Do you harbor a not-so-secret nostalgia for Super Mario Brothers? A deep, greasy love for bacon? Do you keep watch for hidden coins and magic mushrooms? Then prove your side-scrolling street cred by taking on an entire army of Koopa Troopas in their final-boss bacon turtle burger form. You don't have to leave home, much less take a ride in a flying castle.
Make these Koopa Troopa Bacon Turtle Burgers for your next game night, with 1Up Mushroom Burgers for the vegetarians, Piranha Plant cupcakes for dessert, and any of these super awesome Mario-themed decorations.
Where did this idea come from? My friend Ishan had seen bacon turtle burgers floating around on the internet, and we decided they clearly needed to be taken to the next level as Koopa Troopas. I've improved the instructions to a) use a normal-sized burger, b) actually look like a turtle, and c) have a sweet (and throwable) Koopa Troopa turtle shell. What could be better?
3 pounds ground beef
burger seasonings of your choice (I used fresh-grated garlic, salt, pepper, and chili powder)
1 pound bacon
1 pack hot dogs
food coloring (your choice of brightly-colored but likely-carcinogenic Red #5 as pictured here, or more natural varieties)
8 hamburger buns (light-colored bread tops best)
paintbrush (for food color application)
baking sheet with sides (to catch fat drips)
baking rack that fits onto your baking sheet (optional but a VERY smart idea)
instant-read meat thermometer (optional but again a VERY smart idea)
Mix your preferred seasonings into your ground beef, then form into roughly 1/3-pound patties. You should get 8-9 patties from 3 pounds of ground beef.