Instructables
This instructable is to show you how to use soap. This is for you jamiesoncostello (http://www.instructables.com/member/jamiesoncostello/)
 
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Step 1: In The Shower

First off i suggest that you use soap in the shower. It helps to clean the dirt and germs off of you. First turn on the shower and adjust the temperature to your liking. Then get in, and grab a bar of soap. Firmly hold it, as it will slip from your hands. Then run it all over your body, covering yourself in suds. Then thoroughly rinse your self off, if you need further instruction, read the package of your soap, or go back to the mental institution

Step 2: In The Sink

Washing your hands with soap and water is a very good hygienic practice. It helps to kill germs and keep your hands from becoming icky. First turn the sink water on, then adjust the temperature to your liking. Stick your hands into the water, grab the soap, and scrub them until all visible dirt is removed, or until 3 minutes is up.

Step 3: For Naughty Children With Potty Mouths

This step is thanks to killerjackalope. This is for naughty children, like this one: http://www.instructables.com/member/Tetranitrate/ . (Just Kidding)

When your child says a bad word, simply clean it out of their mouths. To do this simply get a child (preferably your own) that has said a bad word. Then grab a bar of soap. Insert the bar of soap into the child's mouth, and let the flavor soak in ( this usually takes 10-300 seconds, depending how bad the word was) Then take the soap out of the child's mouth, and scold the child, now you are done
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charli108 months ago
Why would you wash a child mouth out with soap why just scold them and ban them from there favorite toy or even ban the telly
HammE charli104 months ago

Because, putting soap in a child's mouth tastes bad, so they should think twice before saying a bad word. And I don't think a kid is going to follow the rules if something is banned.

codongolev5 years ago
I thought that made kids go blind?

a christmas story
shammallamaman (author)  codongolev5 years ago
it was the bb gun that "made kids go blind" not the soap
the bb gun shot kid's eyes out. he fantasized about going blind and how his parents would forever be ashamed that they made him eat soap.
yep, he imagined he had "soap poisoning", but i bet his soap poisoned mouth never cussed again!
lol Like this
Here is another use for soap: If you are ever in prison, carve a gun out of a bar of soap, use shoe polish to paint it black, then use the "gun" to make a guard open your cell and let you out. Just make sure it isn't raining outside.
ernest goes to jail was hilarious!
TN777 santis3082 years ago
LOVE Ernest goes to jail! He carves a machine gun out of a bar of soap, and makes a gaurd let him out. But then the tip wilts! Too Funny!
or wood, john dillinger style.
shammallamaman (author)  Leonard Zelig6 years ago
Do you want to be a collaborator and add that step to it?
Someone needs to make hippies read this. Soap would help improve their hygiene.
EleriK5 years ago
You can do this with Bleach (tm), if it was a REALLY bad word!
jc8176 years ago
If i knew what an instructables collaboration was, or how to use one, I would say make this a collaboration. I almost want to add an entire step on how to use Soap On A Rope.
shammallamaman (author)  jc8176 years ago
You are a collaborator
And you sir, are my hero.
shammallamaman (author)  jc8176 years ago
Lol, thanks, I take pity on you, I don't know if even I would want me as my hero ;) jkjk
Appreciate my two new steps! APPRECIATE!! :)
shammallamaman (author)  jc8176 years ago
Lol, you know what would be awesome, if we got a whole bunch of members to add a couple steps, it would be huge :D So if anyone wants to be a collaborator, ask me
you can use soap to track moon cycles by tracing the moon on your window..... it washes off later!
hahaha this entire page is covered in "would you like to be a collaborator and add that step?" fully, soap mayhem and hygiene should be covered in this instructable to our best extent. when i come up with more ideas, ill add more steps.
shammallamaman (author)  jc8176 years ago
Ok, so will I, I think if we really wanted to, we could beat the record for most colaberators, it is held right now my "How to get a t-shirt for goodhart"
hishealer5 years ago
One step idea, and yes please use it! In order to avoid jail cells altogether, it is a good idea to use soap in some way before going to court or handling legal business. (you would not believe how many ppl come to court smelling like they haven't ever heard of the stuff! Or smell like smoke of some kind... Not a good thing when you are going to see someone that, with a single word, can get you locked up!)
The fact that they are in court in the first place says something about their capacity to think and reason.
hishealer5 years ago
It was about 2:30 am and I'm searching for food after the club closed... In the streetlights I see clouds floating by... I think someone spiked my drink and pull over... Still hungry, I keep walking and see something like this pic... Thanks for the drugless trip! I still LMAO about that night!
duck-lemon5 years ago
"Cleanest mess ever" Comic gold man
Three other uses for soap. - A great learning material for learning to carve intricate designs - A cheap form of ski, on smooth tarmac or indoors, great on massive hall floors... Keeping it on your feet is tricky... - As a punishment aid, you don't have to wash their mouth out, just throw it... Or if they sleep on their backs with their mouths open snoring, take a knife and shave a few bits in, they will soon lose the habit of snoring...
hey! did you read that somewhere! because that happens to me a lot.. stupid brothers..
It's a pretty well known thing, we do it at parties occasionally though the best one is getting someone with bumfluff stubble and find some high strength spot cream, it has peroxides in it which bleach hair, or shave strips from their eyebrows...
ooooh you are baaad!
We just invented a new one, a little tuna or something cats eat, carefully placed on them, they wake up when the cat jumps on them or eventually bites them attempting to get the last of the food. In the morning they also smell like fish...
oh thats a good one!I am soo going to try that,except with sour cream,the dog will be licking their face and they will wake up and sell like dog saliva a rotten sour cream.
Ever laugh while drinking milk an have it spray out of your nose? The smell as it gets warm and dries is terrible, and completely inescapable. I just thought of this, but...why not get an eye dropper, and put a few drops of milk into someones nose while they're sleeping. They wake from their dreams, into a nightmare.
ooh thats a good one!
shammallamaman (author)  killerjackalope6 years ago
Would you like to be a collaborator and add those those ideas to it?
Up to yourself, I don't have photos for these things though, I have considered a basic carving 'ible to learn the hand using a lino cutter and soap as learning materials, I did a lot of intricate lino prints... The ski thing is harder, you need big polished floors and attaching the soap is less than easy, if you knock a shape out of the middle of a thick bar and lash it there it works alright, wetting the floor makes it akin to ice in slipperiness...
shammallamaman (author)  killerjackalope6 years ago
Ok, if you can write a few steps then i can probably do the pictures
shammallamaman (author)  killerjackalope6 years ago
thanks for the suggestions, i added one of them to the ible
haha, cool... I wonder how many uses there are to come up with...
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