Step 3: Soldering wire
With the wires you want to join twisted together and held in place, pick up your soldering iron in one hand and your solder in the other.
Touch the tip of the soldering iron to the wires and keep it there.
The wires will begin to heat up. At some point over the next 2-10 seconds (depending on how hot your iron is) the wires will be hot enough to melt the solder. You can touch the solder to the wires (not to the tip of the iron!) periodically to see if it's hot enough. It's tempting to just touch the solder to the tip of the iron and melt it right away, but don't! You will end up making what's called a cold solder joint. This occurs when you melt the solder around the joint, but you aren't melting the solder into your joint or onto your components to make a good connection. It's much better to wait the few seconds and melt the solder onto the hot wire itself.
If you touch the solder to the wire and it begins to smoke and melt, the wires are hot enough. Add the tip of your solder to the joint as necessary. You want to introduce enough solder to cover the wires, but not so much that you create a big glob of solder at the bottom of the joint.
Once you've got what you think is enough solder on the joint, pull the solder away and then remove the soldering iron. If you're using a gun style soldering iron like I was, release the trigger to turn it off. If you're using the kind that doesn't have a trigger the iron will stay hot, so just place it back into the holder.
Here is a video of wire being soldered. The whole process happens pretty fast, and isn't nearly as complicated as you may have expected.
Here is a close-up video of the same process.
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There's a few possible problems, the obvious one is you're iron isn't hot enough. I prefer a 40W iron over a 30W any day. It seems 30W are the most common, but they just don't cut it for me.
Try a cheapo model form ebay etc for $5 or so and see how it works for you.
Another fix is to heat the iron up a bit with a torch. I rarely need to do this to boost heat, but I will use a torch as the heat source for the iron if I'm too far from an outlet..
The other problem could be thinking the flux inside the solder is enough. It is not.... At least it has never been for me. You need to flux the surfaces and be sure the surface can be soldered in the first place.
The surface could be coated or plated with something that either the solder or the flux doesn't like. It might also be corrosion, a lubricant, protectant, or who knows what. In those cases I clean it with a chemical such as electric contact cleaner aka brake cleaner, or even carb cleaner, but most people use alcohol. If that doesn't work then it's probably some kind of coating you'll need to remove with force, like sandpaper or a Dremel tool to break thru to the good metal. Once you've ground the bad part off, clean it, coat it with flux and try again.
If it's still being difficult you can try using sandpaper on it while it's coated in flux. I like 320-400 wet/dry paper, maybe 180-220 if it's really bad. Cut a small piece for sacrifice because you don't want to use it again now that it has flux on it. After you have either roughed it up nicely, or ground thru the problem coating whatever it was, clean it, flux it, and try again.
I prefer to coat the problem item in solder first, that way I know it'll work when it's time to attach something. Assuming the iron is hot, clean, and will hold solder (plain old rosin core 60/40 works best for me), put a little on the tip, then apply it to the surface and hold until it flows and coats your surface. If it's a large item and you can't get it hot enough you will need to preheat the item with a torch or whatever, I've used anything from little butane torches to my oven, as long as everything can handle the heat that is. (fyi; preheating also works for welding when the machine can't generate enough heat). Once it's hot enough the solder will flow nicely into the area worked on, and your problem is solved.
If you never could get the solder to stick then you might be working with the wrong metal, like aluminum, so use the appropriate method for that metal, or simply try using a screw or bolt as a contact. If you can figure out what the base metal is, then search the net for a bolt material that will not react with it. Example; drill a hole and use an appropriate bolt/nut and torque it down good, then apply solder to the bolt's head which should be a snap. Common steel bolts are usually coated with something which probably needs to be ground off. Grind off just enough area for what you need, and preferably solder it in a way you can still use the tool to remove it if needed. Now flux your spot and apply a little drop of solder like described above. Being a bolt it's probably heavier and may need a little boost with a torch.
I flux/solder each piece first so I know they're both good to go, then I put them together and add a drop of solder with the iron until it flows.
I hope this helps some people with their soldering problems...