Kung-Fu Talking Jesus and Bald Baby Buddha Buddy

Mash-ups are all the rage these days. Taking a bunch of things and smushing them all together is much more than just your mother's recipe for casserole: it is an unharnessed recipe for placing power in dangerous hands. Dangerous, dangerous hands.

Now Jesus has a bunch of powers to start with. He can be your friend. He can walk on water. He can even kill vampires. But despite all of his powers, Jesus cannot do kung-fu.

Ok, apparently he can. A quick google search revealed this pretty clearly, both in this case and this one too.

Whatever. This Kung-Fu Jesus fits in your pocket. You'll know that Jesus is always there to protect you.

As with all crazy projects, there are side effects. Crazy, alliterative side effects. Not only did we create a no-holds-barred evangelist, we made a bald baby sculpture who resembles Buddha. Strangely, Buddha is wearing Jesus' old digs.

Step 1 Find Jesus (and other supplies)

After some serious searching, I found Jesus...and purchased him. Search your local $1 stores and various religious sundry items bargain bins.

The kung-fu baby, on the other hand, was much easier to come by. One word: Walgreens. Feel free to pick up any necessary personal items while shopping for your kung-fu baby.

You'll also need a box-cutter, hot glue, and a bit of fabric such as an old t-shirt.

Comments

[Advar]

*gasp* okay... LOVE THIS! I understand how/ why people feel offened, and I'm non-religious (agnostic, atheist, pick a label). It's the IDEA of it and the project, not taking it as an "I intend to offend" thing. A Chuck Norris or Wednesday Aadams figure would work too. I'm not making light of anyone's feelings, just saying it's a nifty idea in and of itself. Thanks, Jaques.

[mrmerino]

I'm not even Christian and I'm a little offended

[mrmerino]

That's about the least-used sentence in the English language.

[technosasquatch]

pure awesome, I'd have to figure out how to change the voice tho.

[nokairen]

sir I think its kinda offensive, you could just make something out of other people but not to persons who inspire lots of nations like Buddha and Jesus. thanks for your understanding

[DJ Radio]

OH WHO CARES IF IT OFFENDS PEOPLE? Other than the offended of course.

[XylophonicMonkey]

Well I don't know about you but I would much rather have had a kungfu trashtalking buddy christ than the usual "dinosaurs are something the commies invented" colouring books that they always sold at church.
Not to mention that it makes sense, who else can walk on water fly and/or flip out? Ninjas can!

[ilpug]

i agree. this is awesome. religious or not, its very creative.

[porcupinemamma]

I agree with nokairen.

[DeusXMachina]

I would imagine the most supreme and powerful, not to mention forgiving, being of the universe, would have a supreme and powerful sense of humor. :-P

[phant0m_sp00f3ra]

I agree with you

[dsman195276]

it's not really that bad. yes, it would have been nice if he would have used someone else for the model but just because he is using Jesus does not mean he is making fun of him.

[acidbass]

lol kung fued

[piperjon]

Jesus walked the earth as a man, and in all likelyhood had feelings, a sense of humor, enjoyed food, had sore feet after a day of carpenter work, and all that other good stuff.  I doubt He'd mind the mash up.

The original Buddha, Siddharta Gautama, was a well known prankster in his youth and loved to laugh, and would have found this to be HYSTERICAL in all likelyhood.

Bonus Philosophical Mashup Statement: If you meet the Buddha in the road, don't kill him, recycle him as Jesus! 

[UltraMagnus]

lol! kung fu jewish zombie!

[sabarblatoe]

HAHAHAHAHA... Thats good....I call Easter "Zombie Jesus Day". Folks dont seem to like it much.

[Duct Tape Dude]

Well that's better than teaching children about a fatass pink rabbit that hides eggs....at least you're recognising Jesus (I bet $5 you read Cyanide & Happiness...)

[Enclaine]

Dude great Instructable!! Maybe you should have a franchise of Jesus items like Jesus Cellphones, Jesus Tesla Coil, Jesus Laser and maybe Jesus Socks!!

[Ltcheesecracker]

wow.. uhhh well.....

[Wafflicious]

I do this with power rangers and army men lol.

[chicKintAco]

Awesome. 5/5 for you sir

[AnarchistAsian]

cool, this was at the austin maker fair!

[ve2vfd]

Wow!!! Now what you need is a 1970's GI-Joe with "Kung-fu grip". Heck he already looks like Jesus! Just add robes, and he's ready to kick arse!

[xenor]

He actually looks a bit like Chuck Norris.

[bounty1012]

whats kung fu grip?

[Brother_D]

Kung Fu grip is what all the G.I. Joes have. Its so they can grab onto their weapons and stuff.

[bounty1012]

ahh I knew that :D

[emuman4evr]

Looks more like Osama Binladen, better stick that infront of da jeesus.

[bounty1012]

yeah he does just needs a turban

[firesketch]

Nice man... and sorta twisted. But is still nize : D

[bounty1012]

you need to fix the voice so it sounds like it would be jesus. favorited.

[merseyless]

*wakes up*
hmm what am I going to do today?
hmmm...
! i know !
ill decapatate kung fu baby and buddy jesus and swap their heads!
!!!
omg i should post this on the Internet for the world to see!
!!!

seriously though nice Instructable fav

[paulplaysguitar]

I love this. 5/5

[andrew13]

tell me, how is this offensive. i am a christian, and proud of it. it offends me that it offends other people. because of you people that think it is "offensive" to put peoples beliefs on the internet, you are one of the reasons there isnt peace on earth. if you respected other peoples beliefs, i think everyone would get along better. So just because you dont like it, doesnt mean you have to go and wright a comment about your beliefs.

[zjharva]

lol! i saw that kung fu baby at walgreens a couple weeks ago. this is hilarious!

[dsman195276]

i don't really have anything to say about this except it i kinda weird. but i can see you did not try to make this offensive, and i don't really see it as offensive because it is just a moving doll of jesus(keep in mind that no one knows what jesus looked like). it's not mocking him or saying he did not exist or anything, so i'm fine with it.

[xACIDITYx]

This seems like it may be interpreted as offensive to some people. That's why I love it.

[xACIDITYx]

And the video was the funniest thing in the entire universe.

[Phil B]

Yes, I do think it is on the verge of being offensive. Jesus is someone very important to me and whom I can genuinely say I love. He is my savior. If this were about Allah, the author of this Instructable would be wondering if Salmon Rushdie needs a roommate. So, why is it OK to make fun of Jesus? And to think the people who run this site gave it featured status!

[derrekito]

I don't see anything wrong with a Kung Fu Jesus. I think it's pretty cool. Since you didn't actually list what exactly you find offensive, I must tread into assumptions. Jesus is said to be non violent however, many people around the world who practice the martial arts are indeed nonviolent. In the end I find this to be an instructable in that ends up being whatever it is you intend it to be, good or bad. Be positive and look at it under such a light, and it can be a good thing - and of course the reverse is true. If you don't like the Kung Fu idea, perhaps you can take the information here and build yourself a regular old Jesus.