Keep your beer from getting showered while in the shower Part 1: Make yourself smell like roses while stopping to smell them.

If you're smart and impatient, you can figure this out from the picture. If you are neither of those, or just want to be edified or entertained, feel free to read on.

This is my instructable, there are many like it, but this one is mine.


This guide applies to three of the larger truths I have discovered along the course of my cognitive existence:

Water is seldom too hot...
Music is seldom too loud...
Beer is seldom too cold...

...Especially when you're in the shower.

There was a time long ago when Monks got so tired of drinking water that they invented beer. These monks most likely took showers. My guess is that if they ever drank beer while in the shower, they were probably annoyed by the fact that it usually got some water in it. We can be almost certain the shower beer holder was invented shortly after.

For the past eight months I have been touring Asia with a Broadway musical. This has introduced me to many things:
Korean BBQ,  how to sit cross-legged on a hardwood floor without getting uncomfortable, the proper way to sell electronics, and, most importantly:  the astonishing lack of beverage holders in hotel showers.
I noticed many other things in life that could use changing, but I'm starting small, with the beer, and the shower.

Step 1: Require a shower.

This is not such an easy step to complete. To properly enjoy a beer in the shower, one needs to require showering. The easiest (and most fun) means for accomplishing this would be to take a page from five year olds everywhere and get well and truly dirty. Another method is to be stressed out and/or tired. This is by far the least desirable way to render yourself shower worthy. If you work in theatre, a load in will fulfill that first requirement nicely. Should you find yourself clean, unstressed, yet desiring a shower, I suggest finding a mud puddle and doing the mud puddle thing.

I could go into long and complicated mathematical proofs that help to illustrate the enjoyment coefficient of a cold beer in a hot shower with loud music, but I won't. The dirtier, the more tired, the more stressed, the more enjoyment to be had from simpler things like cold beer and hot shower. You needn't worry, this is shower, and this is beer. You'll know if you need one.

Comments

[dotancohen]

Beer, yes, but what about smokes?

[Grey_Wolfe]

That's what the umbrella hanger is for. :)

[Yerboogieman]

i know someone that smokes in the shower and manages not to get his ciggerette wet

[dotancohen]

If he's smoking in the shower and not getting the cigarette wet, then he's either showing improperly or smoking improperly.

[Yerboogieman]

i wouldnt know if he's doing it wrong, i dont look at other guys

[dotancohen]

Yeah, you only look at the smoker guy in the shower? :)

[RFilyaw]

Yeah, and a hamburger. I can't wait ten whole minutes to drink, smoke and eat when I get out of the shower. I need my fixes NOW

[whitish]

while your at in you probably should just make the burger in the shower. that would be a lengthy project... (and you could put a disposal in like Seinfeld!)

[ConcorX]

and a dvd player or video player so you can record seinfield.

[RFilyaw]

Oh damn, we need to waterproof a TV so we can watch Seinfeld in there, too!

[Grey_Wolfe]

I've seen TVs mounted is showers. It's put in through other side of wall with plexiglass in front of the screen.

[krowii]

Wouldn't the plexiglass get foggy from the shower steam?

[lasersage]

wouldn't a tv screen get foggy anyway? not sure how plexiglass makes this any worse

[DeusXMachina]

Once you've got the beer and the TV and the snacks, you have to implement a waterproof recliner with a hole in the middle of it, and upgrade your shower plumbing for erm...more strenuous uses. You'll never have to get up! (except to get more beer and food.

[0.775volts]

Beer's got what plants crave.

[justinwerden]

electrolytes?

[dark8587]

Idiocracy right? That's funny.

[golden snake]

BRAWNDO! the thirst mutilator! now im in the mood for a "Starbucks" lol

[23mcharlotte]

what kind of beer is that cause ive never seen it but major props on this instructable...P.S. this kind of clothes hanger is not found in the united states so how bought one that the americans can do.

[greenwing hero]

it's a kronenburg 1664. i'm not sure where they're made but we have adverts for them in the u.k

[0.775volts]

Try part two, you can use a wire clothes hanger for that one. You're right, I've not seen those clotheslines in american hotels. I'll have to wait until I land a domestic tour and see what I can come up with.

[GorillazMiko]

Awesome! Man, now I feel like drinking a Coke. :-(

[hornysasquatch]

...I LOVE YOU

[buttersnake]

Hahaha, i didn't know anyone else drank in the shower but me and my friend! A beer never seems colder and better than while hot water is running down your back!

[Drunkenlizard]

I've never seen kronenburg in a can before. I forget whether its a French beer of from Belgium. anyone know the answer?

[RFilyaw]

France

[hay_jumper]

Thumbs up. Essential reading.