up with a cooler dripping bourbon out on the ground when you open it up, and friends that don't want to talk to you ever again. 

If you divide your supply into quarts, and one of the quarts leak, then it's still in the gallon bag. It also makes it easier to shift the liquor around to get the best fit. 

If you're attempting this with beer... ugh... well first, why are you drinking beer like a little girl? Whiskey is for men with hairy chests, and it's refreshing on a hot day with some ice, which you need for the cooler, remember?

Second, if you think you're going to do this with beer, you have to do everything from this step onwards within about an hour of expecting to open the bags again. And at that, I'm just guessing. Chances are beer will end in diaster. Just sayin'.

Step 5: Cute Baby Seal

At this point you can, if you want, put a layer of wax paper over the ziploc bags and try to superglue the bottom piece back in a few spots before you melt it back on. I didn't try this, but if your cooler has very thin walls or it's making your nervous, then feel free to do this. The paper will help keep you from having glue seepage mess up your ziplocs. But, not completely necessary, either. 

Next set the piece you cut out back into the hole.

Take your soldering iron on low (or repeatedly heating a large nail over a stove or something), and melt the plastic around where you cut back together. This is going to be a pretty superficial seal, but should still work. 

Using just the soldering iron alone worked just fine for us, and there wasn't any plastic stickage. BUT, in case you end up having problems you might be able to use waxpaper or parchment paper as a non-stick barrier to melt the plastic back. But honestly, just a soldering iron worked just fine. 

Do this in a well-ventilated area.... or get cancer, it's up to you, really. 

BE SURE leave one corner open, even if just a 1/4" gap. It won't be enough to notice, and makes getting your bounty out again very easy. 

Step 6: Test and Go

Load your cooler up and give it a couple shakes. Make sure the whole bottom part isn't going to pop out. Be a little rough on it- you'd rather fix this at home now than when you're 4th in line to get in and a rent-a-cop is standing right there. 

If you don't have any problems, you're good to go. Throw in your ice and head to the event.

Don't forget your vodka-soaked iceberg lettuce.... or I guess a watermelon injected with vodka would work much better. 

Step 7: Like a Boss

Walk up to the rent-a-cop like a boss. Chat with him or her, looking them in the eye and being cordial. After all, this kind person is going to save you $60 on booze, remember? They're part of the game. Open your cooler for them - offer them a sandwich! Why not?

The last place they're going to want to look is underneath your cooler, and even if they did, it will take the trained eye of someone making more than $12/hr to see the seal now that you've gently scuffed the bottom up a bit on the walk to the gates. 

Find you and your friends a spot to set up camp. Get out your chairs and blankets and sunblock. Get comfy, you're going to be there all day. 

...and when the mood strikes, get a friend to help you lift the cooler up and have another person use a car key to pop the bottom open.  Your cooler will pay out like a slot machine and everyone sitting around you will probably get a lot friendlier. But hey, you have a whole handle to drink, what's the rush? 



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    Have you guys ever considered Catheter bags. They are medically clean when you buy them so I wouldn't worry about that part, they have a pour spout and some sites have them rated!


    and EVEN IF they see it and ask about it you can show them some scotch or whiskey or vodka with diluted yellow food colouring.

    If they question you then start a frackas about discrimination, personal intimidation or loss of personal dignity and public humiliation ...... they will let you pass

    exxcellent idea and if you carry some freezer ice packs you place one on top the weight will force the liquid out a tube into your cup/mouth. Heck just use the platypus (or cheaper) bags then put them in the hidden spot

    Being from KY, I have thoroughly enjoyed reading the idea as well as all the comments ! U guys rock, quite wickedly, I must say :) This is a good case ur wondering....Yeah, that infield at Churchill can get rather cramped and a nice, I'll say.....cooling beverage helps the day move a little faster. I just joined this site while ago and am very interested in what I might find this...I think some pretty cool things. Y'all have fun !

    i sneak booze into events by hiding it in my stomach.

    just as an fyi... you can do one more mod to the cooler... get a camel-pak bladder and route the hose to the draining nozzle. it might take a few tweaks, but then you don't have to worry about having to dismantle the cooler.

    If you wanted to really get crazy you could find a way to put the screw open lid in the bottom of the inside of the cooler

    Another handy place for a little booze sumggling is the bag for the folding camp chair you may already be carrying anyway. For the common top-loader with a drawstring you can probably at least fit a couple cans or bags in the pocket formed by the seat as it folds up.

    I have a couple with full-length zippers that can each swallow a 6-pack along with the chair, though a couple would be revealed by even a cursory inspection. But how often do you see security checking camp chairs?

    Ah---the Flask Cane---pretty sure it is illegal but there were old canes with a long glass cylinder that held enuf booze for one or two---Now I use a cane and don't really drink but this could still be done like the prior poster wrote---just be sure the whole cane is leakproof first!

    No one pays ANY attention to gimps so if you can beg borrow or steal a wheelchair, wheelscooter or a walker the person USING the "handicapped aid" will be pretty much the shoo-in for carrying yer contraband. I am always the designated carrier.

    Also some places--like the Saratoga Racetrack (flat track) have BANNED the use of hardsided coolers AND glass containers. SPAC (can you tell I live in NY???) will check almost everywhere for contraband at some shows--Dave Matthews Band etc---but not others. AND they make you sit in a PLAY PEN if you buy the over priced beer and wine--the hardest stuff they sell. This is to protect the kiddies--like the kiddies don't ASK why Daddy is confined inside a fence!!!!

    Now--back to breaking and entering. Has anyone considered using the HARD SIDED COOLER BRICKS? I dunno what is in there but since they are sooo cheap surely emptying a few out and either using zip bags inside and just chucking them in the cooler OR after cleaning using them as a bottle and finding some way to reseal them---no one is looking at them as they are a normal part of cooler useage and are translucent plastic. IF anyone sees you remove them they will think nothing of it just be discrete about pouring them.

    Also there is a product called the BEER BRA---you figure out how THAT one is made!

    And in my younger and wilder days I was known for having a leather bag made like the back of a lute--if you stuffed a few T shirts on the outside of the bag and then filled it with a few bottles and other contraband--ya know that stuff is sooo much SMALLER---and by slipping the strap around my neck with the bag facing OUT I was able to waddle into many an event as a heavily pregnant woman. Even passed a few "pat downs" at the old Nassau Coliseum,---a place just slightly less paranoid about security than Alcatraz in it's time. Course this was easier in the winter months but surely a clever woman could come up with a "modest" maternity blouse and then change into real summer clothes in the ladies room.

    Now--how about a FLASK WALKER??? Now THERES an idea!!!!!!