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How to talk to an ex...

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This is going to be complicated... because there's more than one way and there's more than one kind of phonecall or conversation for an ex to want to have...

I could really do with a female collaborator to make this instructable more useful and make sure it is one sided...

*A small addition, some of this advice would probably help with people you don't get along with, thanks to shaunak for that little nugget.
 
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Step 1: They call you...

So say the ex in question calls you up, probably withheld number (it's an ex thing they know you know them but still...) The hello will tell you alot about how the conversation is likely to go.

Your phone rings, you pick up, you say hello and you hear a sad/unhappy hello and you say hello again as you normally would and get back another sad/unhappy hello which has a breath or sigh in between answers and replies. Your call could go a few ways, they may start talking then burst into a slew of painfully accurate abuse, profess their undying love for you or have quite alot of bad news in general that prompted them to call you. It's usually best to start out with something quite innocuous like 'how are you?' or 'what have you been up to?', at this point and at every point try not to be offhand, I don't know why but it makes an ex incredibly angry. However if they sound agitated or very upset it could be worth asking 'is everything alright?' but this could all come back to something like 'NO YOU SON OF A B****, YOU RUINED MY LIFE/BROKE MY HEART/I THOUGHT YOU CARED' Usually if you want to get a real conversation going for whatever reasons with an ex that is angry like this you should try getting them to talk about what's been going on since you broke up or ask them about something that makes them happy, just don't say something stupid like 'So how are you after I dumped your sorry a**?' (not something I've come our with but worth avoiding).

If you do get them talking to you civilly try to keep the conversation a bit lighter, and if you do get on to the topic of your relationship then don't bring up the bad times or ask heavy questions until appropriate, otherwise you run the risk of killing the conversation.

Even if you just want to be friends again or get to a point where you can be in the same room as eachother without everyone else being awkward, it's a good idea to talk in person so if you are getting along well then maybe ask them for coffee or lunch. Best do that at somewhere more neutral, not either person house, but somewhere you used to go could be a nice touch.

If you get this far you're probably into the realms of speaking to them well enough to re-establish a friendship or a relationship.

Look how angry they are...

Come an see what dr ogogodu has done for me,i am write this testimony with joy in my heart,dr ogogodu made me to be happy again after my lover name Roger left me for another lady,i try all i could to get back my lover but he didn't come back to me i told is mother to help me plead to him he did not listing to his mother so i didn't know what to do and couldn't let any woman to be with him so one day so lucky for me i was listing to the radio when a woman was giving her testimony how this great man name dr ogogodu help her to get back her husband who left her she said that this great man is great that this great man help alot of people in this world,she now give out the cell number of dr ogogodu i now write down the cell number,i was so having the belive that this great man can help me to get back my lover with out no problem,when i called him he now pick my call,i told him my problem he just told me that my problem is solve that i should just have faith with him so i told him that i have faith he said okay that i should do some thing which i did,he now told me that he will call me so later he now call me that he has done so prayer that my lover is going to come back to me within the next 20hours,and that was it my lover came back to me at the time dr ogogodu said'and now will are happily married together all thank to dr ogogodu,till now people around me do not know how will came back together his mother is happy with us i do not know what to say but thanks you dr ogogodu well people will need is help also so this is dr ogogodu email ogogodutempleofsolution@gmail.com or call him +2348078999655,now i am filled with joy in my heart thank you doctor ogogodu for your great help

MY name is Mrs Rose i live in united state of America

Come an see what dr ogogodu has done for me,i am write this testimony with joy in my heart,dr ogogodu made me to be happy again after my lover name Roger left me for another lady,i try all i could to get back my lover but he didn't come back to me i told is mother to help me plead to him he did not listing to his mother so i didn't know what to do and couldn't let any woman to be with him so one day so lucky for me i was listing to the radio when a woman was giving her testimony how this great man name dr ogogodu help her to get back her husband who left her she said that this great man is great that this great man help alot of people in this world,she now give out the cell number of dr ogogodu i now write down the cell number,i was so having the belive that this great man can help me to get back my lover with out no problem,when i called him he now pick my call,i told him my problem he just told me that my problem is solve that i should just have faith with him so i told him that i have faith he said okay that i should do some thing which i did,he now told me that he will call me so later he now call me that he has done so prayer that my lover is going to come back to me within the next 20hours,and that was it my lover came back to me at the time dr ogogodu said'and now will are happily married together all thank to dr ogogodu,till now people around me do not know how will came back together his mother is happy with us i do not know what to say but thanks you dr ogogodu well people will need is help also so this is dr ogogodu email ogogodutempleofsolution@gmail.com or call him +2348078999655,now i am filled with joy in my heart thank you doctor ogogodu for your great help

MY name is Mrs Rose i live in united state of America

mjoy8yesterday

Hello I am Joy Micheal ,I am out here to spreed this good news to the
entire world on how I got my ex lover back.I was going crazy when my
love left me for another girl last month, But when i meet a friend that
introduce me to DR GREAT OSOBA the great messenger to the oracle that he
serve,I narrated my problem to DR GREAT OSOBA about how my ex love left
me and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only
said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my
heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After
it was been done,In the next 2 days,My love called me on the phone and
was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week
after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for
interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing
director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the
entire world to contact DR GREAT OSOBA at the following email address
and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to
solve..Contact him direct on: greatosobaspelltemple@gmail.com. and get
your problems solve like me..... ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS:
greatosobaspelltemple@gmail.com

mjoy8 mjoy8yesterday

Hello I am Joy Micheal ,I am out here to spreed this good news to the
entire world on how I got my ex lover back.I was going crazy when my
love left me for another girl last month, But when i meet a friend that
introduce me to DR GREAT OSOBA the great messenger to the oracle that he
serve,I narrated my problem to DR GREAT OSOBA about how my ex love left
me and also how i needed to get a job in a very big company.He only
said to me that i have come to the right place were i will be getting my
heart desire without any side effect.He told me what i need to do,After
it was been done,In the next 2 days,My love called me on the phone and
was saying sorry for living me before now and also in the next one week
after my love called me to be pleading for forgiveness,I was called for
interview in my desired company were i needed to work as the managing
director..I am so happy and overwhelmed that i have to tell this to the
entire world to contact DR GREAT OSOBA at the following email address
and get all your problem solve..No problem is too big for him to
solve..Contact him direct on: greatosobaspelltemple@gmail.com. and get
your problems solve like me..... ONCE AGAIN HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS:
greatosobaspelltemple@gmail.com

1240641_1393554104206430_912183349_a.jpg
mlina2 days ago

GREETINGS.....

My name is Mrs Merlin Lina, Am from UK, I
had a serious quarrel with my husband due to my parent, my parent never
like him to be my husband, but i love him so much that i will rather
die to let him go off me, that was how i met this great man of DR. TEBE
online, he told me that everything will be fine that he can do a spell
that will make my parent love him and allow me to marry him without any
quarrel thoroughly it came to pass my mum and dad love him most than
before we are now happily married,please help me in thanking him
for his help, here is the email: greattebespelltemple@gmail.com His web site address is http://greattebespelltemple.webs.com ALSO CONTACT HIM FOR HELP IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEM.

mlina5 days ago

I am Mrs ANDERSON ANN from USA, i want to
share a testimony of my life to every one. i was married to my husband
Barry Morgan, i love him so much we have been married for 5 years now
with two kids. when he went for a vacation to France he meant a lady
called Clara who en charm him with his beauty, he told me that he is no
longer interested in the marriage any more. i was so confuse and seeking
for help, i don't know what to do until I met my friend Miss Rose and
told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she
had a similar problem before and introduce me to a man called Dr Iyayi.
who cast a spell on her ex and bring him back to her after 3days. Miss
Rose ask me to contact Dr Iyayi. I contacted him to help me bring back
my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods of his
fore-fathers will fight for me. He told me by three days he will
re-unite me and my husband together. After three day my husband called
and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was
surprise when I saw him and he started crying for forgiveness and that
he never knew what came upon him that he will never leave me again or
the kids.it was the spell that was casted on him that was working on
him. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth for what this great
spell caster did for me and my husband, you can contact Dr.Iyayi on any
problem in this world, he is very nice, here is his contact
driyayilovespellhome@gmail.com. or contact him through his website
address: http://driyayilovespellhome.webs.com You can also contact him through his mobile: +2347032617285. He is the best spell caster.

1377540_1395338767368622_1620617900_n.jpg



Hello my name is Lewis Cheney from USA, My life is back!!! After 6 years of marriage, my husband left me and left me with our 2 kids. I felt like my life was about to end, and was falling apart. I contacted Dr ONIHA I explained my problem to him. In just 2 day, my husband came back to us and show me and my kids much love and apologize for all the pain he have bring to the family. We solved our issues, and we are even happier than before you are the best spell caster Dr ONIHA i really appreciate the love spell you castes for me to get the man back to my life i will keep sharing more testimonies to people about your good work Thank you once again at onihaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com. in case you are in any problem you can contact this man for help he is always there in his temple to help you solve your problem Contact Email is :onihaspiritualtemple@yahoo.com

mlina9 days ago

I am Mrs ANDERSON ANN from USA, i want to
share a testimony of my life to every one. i was married to my husband
Barry Morgan, i love him so much we have been married for 5 years now
with two kids. when he went for a vacation to France he meant a lady
called Clara who en charm him with his beauty, he told me that he is no
longer interested in the marriage any more. i was so confuse and seeking
for help, i don't know what to do until I met my friend Miss Rose and
told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she
had a similar problem before and introduce me to a man called Dr Iyayi.
who cast a spell on her ex and bring him back to her after 3days. Miss
Rose ask me to contact Dr Iyayi. I contacted him to help me bring back
my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods of his
fore-fathers will fight for me. He told me by three days he will
re-unite me and my husband together. After three day my husband called
and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was
surprise when I saw him and he started crying for forgiveness and that
he never knew what came upon him that he will never leave me again or
the kids.it was the spell that was casted on him that was working on
him. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth for what this great
spell caster did for me and my husband, you can contact Dr.Iyayi on any
problem in this world, he is very nice, here is his contact
driyayilovespellhome@gmail.com. or contact him through his website
address: http://driyayilovespellhome.webs.com You can also contact him through his mobile: +2347032617285. He is the best spell caster.....

1377540_1395338767368622_1620617900_n.jpg
mlina9 days ago

I am Mrs ANDERSON ANN from USA, i want to
share a testimony of my life to every one. i was married to my husband
Barry Morgan, i love him so much we have been married for 5 years now
with two kids. when he went for a vacation to France he meant a lady
called Clara who en charm him with his beauty, he told me that he is no
longer interested in the marriage any more. i was so confuse and seeking
for help, i don't know what to do until I met my friend Miss Rose and
told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she
had a similar problem before and introduce me to a man called Dr Iyayi.
who cast a spell on her ex and bring him back to her after 3days. Miss
Rose ask me to contact Dr Iyayi. I contacted him to help me bring back
my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods of his
fore-fathers will fight for me. He told me by three days he will
re-unite me and my husband together. After three day my husband called
and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was
surprise when I saw him and he started crying for forgiveness and that
he never knew what came upon him that he will never leave me again or
the kids.it was the spell that was casted on him that was working on
him. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth for what this great
spell caster did for me and my husband, you can contact Dr.Iyayi on any
problem in this world, he is very nice, here is his contact
driyayilovespellhome@gmail.com. or contact him through his website
address: http://driyayilovespellhome.webs.com You can also contact him through his mobile: +2347032617285. He is the best spell caster.

Ari Marcus10 days ago

i am Ari by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after six(6) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when I was reading through the web, I saw a post on how this spell caster on this address ehispellcentre@gmail.com, have help a woman to get back her husband and I gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that I will have my husband back. I believed him and today I am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because I am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr.EHI His email: ehispellcentre@gmail.com Dr EHI OR CALL IM ON HIS MOBILE NUMBER +2347053839053 Good luck

Ari Marcus10 days ago

i am Ari by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after six(6) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when I was reading through the web, I saw a post on how this spell caster on this address ehispellcentre@gmail.com, have help a woman to get back her husband and I gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that I will have my husband back. I believed him and today I am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because I am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr.EHI His email: ehispellcentre@gmail.com Dr EHI OR CALL IM ON HIS MOBILE NUMBER +2347053839053 Good luck

Ari Marcus10 days ago

i am Ari by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after six(6) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when I was reading through the web, I saw a post on how this spell caster on this address ehispellcentre@gmail.com, have help a woman to get back her husband and I gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that I will have my husband back. I believed him and today I am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because I am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr.EHI His email: ehispellcentre@gmail.com Dr EHI OR CALL IM ON HIS MOBILE NUMBER +2347053839053 Good luck

Ari Marcus10 days ago

i am Ari by name. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after six(6) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when I was reading through the web, I saw a post on how this spell caster on this address ehispellcentre@gmail.com, have help a woman to get back her husband and I gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 3 days that I will have my husband back. I believed him and today I am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because I am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr.EHI His email: ehispellcentre@gmail.com Dr EHI OR CALL IM ON HIS MOBILE NUMBER +2347053839053 Good luck

mlina11 days ago

GREETINGS.....

My name is Mrs Merlin Lina, Am from UK, I
had a serious quarrel with my husband due to my parent, my parent never
like him to be my husband, but i love him so much that i will rather
die to let him go off me, that was how i met this great man of DR. TEBE
online, he told me that everything will be fine that he can do a spell
that will make my parent love him and allow me to marry him without any
quarrel thoroughly it came to pass my mum and dad love him most than
before we are now happily married,please help me in thanking him
for his help, here is the email and phone number greattebespelltemple@gmail.com His web site address is http://greattebespelltemple.webs.com

mlina11 days ago

GREETINGS.....

My name is Mrs Merlin Lina, Am from UK, I
had a serious quarrel with my husband due to my parent, my parent never
like him to be my husband, but i love him so much that i will rather
die to let him go off me, that was how i met this great man of DR. TEBE
online, he told me that everything will be fine that he can do a spell
that will make my parent love him and allow me to marry him without any
quarrel thoroughly it came to pass my mum and dad love him most than
before we are now happily married,please help me in thanking him
for his help, here is the email and phone number greattebespelltemple@gmail.com His web site address ishttp://greattebespelltemple.webs.com

aimee889886 months ago
You seem to have dumped a lot of people !! Idd like to add that much of this works with people with whom you just cant get along, not only ex'es. Great work.
all right i broke up with my old girlfriend a couple weeks ago. i dated for about a week then ended it because i wanted my ex back. how do talk to her about getting back together because she's been dropping hints that she may want me back.
nathan7332 years ago
im guessing you been there before?
killerjackalope (author)  nathan7332 years ago
Yeah, always seem to be there somehow... Every now and again I manage to almost take my own advice too...
ya ive been there to. ;)
killerjackalope (author)  nathan7332 years ago
Haha, it's all good in the end...
ha will not for me so far.
killerjackalope (author)  nathan7332 years ago
Yeah but if I keep saying it maybe it'll happen ;p
ya maybe.
J.D. (Zach Braff)! I love Scrubs.
Ninzerbean4 years ago
Speaking from being on the receiving end of a break up, I would like to add that the dumper should tell the dumpee that they are sorry as often as possible. Especially if they cheated and lied and hid their money and didn't treat them fairly in the divorce. The lack of constant apologies makes the dumpee want to extract one at every chance by bringing up a list of past stupidities and making the dumpee seem not at all lady-like for behaving like a petulant child. I'm over it now but it would have been faster if I gotten some compassion from the dumper.
killerjackalope (author)  Ninzerbean4 years ago
I can't turn around and just agree, having been on the business end of a gun because of a certain woman and her generally psychotic ways, I can agree on parts of that but at the same time there are times when the dumper was in the right. You do have a point, and I'm glad you got over it but at the same time it's not always the case, it gets messed up when the dumper isn't who did all the wrong but did some, also I guess I pointed this more at ex's in general, like girlfriends etc. and never gave much thought to even more serious chunks of life, I'm glad it applies to some extent but honestly if you think it's not enough I'd be happy to contribute to a collaboration on the likes of ex wives, especially after the last few days.
One thing I leaned from a whacked out dog I had was that negative attention was still attention and I think this applies to people. If a person's heart is broken they tend for some reason to go to the one who broke it for a band-aid - think about it - like what if someone shot you? Would you go to them for a band-aid? No! But dumpees go back and back and back for attention, negative attention will still fill the bill. You, the dumper can't stop this, but you can't help them by showing compassion as in "I'm sorry, but no" "I'm sorry you are hurting but no" etc.
killerjackalope (author)  Ninzerbean4 years ago
It depends on the dumpee I guess, she reached closure by eventually saying some things that shouldn't have been said and made me crack, at which point I said nothing but get out, she texted, made point clear again and she's stopped annoying my life. You do have a point about some people, it really depends on a lot of stuff and it can be hideously complicated, though I tried to cover the general stuff...
In case no one else brought this one up... going "somewhere you used to go could be a nice touch" is not really a good idea. Maybe if you are already good friends and see each other occasionally, or at least it's been long enough for both of you that neither of you is sore about anything from the relationship or the breakup, it could fly, and you might just wax nostalgic about the good old times. But if you are still emotionally charged up about each other in any way, it's probably best to go somewhere REALLY neutral, like a place you've never been to together before, or at least a place that you visited briefly with no memories attached to it. Otherwise you might be opening a HUGE can of worms, and inviting a nice embarrassing public scene.
killerjackalope (author)  pixelinabitmap5 years ago
I probably should emphasize the use of could to that end, it's definitely not always ideal though if emotionally charged in any way being in public cna be helpful by helping keeping a leash on the insanity... However it can be less awful if it's somewhere neutral that you both know, it can help control the nervousness of the situation in some respects...
wolfy_90055 years ago
JD hmmm what shows that pic from? doesnt look like scrubs :)
Okay, if 17 year olds are allowed to fly in Ireland, I'm so moving there...
killerjackalope (author)  Lithium Rain5 years ago
Air cadets... beside you can actually have a flying liscence when you're 16...
I'm so jealous.
killerjackalope (author)  Lithium Rain5 years ago
Awwws rage... I still think america's too strict, flying a plane is easy as hell...
Well, you maybe could get a license over here when you're 16 or 17, I don't know, but I always figured it was incredibly difficult and complicated. It isn't so? Is it hard or expensive to learn?
I think you can still get a private license when you are 16 in the US. It usually requires 40 to 50 hours of instruction and flying. With fuel prices, it's getting more expensive, but there are a lot of instructors who will make you a good deal on the instruction part. Basically if you can scrape up $4000-$6000, you have a pretty good shot at it.
Wow. That actually sounds...doable! It's always been a dream of mine to become a pilot...
i always had a dream of taking down a pilot. forcefully. I have the ethnic background to prove it. (that was a joke, no, i will not attempt to kill you with a broken glass from a bottle i bought past the security zone, and no, i will not attempt to make back flips with the plane.)
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