How to have sex

How to have sex
In this Instructable we will try to give a general guide to the basics around sex.

Here we are, getting instructables.com all dirtied up, we're here mostly to give a general overview and guide to help young people with sex, it's not something that's easy to talk about and those biology classes aren't exactly helpful...

This 'ible will cover a fair few things about the holy of holies, such as protection and safety, where, when and how, the feelings involved, the act itself and the aftermath.

"Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him."
- Aldous Huxley

Warning


  • Are you looking at this at work? I'd suggest turning back now before it's too late and you start yelling at us. :)
  • In this Ible, explicit content will be discussed. As we assume you are a law-abiding citizen, you must be 13 or older to be viewing this Ible, so we are trying to keep this at about a PG13 level.
  • This Ible was written by three heterosexual males, and one heterosexual female. We will try to cover homosexual sex to the best of our abilities - or our cut and paste abilities, and also try to make this Ible useful for girls. At the end of this Ible we will have a section of links to more information.
  • Have you got problems with seeing this Ible? Push the ALT key on your keyboard, and while holding it down press F4, if you don't like it, don't read it!
 
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Step 1Why We Made This Instructable

Why We Made This Instructable
You may wonder why we have published this Ible. This is why:

Too many people try to have sex without knowing how to do it properly. That is why there are so many sexually frustrated people... and extra babies... in this world then there aught to be.

Well you might say that an 'ible on sex, not only is a bit late in arriving, but is a bit of a controversy on its own, because this is a Do IT Yourself site, the exact opposite of sex, you might say it isn't right on that basis. But then you must also consider this is a how-to site, and on that basis this Ible is much needed addition.

It's also a very pertinent instructable since the younger members of the site (13+) will starting to be having these issues and we'd be very bad people not to give them the help of four depraved monsters from around the world.
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195 comments
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Mar 14, 2010. 6:35 AMsmilet1na says:
fowarding link to ex boyfriend right away.
hehe, thanks :)
Jun 1, 2009. 9:25 PMabadfart says:
very good my school told us condoms don't work so no one used them and a bunch of girls got pregnant. there not that hard to buy, instead of being ashamed just think "now its time for sex"
Jan 13, 2009. 8:18 AMsanty22 says:
i lol'd at the XKCD comics..
Jan 4, 2009. 5:58 AMkamagra says:
(removed by author or community request)
Dec 26, 2008. 3:33 AMJouda Mann says:
As a 30-something man with two daughters who will, despite all my efforts to the contrary, be moving into a sexual awakening soon, this is an excellent effort on the part of you young people to help others be informed and proactive. No mistakes, all very common sense stuff, with appropriate links provided. And the most refreshing piece of all: nothing on abstinence only! Good for all of you. I could ask for a rewrite for grammar, but other than that, it's a beautiful 'ible.
Dec 26, 2008. 3:09 AMJouda Mann says:
In this section on gay and lesbian sex, the best picture you could find is a hovering screw of anal torture?
Dec 20, 2008. 7:52 PMThe_Beast says:
If you replaced Jared name with mine it would sound exactly the same, especially about the drafting and design Great Instructable
Nov 23, 2008. 8:01 PMChemGuy45 says:
Haha, loved the 'ible. Kind of funny that living in California I actually had a class in high school (a public one) that went over a lot of this stuff. Education is definitely better than abstinence... Definitely... Knowledge is power and people preaching abstinence really need to start being realistic.
Sep 15, 2008. 5:16 PMFirebert010 says:
I can't conceive Bumpus actually writing this. KJ I can see, Rishnai I don't know, and knowing Jessy isn't all innocent scares me. Great collab, congrats and GREAT SUCCESS!
1205266065302.jpg
Nov 21, 2008. 1:03 PMjessyratfink says:
Aww, it's okay, I scare a lot of people that way. And seeing as I'm the old lady in this collaboration, I'd be more worried if I was completely innocent at this point in my life. ;)
Oct 28, 2008. 6:04 AMKentsOkay says:
I was so not mentioned...
Nov 6, 2008. 4:27 PMFirebert010 says:
Apologies!!! YOU ARE A SEX GOD
Nov 6, 2008. 6:33 PMKentsOkay says:
:D
Sep 16, 2008. 6:41 PMFirebert010 says:
I know, but seeing as she's arguably the most active/attractive female (with respect to Canida and any others I forgot), knowing more of her intimate details, however obvious they were, was a bit of a shocker, needless as it may be. By the way, your (I'm assuming it was you, can't imagine any of the others saying it) comment "Anyway, there are two schools of thought here, you can either stay up a little and be all gentle and ticklish, or you can go to work..." made me laugh like I haven't in weeks. Comedy genius, or maybe just hit some weird nerve with me. All-in-all, still a great 'Ible, I'd like to see you guys work together in the future.
Sep 21, 2008. 4:52 PMFirebert010 says:
I don't know, go more in depth. Specific positions. Now THAT"S pushing the limit!
Oct 21, 2008. 10:12 PMthe-super-reaper says:
why is this a necessity
Obviously the equation goes as such
Killerjackalope instructables=the sex
so thats all you have to do
is post an instructable about how you post instructables!
Oct 26, 2008. 8:22 PMjongscx says:
... Nice...
Oct 18, 2008. 9:04 AMaaronscottaugustinhotmail.com says:
this was very helpfull for me thanks :)
Oct 18, 2008. 1:17 AMfriendtoyou says:
(removed by author or community request)
Sep 28, 2008. 2:27 PMdaniel master says:
perverts
Sep 20, 2008. 3:39 AMsadunpererarules says:
haha. u guys rock. n just ruined the magic of it. haha. hw did u make that last pic?with that guy n da girl. n all those red and black spiral things?
Sep 15, 2008. 2:06 PMbowmaster says:
AT LEAST 2 XKCD REFENCES!!!! HOLY CRAP!!! I LOVE THAT WEBCOMIC!!!
Aug 24, 2008. 10:09 AMcowscankill says:
i didnt read this, and glad. im probably still young though i am 13. hate to have nightmares again...
Aug 24, 2008. 1:14 PMcowscankill says:
xD yeah, i already have wierd dreams. like WIERD dreams. couple years ago in a dream, i had a girlfriend that i never met. she called a pay phone, i answered, we started talking, and her last name was Pinochio. She was asian. lol i dont know why i have strange dreams like that
Aug 24, 2008. 7:12 PMDr. Steel says:
You think THATS wierd? Once I had a dream where my girlfriend was a taco zombie. I ate her in the end of the series of dreams.
Sep 9, 2008. 7:35 PMguitarman63mm says:
Is that a cunnilingus reference?
Sep 12, 2008. 8:03 PMDr. Steel says:
Quite possibly, yes.
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Author:killerjackalope(My website)
A northern ireland based maker that likes breaking stuff as well as fixing it, of no fixed abode for now Working PR for a club in Belfast and freelance photography. I enjoy working with computers,...
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