Introduction: Instructions on How to Climb a Staircase


No one will have failed to observe that frequently the floor bends in such a way that one part rises at a right angle to the plane formed by the floor and then the following section arranges itself parallel to the flatness, so as to provide a step to a new perpendicular, a process which is repeated in a spiral or in a broken line to highly variable elevations.

Ducking down and placing the left hand on one of the vertical parts and right hand upon the the corresponding horizontal, one is in momentary possession of a step or stair.

Each one of these steps, formed as we have seen by two elements, is situated somewhat higher and further than the one prior, a principle which gives the idea of a staircase, while whatever other combination, producing perhaps more beautiful or picturesque shapes, would surely be incapable of translating one from the ground floor to the first floor.

Step 1: Parts


You
and a
set of stairs
arranged together
to make a staircase.

Step 2:


Tackle a stairway face on, for if you try it backwards or sideways, it ends up being particularly uncomfortable.

(The natural stance consists of holding yourself upright, arms hanging easily at the sides, head erect but not so much so that the eyes no longer see the steps immediately above, while one tramps up, breathing lightly and with regularity.)

Step 3:


To climb a staircase begin by lifting that part of the body located below and to the right, usually encased in leather or deerskin, and which, with a few exceptions, fits exactly on the stair.

Step 4:


Set down the said part on the first step (to abbreviate we shall call it “the foot”).

Step 5:


Draw up the equivalent part on the left side (also called “foot” but not to be confused with “the foot” cited above), and lift this other part to the level of “the foot,” so it continues along until it is set in place on the second step, at which point the foot will rest, and “the foot” will rest on the first.

(The first steps are always the most difficult, until you acquire the necessary coordination. The coincidence of names between the foot and “the foot” makes the explanation more difficult. Be especially careful not to raise, at the same time, the foot and “the foot.”)

Step 6:


Having arrived by this method at the second step, it's easy enough to repeat the movements alternately, until one reaches the top of the staircase.

Step 7:


You can now get off the staircase easily, with a light tap of the heel to fix it in place, to make sure it will not move until you are ready to come down.

Comments

author
tsturtevant (author)2013-07-24

Ehfang genious

author
TheDiyFan (author)2013-02-17

Wow! Now I can finally leave my bedroom and get something to eat. Oops! How do I get down now!!!!!!!!!! I can't get a grasp on how you place your foot while going down!!!!!!! Plz tell us how to go down plz!!!! Otherwise I'm up here forever!!!

author
rastita (author)2010-12-30

Please... Read to Cortazar. Is an Argentinian writer, who wrote this original Instructable....

author
apo1l0 (author)2009-11-21

Sweet, now I can up and out of my basement bedroom.  I thought that I was stuck down here for the rest of time.  Thank you so much for the instructable......  Now to go and practice this new skill. :D

author
todayandalways (author)apo1l02010-06-22

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAH

author
Oyarsa (author)2009-11-23

 Ok, so I followed your instructions carefully, and I finally go to see what the 2nd story of my house looks like! (I didn't know I had a kid) But when I got there, I forgot the tap to fix it in place and the stairs migrated south for the winter. Urgent help needed!!!! What do I do, because it's like a 15 foot drop onto cement from up here?

P.S. My kid keeps saying he has something called a "Cell Phone," whatever that is. What is this and could it help us get off of here? Please make an instructable on how to use this strange device.

author
Poogle (author)Oyarsa2010-05-11

hee hee hee

author
999592 (author)Oyarsa2009-11-25

 i love you people

author
muffinhead (author)9995922010-01-10

 What do you mean by "you people?" >:(

author
999592 (author)muffinhead2010-01-22

 what do you mean, "what do you mean you people?"

author
wenpherd (author)9995922010-03-04

What do mean," what do you mean, 'what do you mean you people?' "

author
AlfredoSG (author)wenpherd2010-03-30

 I think she meant: "what do you mean you people you people mean you?"

author
muffinhead (author)AlfredoSG2010-03-30

 No. You just killed it.

author
AlfredoSG (author)muffinhead2010-03-31

 I apologize. Sincerely.

author
muffinhead (author)AlfredoSG2010-03-31

 Pinky promise? D:

author
loppy96 (author)2010-03-30

Riveting absolutely riveting

author
ArtStockton (author)2010-03-04

This belongs in the Hitchhikers guide.

author
theexternaldisk (author)2010-02-26

Finally,  I know why I always fall of the stairs! So there is a difference between 'the foot' and 'foot'. I'm going to try this instructable right now!

author
spydercanopus (author)2010-01-04

 Whoa whoa, you skipped a step

author
il_pipe (author)2010-01-04

Amazing!

author
siedpe13 (author)2010-01-03

i would love to see more guides like this one, preferably one for beginners like myself. i personally dont have the time, and its even possible to consider that i just not might have the skill to climb stairs, but maybe if you could do an instructable for advanced-crawling or walking i would apprecieate it quite a bit.

thanks

author
ItsTheHobbs (author)2009-12-09

I have successfully mastered these stair climbing, but I can not quite figure out these "escalator" things. Help please?

author
jzrodriguez (author)2009-12-01

Sorry.... but.....  is this a translation of Julio Cortázar's short tale?

This is the original, in Spanish:

http://www.literatura.org/Cortazar/Instrucciones.html


author
absurdables (author)jzrodriguez2009-12-06

 yup! it is :) glad you also like Cortazar. We have set this clear before on the comments...

author
jzrodriguez (author)absurdables2009-12-07

ups, sorry, I didn't read it.

author
sodiumcanine (author)2009-11-27


 Climbing up stairs may be instinctive through life, Until
and knee injury {or other )makes it difficult. I found humor
 in this one! Made my knee feel better.

Thanks and,
Cheers upsurdables!

author
999592 (author)2009-11-25

 optional...whatever you feel most comfortable in

author
nagutron (author)2009-11-18

This is a very useful instructable for my robot, which I just implanted in a new host human body and doesn't know how to climb stairs.

author
Asmodeo (author)nagutron2009-11-19

It will absorb you, and will be able to go upstairs/downstairs, teaching to the collective at the same time .
Don't run!....Resistance is futile.

author
alphasmith (author)Asmodeo2009-11-19

Ah, yes . The borg catchline. Resistance is futile (if < one ohm).
Geek out!!

author
TyMan210 (author)alphasmith2009-11-19

 The other Borg catchline: "All your ship are belonging to us".

author
imnickjames13 (author)TyMan2102009-11-20

All your base are belong to us...

author
quellek2 (author)imnickjames132009-11-20

 i'm pretty sure he new that. memes can be altered young padiwan of the interwebs

author
quellek2 (author)quellek22009-11-20

 knew*

author
999592 (author)quellek22009-11-25

 all fail...collectively

author
TyMan210 (author)imnickjames132009-11-21

 I know what it is but, the Borg usually attack ships.

author
the_burrito_master (author)2009-11-20

ummmm I could  do this on my 1 1/2 birthday?

author

 ummmmmm... this was made for lulz.....not  really for informative purposes

author

people these days...thats a statement not a question lol

author
VagsmaCutter (author)harley_rly2009-11-22

Actually, I'm thinking that the statement was a question. And, "Why?" You might ask. Do you remember when you were 1 1/2? I don't remember if I could do that when I was 1 1/2. Heck, I just realized that, not only do I not remember my 1 1/2 birthday, I don't remember ANY of my 1/2 birthdays. So, instead of correcting potential grammatical errs, we should help a brotha (or sistah) out and tell them, "No, you couldn't do this on your 1 1/2 birthday. But you could fill up a diaper like nobody's business." After all, this is a community, and stuff.

author

We had a video camera back then XD, fail! one time I pushed the gate down the stairs and road it down the entire flight.

author

Just because you saw yourself doing it in a video doesn't mean you remember it.

author

did i ever say I remembered!! jeze!

author
ewfw (author)2009-11-24

What a wonderful past post modern age we live in.  Gives me hope for the future to know that no matter what the obstacle, there are brave individuals with the foresight and determination to not only conquer those obstacles for themselves, but then also freely share that valuable information with the world.  Bless you.  I look forward to learning more 

author
EcoMotive (author)2009-11-24

Great instructable but you may have forgotten that this is the 21st century and we are westerners.
Stairs are obsolete! You should have made an instructable on elevators. All new modern homes will likely have an elevator... or even a large ramp that you can drive your car up?

author
Orro (author)2009-11-23

lol

author
shabaki (author)2009-11-23

Ok so ive mastered the "stair" concept but now i still cant wrap my mind around  the " ramp " idea

author
knektek (author)2009-11-23

hmmmm......     after this i think that i can finally climb the stairs

author
madhops0620 (author)knektek2009-11-23

Just be careful, you should probably practice a little before diving right into it

author
Prosthetique (author)2009-11-23

Awesome.  Got any tips on climbing a ladder?

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