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Kentucky Fried WTF on a stick

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Everything tastes like chicken. Even chicken fried steak tastes like chicken.
If you are lucky, You as the consumer, might find this cook's treat in your bucket. So What's That Fried thing?

Read on to see how we make this delectable morsel. In Original recipe or Extra Crispy.

Disclaimer: The author does not advise, relish or condone the preparation and consumption of mystery meat, but as TV foodie Andrew Zimmern says, "If it looks good, eat it."

and yeah, might I tempt you with  some finger food and assorted tapas?

Gee, I hope the People Eating Tasty Animals don't start  Fn commenting.

Bonus Menu Item!  For a limited time only!
I have a three month PRO membership coupon from being featured. For the first person that can post in the comments section a picture of them having created a "KFC double down sandwich" made with this instructable, I will pass on to  him/her the 3 month PRO membership.  Half the fun is convincing mom or dad to help. I figure that might make you happy as you recover in the emergency room after eating it.

UPDATE: And now there is the little morsel: Jalapeno Chili Pepper Screamers, check it out!

KFC is a registered trademark of a mega-corporation.  Don't mess with the Colonel.
 
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Step 1: Mystery meat

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Pick your roadkill protein source.  I think dinner was going to be pork tenderloin cutlets in a mushroom marsala sauce but It seemed to take a different turn.  If you are from Arkansas, skip this instructable and just head straight to the supper table.

You can use anything you have handy in the fridge.  Chicken, beef, alligator, bison, ostrich, rattlesnake, firm fish, kangaroo, quail, possum, squirrel, firm tofu, etc. will work.   You can even repurpose those chicken fingers in the freezer. Using SPAM would just be gross.

This recipe also requires:

pretzels in thin stick form

a few strands of cooked spaghetti

bamboo skewers for serving

for the breading:

egg beaten with a little water or milk

flour

breadcrumbs, you can also substitute cracker meal or crushed corn flake cereal or crushed corn or potato chips

fried chicken seasoning, your own rub or just salt/pepper, garlic and paprika, etc.

stuff for deep fat frying
   you might be able to get away with oven-frying, haven't tried it

Step 2: Sticks and bones

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Cut chunks of meat in a slightly triangular shape about 2 inches long.

Press flat to about 1/2 to 3/4 inch thickness.

With a sharp knife, cut 2 slits down each side of each piece to form the appendages for the arms and legs.

You can trim the head part to be more pointy.

Insert a pretzel stick all the way through to form the eyes.

Using a chopstick or one tine of a fork, pierce a hole into the meat where the pretzel "bone" will go.  Insert the pretzel into the meat.  Break off the excess to form a stubby arm or leg.

This brand of pretzel sticks is more fragile than other snack brands.  Don't use too much force to insert the pretzel stick.  Just enlarge the hole if needed.

Step 3: Pin the tail on the...

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Pierce a hole in the bottom of the "animal".

Insert a short strand of spaghetti.

Trim as needed.

Step 4: Breading

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Handle the "animal" with care.  The tail can fall out or you may break its bones.

You can use any classic recipe to bread the beast.

Season well with salt and pepper.

You can also season the flour.

Dust it all in flour.

Submerge it in the egg wash.

Gently coat all over with egg wash and then to the breadcrumb tank.

Gently coat all over with the breadcrumbs.

Use your fingers to add more egg wash and breadcrumbs to the tail joint for extra coating.

Step 5: Because I am the greatest fry chef...

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I would normally break out my super-fryer but it takes 4 quarts for an oil change, I'll just make this on the stovetop with a small skillet of oil.

If you are not an experienced fry-chef like Spongebob, be careful when doing deep-oil frying.

CAUTION:
Hot oil is extremely hot!
Any liquid will vaporize and spatter hot oil that can burn.
Be prepared when things go awry in event of smoke, fire, or explosion.

and
Being nekkid when deep-fat frying is generally not a good idea.

Preheat the oil until it gets to about 350-375 degrees F.

I am using canola oil.  High smoking point and non-hydrogenated, may be the only thing in this recipe good for you.

If you dip the tail in the oil and it starts to bubble, the oil should be hot enough.

Gently slide the beast into the hot oil.  Do not drop it in or splash the oil.

Depending on how deep the oil is, you may need to turn the beast over midway through cooking when it has browned on one side.  It may take about 10 minutes of frying.

Make sure the food is cooked totally through.  You may have to cut one open to see if you are not an experienced cook.

Step 6: Yum, yum...

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When cooked through, remove from the hot oil and drain excess oil on paper towels or a clean brown paper bag.

Skewer through each piece horizontally or vertically.

There you have it, Kentucky Fried WTF on a stick.

It looks so Fn good to eat.

Hmmm, recommended serving size is - whatever you can hold down?

I haven't figured out what wine to pair this with nor a nice side dish to go with this but probably beer and a good slaw would suffice.

Now that's some durn good eats!
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luisa29 months ago

I love this.

dojers9 months ago

Archery season just opened today....maybe I'll be getting to try this sooner than later!! *rubbing hands and cackling maniacally*

dojers9 months ago

Archery season just opened today....maybe I'll be getting to try this sooner than later!! *rubbing hands and cackling maniacally*

dojers9 months ago

I

FREAKING

LOVE

IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gonna try those lovely little Jalapeno screamers too :D My family will DEFINITELY enjoy those!!! Hell - they'll enjoy ALL of 'em!! Thank you!! You made me smile and that's important today :)

Toga_Dan1 year ago

Awesome! Time for party guests!

caitlinsdad (author)  Toga_Dan1 year ago

Oooh, wait, I know how to get the party started. Give them something to talk about...

rodents of unusually large size? daleks without their metal armor stuff? homer simpson? that annoying teenager who tears up the road while playing obscene music in his car a two in the morning? the mind boggles at all of the possibilities. oh, i forgot ewoks and jawas.
It looks like you fried a deformed mouse
Deep frying veggies should be what they do to ALL veggies
Meat is a very important sores of a HEALTHY DIET
People Eat Tasty Animals
haha that is so cool :)
ljohnson212 years ago
I don't eat meat so I find this totally disgusting! I LOVE IT! Going to have to addapt this to a veggie recipe!!
that looks AWESOME, Where did the idea come from.
mg99902 years ago
You sir, have a very Dark sense of humor.. And i like it :) great job
This is hysterical!
WriterChick2 years ago
Markedly amusing. Too much cooking pour moi, but a hoot.

It's not just Arkansas, you know ...
ltyson2 years ago
Extremely unrelated question but, that knife in the picture, is that a MAC knife?
caitlinsdad (author)  ltyson2 years ago
Nah, just an inexpensive santoku chef knife with a granton edge although I've got my Henckels for the fun days in the kitchen. The dimples don't really help when slicing through mozzarella cheese. I've used the Kyocera ceramic ones I won in a contest, they don't do well with slicing slippery meats.
I love this. I need to make an occasion to serve this to all of my friends.
AshleighLm3 years ago
That is grossly awesome!
IronWill3 years ago
this is brilliant!!
love it
edina20153 years ago
At first I thought you honestly fried a rat, nice.
caitlinsdad (author)  edina20153 years ago
ummm, that would be kinda nasty.
MicioGatta3 years ago
LOL! Shrek's style! Congratulations, that's very original.
h88643 years ago
Ostrich is delicious.
thepelton3 years ago
That would work equally well for Halloween or April Fool's day.
susanrm3 years ago
I think I need to make a vegan version of this. Great starting point. ROFL!
FrozenIce3 years ago
interesting....
Dr.Bill3 years ago
I'm laughin' my freakin ass off here ! I can't stop ! Ya ever tried the water rats they get in South Jersey ? Those things could be roasts ! This is wayyy too much for me. The Jim Beam didn't help either.....
I give ya a 5+ on this.
Dr.Bill3 years ago
O M F G ! Kentuckey Fried WTF On A Stick ! This is wayyy too much for my devious mind. You mind if I copy one of the pics and send it to my Viet Nam Vet friends ? It brings back sooo many memories of those street vendors selling Meat On A Stick. Arrr ! Rat Katsu ! mMMmm !
Congrats! You just made me spit my drink all over my keyboard. I was reading and I was thinking "that looks good..." then I spied the tail and "wtf" at almost the same time. You sir (or ma'am) are awesome!
80$man3 years ago
Yummy! This is awesome! Must make tiny deep fried meaty monstrosities!
Mutantflame3 years ago
I am so gonna try this tomorrow...
I made it! The tails kept snapping off though...
I used beef

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caitlinsdad (author)  Mutantflame3 years ago
Ha! They look like wittle fluffy gerbils. Beef does take longer to cook because of more juices(blood) the tail gets burnt to a crisp by the time you are done. They are heavier and the tails do break off easy if you do not use a thick noodle tail, maybe pre-cook the pasta to before al dente stage. Thanks for sharing.
nbollard3 years ago
awesome.... defo gonna try this!!!
I sooo want to make these for April Fool's days/Halloween!
lol
MrSushi4 years ago
Thumbs up! awesome contribution, will try it! :-)
The title made me literally laugh out loud... awesome 'ible...
zinc725 years ago
i know what i'm taking to lunch the fist day of school.
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