Introduction: Iron Merkin

Don't really know how to introduce this. It is an idea I had during a random Terrible Things discussion, and then I just had to make one. Alcohol was involved in the discussion, although not in the making.

A merkin is a pubic hair wig. An Iron Maiden is a medieval torture device. The Iron Merkin is both of those things, or neither. It is a terrible product idea.

Step 1: The Merkin

I made the merkin itself out of 22 gauge steel. For the base, I cut a roughly triangular shape. For the "hair", I trimmed small pieces from scrap using tin snips, which tend to make the pieces curl as they cut. I welded the "hair" onto the base using a TIG welder, starting from the bottom and moving upwards. I held the "hairs" with a pair of pliers while welding them on. The base curved somewhat on its own from the heat applied just to the upper side of it, and I bent it slightly more by hand until it had a shape I liked.

Step 2: The Packaging

I wanted the thing to have a look of a product, and it seemed pretty straightforward to give it a cardboard base with marketing on it. I used Photoshop to cobble together something vaguely product-like, borrowing an image from Erika Tanith for the merkin model (thanks Erika!). I printed this (photo paper would have worked well but I didn't have any) and glued it to a piece of cardboard using spray glue, trimming it to size with a utility knife. I then put a laminating sheet over top to get the shininess (folding the edges around back, which is not how packaging normally works but Hey).

As you can see the merkin looks FANTASTIC on its package!

Step 3: Assembly

To attach the merkin to its backing, I used zip ties. I placed it where I wanted, then drew small marks for the holes the zip ties would go through. I cut the holes with a utility knife, pushed three zip ties through, and zipped them.

It looks so Producty! No Kickstarter coming, I promise.

Comments

author
GriffB (author)2017-07-30

Rachel you're a sick puppy! I like that in a woman!

author
vanweb (author)2014-12-19

But how does it stay attached it the "intended area"?

author
GriffB (author)vanweb2017-07-30

Hot glue? Ouch!

author
MoTinkerGNome (author)vanweb2014-12-20

CA glue?

author
YDandAss (author)2017-03-15

Dang, that's a tough gal there!

author
ShilpaAtwaal (author)2016-05-27

I think I might be
using

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ecodelight (author)2015-07-26

excuse me? What the hell are you doing and why? No, you won't be consulting merkineers to enhance your collective knowledge. You are an embarrassment!

author

Can someone make an iron mouth-kin to shut this individual up?

author

if you didn't neglect your fiancé and children by fuckjng around like this on here....

author
canida (author)2015-06-19

Oh, this was from YOU! Best Secret Satan gift of the year.

And excellent work on the packaging. People really thought it might be a product.

author
Gryndar (author)2015-03-26

Uh........hahahahaha. this made my day, thanks

author
TheAssemblagist (author)2015-02-26

This is absolutely brilliant and wonderful and we should all embrace Merkins. In my family, we are proud to be ah merkins. Thank you for making this. Thank you for sharing this. Thank you for being alive. This merkin made my day. I'll be making' more merkins, thanks to your inspiration. You are a credit all all makers, and we salute you.

author
Tat2Chicky81 (author)2015-01-30

Hahaha! The funniest comment on here,by Puma560: "I really don't think this should be on Instructables. Blah blah blah safe site for my children to view. Please don't spoil that by lowering to blah blah type of thing. It's unnecessary." REALLY!?! With all the other bullcrap that is visually disturbing &/or child endangering on the Internet, and she's going to say that!? About this!? Wow, this woman really needs to open her eyes a little bit more before she starts with demands/recommendations of such! Lol! It's not only something of a natural nature that effects everyone in the whole world at one/some point, pubic hair, but it's also...A JOKE!!! Damn.

author
katekocis (author)2015-01-22

Lol I didn't know there were such things as pubic hair wigs...or that they actually had a name. This is a very educational site!

author
wilwrk4tls (author)2015-01-13

While I don't think that this crosses too far, I do think that there should be an adult section for Instructables requiring age verification which would open up a whole new realm of project scopes. Very much separated, and yet in the same vein/format/etc.

author

Definitely one of my all time favorite instructables!

author
Rachael K (author)2014-12-29

Lol, does it come with a free tetanus shot? This could quite possible win for the weirdest, worstest, funniest, most confusing present ever given. Let me know if you make more, I might buy one for white elephant next year, hahaha!

author
Doctor90250 (author)2014-12-23

funniest thing ive ever seen on here. people use lol so loosely but i am still laughing out loud!

author
DSJesterXII (author)2014-12-23

The iron maiden was never a mediaeval torture device. It was created by a circus troupe for stunts, and they claimed it was a torture device, so all the idiot peasants believed them.

author
Blue Hawaii (author)2014-12-23

Very bold. Merkins for men, Ferkins for women and Gerkins for sandwiches.

author
jarikcbol (author)2014-12-22

This is just... alarming... on so many levels... good job?

author
Igioteno (author)2014-12-21

Ew

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nitsu2009 (author)2014-12-21

lol… love it.

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hardlydavidson (author)2014-12-20

ha ha. this is hilarious man!

author
jjdebenedictis (author)2014-12-20

Lol! Very rock and roll. :D

author
asbeaule (author)2014-12-20

Wow ! I'm at loss of words; this is just to brilliant

author
sheetmetalalchemist (author)2014-12-20

High Frikkin Five. hahahha.

author
Robibame (author)2014-12-20

Heeee Heeeee Heeee...... not at all disturbing. ... too funny.

author
cwolfe13 (author)2014-12-19

nice but isn't term merkin only used for male pubic wig while females ones are called something else

author
Mielameri (author)2014-12-19

This is absolutely horrific and hilarious all at the same time

author
Tecwyn Twmffat (author)2014-12-19

Love it!

author
jmwells (author)2014-12-19

I hate to think of those who might actually be in the market for this item.

author
grannyjones (author)2014-12-19

This idea is brilliantly SICK! Congratulations!

About This Instructable

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Bio: I run Neal's CNC in Hayward, CA, an expert CNC cutting and fabrication service. Check out what we do at http://www.nealscnc.com ... More »
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