Now Jesus has a bunch of powers to start with. He can be your friend. He can walk on water. He can even kill vampires. But despite all of his powers, Jesus cannot do kung-fu.
Ok, apparently he can. A quick google search revealed this pretty clearly, both in this case and this one too.
Whatever. This Kung-Fu Jesus fits in your pocket. You'll know that Jesus is always there to protect you.
As with all crazy projects, there are side effects. Crazy, alliterative side effects. Not only did we create a no-holds-barred evangelist, we made a bald baby sculpture who resembles Buddha. Strangely, Buddha is wearing Jesus' old digs.
Step 1: Find Jesus (and other supplies)
The kung-fu baby, on the other hand, was much easier to come by. One word: Walgreens. Feel free to pick up any necessary personal items while shopping for your kung-fu baby.
You'll also need a box-cutter, hot glue, and a bit of fabric such as an old t-shirt.