Instructables

No one will have failed to observe that frequently the floor bends in such a way that one part rises at a right angle to the plane formed by the floor and then the following section arranges itself parallel to the flatness, so as to provide a step to a new perpendicular, a process which is repeated in a spiral or in a broken line to highly variable elevations.

Ducking down and placing the left hand on one of the vertical parts and right hand upon the the corresponding horizontal, one is in momentary possession of a step or stair.

Each one of these steps, formed as we have seen by two elements, is situated somewhat higher and further than the one prior, a principle which gives the idea of a staircase, while whatever other combination, producing perhaps more beautiful or picturesque shapes, would surely be incapable of translating one from the ground floor to the first floor.
 
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Step 2:


Tackle a stairway face on, for if you try it backwards or sideways, it ends up being particularly uncomfortable.

(The natural stance consists of holding yourself upright, arms hanging easily at the sides, head erect but not so much so that the eyes no longer see the steps immediately above, while one tramps up, breathing lightly and with regularity.)

Step 3:


To climb a staircase begin by lifting that part of the body located below and to the right, usually encased in leather or deerskin, and which, with a few exceptions, fits exactly on the stair.
Ehfang genious
Hilarious
craftpro1 year ago
Wow! Now I can finally leave my bedroom and get something to eat. Oops! How do I get down now!!!!!!!!!! I can't get a grasp on how you place your foot while going down!!!!!!! Plz tell us how to go down plz!!!! Otherwise I'm up here forever!!!
rastita3 years ago
Please... Read to Cortazar. Is an Argentinian writer, who wrote this original Instructable....
apo1l05 years ago
Sweet, now I can up and out of my basement bedroom.  I thought that I was stuck down here for the rest of time.  Thank you so much for the instructable......  Now to go and practice this new skill. :D
AHAHAHAHAHAHHAH
Oyarsa5 years ago
 Ok, so I followed your instructions carefully, and I finally go to see what the 2nd story of my house looks like! (I didn't know I had a kid) But when I got there, I forgot the tap to fix it in place and the stairs migrated south for the winter. Urgent help needed!!!! What do I do, because it's like a 15 foot drop onto cement from up here?

P.S. My kid keeps saying he has something called a "Cell Phone," whatever that is. What is this and could it help us get off of here? Please make an instructable on how to use this strange device.
Poogle Oyarsa4 years ago
hee hee hee
999592 Oyarsa5 years ago
 i love you people
 What do you mean by "you people?" >:(
 what do you mean, "what do you mean you people?"
wenpherd 9995924 years ago
What do mean," what do you mean, 'what do you mean you people?' "
 I think she meant: "what do you mean you people you people mean you?"
 No. You just killed it.
 I apologize. Sincerely.
 Pinky promise? D:
loppy964 years ago
Riveting absolutely riveting
ArtStockton4 years ago
This belongs in the Hitchhikers guide.
Finally,  I know why I always fall of the stairs! So there is a difference between 'the foot' and 'foot'. I'm going to try this instructable right now!
 Whoa whoa, you skipped a step
il_pipe4 years ago
Amazing!
siedpe134 years ago
i would love to see more guides like this one, preferably one for beginners like myself. i personally dont have the time, and its even possible to consider that i just not might have the skill to climb stairs, but maybe if you could do an instructable for advanced-crawling or walking i would apprecieate it quite a bit.

thanks
ItsTheHobbs5 years ago
I have successfully mastered these stair climbing, but I can not quite figure out these "escalator" things. Help please?
jzrodriguez5 years ago
Sorry.... but.....  is this a translation of Julio Cortázar's short tale?

This is the original, in Spanish:

http://www.literatura.org/Cortazar/Instrucciones.html


absurdables (author)  jzrodriguez5 years ago
 yup! it is :) glad you also like Cortazar. We have set this clear before on the comments...
ups, sorry, I didn't read it.

 Climbing up stairs may be instinctive through life, Until
and knee injury {or other )makes it difficult. I found humor
 in this one! Made my knee feel better.

Thanks and,
Cheers upsurdables!
Llewner5 years ago
(removed by author or community request)
999592 Llewner5 years ago
 optional...whatever you feel most comfortable in
nagutron5 years ago
This is a very useful instructable for my robot, which I just implanted in a new host human body and doesn't know how to climb stairs.
It will absorb you, and will be able to go upstairs/downstairs, teaching to the collective at the same time .
Don't run!....Resistance is futile.
Ah, yes . The borg catchline. Resistance is futile (if < one ohm).
Geek out!!
 The other Borg catchline: "All your ship are belonging to us".
All your base are belong to us...
 i'm pretty sure he new that. memes can be altered young padiwan of the interwebs
 knew*
999592 quellek25 years ago
 all fail...collectively
 I know what it is but, the Borg usually attack ships.
ummmm I could  do this on my 1 1/2 birthday?
 ummmmmm... this was made for lulz.....not  really for informative purposes
people these days...thats a statement not a question lol
Actually, I'm thinking that the statement was a question. And, "Why?" You might ask. Do you remember when you were 1 1/2? I don't remember if I could do that when I was 1 1/2. Heck, I just realized that, not only do I not remember my 1 1/2 birthday, I don't remember ANY of my 1/2 birthdays. So, instead of correcting potential grammatical errs, we should help a brotha (or sistah) out and tell them, "No, you couldn't do this on your 1 1/2 birthday. But you could fill up a diaper like nobody's business." After all, this is a community, and stuff.
We had a video camera back then XD, fail! one time I pushed the gate down the stairs and road it down the entire flight.
Just because you saw yourself doing it in a video doesn't mean you remember it.
did i ever say I remembered!! jeze!
ewfw5 years ago
What a wonderful past post modern age we live in.  Gives me hope for the future to know that no matter what the obstacle, there are brave individuals with the foresight and determination to not only conquer those obstacles for themselves, but then also freely share that valuable information with the world.  Bless you.  I look forward to learning more 
EcoMotive5 years ago
Great instructable but you may have forgotten that this is the 21st century and we are westerners.
Stairs are obsolete! You should have made an instructable on elevators. All new modern homes will likely have an elevator... or even a large ramp that you can drive your car up?
Orro5 years ago
lol
shabaki5 years ago

Ok so ive mastered the "stair" concept but now i still cant wrap my mind around  the " ramp " idea

knektek5 years ago
hmmmm......     after this i think that i can finally climb the stairs
Just be careful, you should probably practice a little before diving right into it
Awesome.  Got any tips on climbing a ladder?
chilbert0075 years ago
I think it's really neat that you have taken the time to break down the steps involved in climbing steps. Makes one really appreciate the little things we take for granted everyday that sometimes need a closer look. I think you could have easily even gone into more detail with this to speak of which part of "the foot" makes contact with the next step. For example, does the heel of the foot or the ball touch the step first and you could address whether or not one is using a bit of a forward lean with the upper torso or walking upright from the hips and letting the movement extend from that more stable platform? Some things to think about. Great work.
Tommyhzy5 years ago
I can absolutely climb stairs perfectly now!
The only problem is that my eyes are extremely dry at the top, because you didn't tell me to blink. 
jtmax245 years ago
 OMG! I can't believe it I made it to the top of the stairs thanks to this instructable. You are a genius, can you now make an instructable on how to climb down. I tried going in reverse and ended up falling down. Concrete hurts.
jc817 jtmax245 years ago
It took stoop kid an entire episode of "hey arnold" to figure out how to get down.  I think in his memory, someone should definitely get on that followup instructable.
STOOP KID'S AFRAID TO LEAVE HIS STOOP!
STOOP KID'S AFRAID TO LEAVE HIS STOOP!

Good times, good times.
absurdables (author) 5 years ago
Thanks everyone for all the encouraging comments! We have to clarify once again that the text is by Julio Cortázar and this instructable was our attempt at celebrating this incredible story.
More absurdables will be added in the coming days, so check back with us soon!
Thanks a lot for a beatifull illustrated version of "Instrucciones...".
snazzyjazzy5 years ago
Darn it I keep getting 'the foot' confused with 'foot'! Curse you complicated climbing instructions!
BitFiber5 years ago
 that's not even funny
Poogle5 years ago
"Be especially careful not to raise, at the same time, the foot and “the foot.”"

:D
rust5 years ago
(removed by author or community request)
cuica rust5 years ago
Your humour chip is malfunctioning.
cheapchuck5 years ago
Thanks for the help, but what about those moving stairs at the mall?  I can't seem to use those without crashing my baby buggy!
Grathio5 years ago
 Fantastic!  Clearly described and great supporting photos!

I have a feeling I'm going to be referring to this one often, thanks!
h3llo415 years ago
uhhm, could you make an instructables on how to get down? I seem to be stuck on the 2nd floor of my house. I called the police but they dont know how to climb up either. I might have to jump for it...
WerdnaN5 years ago
I can finally know what's on the second story of my house!
Sazumo5 years ago
...Nice Nike's :)
hcancun5 years ago
Hello, only one question, is this amazing instructions  works similar in other lenguages ? (hahahahahaah) Greatings From Cancun Mexico
alphasmith5 years ago
yay! My parents have been no help at all in helping me with my stair-climbing ambitions. Now, I tackle stairs with ease and finesse without tripping and falling! Thank you, absurdables!
JerryMopar5 years ago
wow, after 18 years, i can finally go go up the stairs without having to don all of my armored motorcycling gear and athletic suspender w/cup!
GGShuffle5 years ago
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!
OMG ! I didn't knew how to do that ... Thank you so much !! I can now go upstairs without having to ask someone how to do .....
hishealer5 years ago
I love how you remind us all to breathe!
hishealer5 years ago
I once knew a hermit.  When I asked him why he is a hermit, he pointed to a sign above his front door featuring 4 step instructions on how to use a toothpick.  He told me there are ppl outside that door that need those instructions and that scares him too much.  I bet there are ppl that really needed these instructions too, and I don't mean these jokers in the comments section.  *shudders in fear*.... *hopes they are only joking*

Still I got a good chuckle from it!
minime123585 years ago
Thank you greatly!

I am currently waiting for sponsors so I can start doing this professionally. Im working on getting the top of the line foot and "the foot"

Thanks again.
Gage9875 years ago
yay now we can go upstairs
Gage987 Gage9875 years ago
how do we get down

I think sliding down is an option...
=SMART= Gage9875 years ago
OH NOOO HOW DO I GET DOWN !!!!! I NEED FOOD !! HELP MEEEEEE
I like your adaptation of "Instrucciones Para Subir una Escalera".
Here's a link to the piece by Julio Cortázar, if anyone hasn't read it
http://www.literatura.org/Cortazar/Instrucciones.html

Google translator rocks!!
 Hi! Thanks! Glad you enjoyed it.  Cortazar is one of my favorite authors and I've been meaning to play homage to him for a while. The original version in Spanish is definitely worth reading. 
Dang! I keep doing it wrong. I put "the foot" up and I just keep moving "the foot". I end up doing the splits and crying :'(
yokiatsu5 years ago
 I'm glad this has been given attention. when you stop and think about it, the staircase is one of the greatest inventions of all time.
louieaw5 years ago
You, my friend, are a genius. All my life, I have been pondering this question and its unattainable answer. I never knew of its simplicity! 
Now, I have the power to conquer any step that comes my way. 
randofo5 years ago
I am on top. Now what? I am thoroughly confused as to the goal of my presence here.

Urgent assistance needed!!!

(sent in despair from my internet)
fwjs28 randofo5 years ago
You too!! I thought it was just me in my stupidity..oh my these stair things are a bugger
Kaelessin5 years ago
ha ha! i love the style you wrote this in! perfectly imparts invaluable information . . .ingenious!  (whoa . . .almost alliteration . . . .should have used impeccably)
Binary01015 years ago
What about when you're drunk and it's 0'dark early in the morning? Please make tut!!
Groxx5 years ago
 Despite starting off with the foot instead of "the foot", I have successfully navigated several consecutive stairs in recent history, with much help from this tutorial.

I am now eagerly awaiting a sequel to this tutorial, so I may climb down stairs correctly instead of my current strategy of flailing around haphazardly until I find myself at the bottom.

(also, what should one do if the location-fixing-tap is forgotten, and the stairs migrate to a more favorable climate?)
 At last! Fantastic!
caitlinsdad5 years ago
Does it make a difference if I start off on "the wrong foot"? Sometimes I mistake one foot for the other and both my feet can be left or right still leaving me with two foots. 

Do provide warnings if you need to overcome obstacles in your way like drunken fools from the nearby bistro that end up splayed across your doorstep thus blocking the entrance.
Kiteman5 years ago
>chortle<
kelseymh5 years ago
Rated and featured.  And thank you so much for enlightening me; I was so confused about how to deal with these weird things! 

Have you seen the really freaky "stairs" (as you called them) that run away when you try to step on their steps?  I got so confused once, I grabbed the nearby "safety" rail, and it bit onto my hand and dragged me away with it!
leeski5 years ago
 This valuable insight will be put to use with my 2 year old on our treacherous deck steps....
Goodluck5 years ago
Pure genius! I love it!