Print PDF
Favorite
Email
Step 6The bad bits...
Right during writing this I've had three calls from an ex that won't leave me alone, we're talking stalking...
So there comes a point when enough is enough and you need to get on with your life in peace, this may involve any number of things (remember a restraining order is cheaper than a hitman)
If an ex will not stop calling even though you believe you have made things clear about leaving you alone check this list about things you said:
- All word used were firm and clear cut (Over, No, etc.)
- You were firm with them (Tone and use of language, no ahhhs ummms and maybe's and with confidence behind them)
- You made no accidental allusions to hope etc for relationship
- Don't ever say you miss them even when you do (not to be mean but it's sending convoluted messages)
- You said this in a calm manner, not gentle but if you say it all when you're angry they'll think you said it in anger and didn't mean it...)
- Don't go back on yourself, repetition is fine but going back on your words is bad...
If they still don't leave you alone sometimes it takes you to make them hate you, this can be cruel I know it's like telling kids there's no santa but in the end it's better for everyone if they end up just thinking 'well he/she's a bitch/prick'. If they tell you things about you like you're amazing at such and such or I always thought that you were really good with monkeys (we need monkeys) then disillusion them with you, because when they say it they're very likely to be wrong (they pick things that you really can't fathom sometimes) Just be frank, honest and a bit of a jerk, not too much but enough of one that they don't just say you're modest.
Changing your number has minimal effect, you'll bump in to them somewhere and you have to go to all the effort of telling everyone you changed your number. Barring their number may be an option and would send a message to them.
Getting on with your life and being well and happy could also help alot, though you may get the obligatory 'how could you just erase me from your life?' (in fact I got that half an hour ago...)
I know it sucks when an ex calls and doesn't leave you alone, usually all starts civil, right?. When it all turns nasty and they start trying to make you mad or say things that just aren't true it's easy to get angry but do your damnedest not to get really mad, mine started telling me i turned in to an asshole followed by but what did I do? well i was good to you... (in reality a malevolent bitch who tried to manipulate me and hated not managing to) and eventually I cracked causing about a grands worth of damage to my house and furniture in all while on the phone telling her exactly what i thought, this is why we don't get mad kids... If you know they are go out to the street so you just look like a lunatic and don't go for the punching bag, you'll end up with a broken ceiling joist and a ripped punching bag...
So there comes a point when enough is enough and you need to get on with your life in peace, this may involve any number of things (remember a restraining order is cheaper than a hitman)
If an ex will not stop calling even though you believe you have made things clear about leaving you alone check this list about things you said:
- All word used were firm and clear cut (Over, No, etc.)
- You were firm with them (Tone and use of language, no ahhhs ummms and maybe's and with confidence behind them)
- You made no accidental allusions to hope etc for relationship
- Don't ever say you miss them even when you do (not to be mean but it's sending convoluted messages)
- You said this in a calm manner, not gentle but if you say it all when you're angry they'll think you said it in anger and didn't mean it...)
- Don't go back on yourself, repetition is fine but going back on your words is bad...
If they still don't leave you alone sometimes it takes you to make them hate you, this can be cruel I know it's like telling kids there's no santa but in the end it's better for everyone if they end up just thinking 'well he/she's a bitch/prick'. If they tell you things about you like you're amazing at such and such or I always thought that you were really good with monkeys (we need monkeys) then disillusion them with you, because when they say it they're very likely to be wrong (they pick things that you really can't fathom sometimes) Just be frank, honest and a bit of a jerk, not too much but enough of one that they don't just say you're modest.
Changing your number has minimal effect, you'll bump in to them somewhere and you have to go to all the effort of telling everyone you changed your number. Barring their number may be an option and would send a message to them.
Getting on with your life and being well and happy could also help alot, though you may get the obligatory 'how could you just erase me from your life?' (in fact I got that half an hour ago...)
I know it sucks when an ex calls and doesn't leave you alone, usually all starts civil, right?. When it all turns nasty and they start trying to make you mad or say things that just aren't true it's easy to get angry but do your damnedest not to get really mad, mine started telling me i turned in to an asshole followed by but what did I do? well i was good to you... (in reality a malevolent bitch who tried to manipulate me and hated not managing to) and eventually I cracked causing about a grands worth of damage to my house and furniture in all while on the phone telling her exactly what i thought, this is why we don't get mad kids... If you know they are go out to the street so you just look like a lunatic and don't go for the punching bag, you'll end up with a broken ceiling joist and a ripped punching bag...
| « Previous Step | Download PDFView All Steps | Next Step » |
 |
Add Comment
|
