Now Jesus has a bunch of powers to start with. He can be your friend. He can walk on water. He can even kill vampires. But despite all of his powers, Jesus cannot do kung-fu.
Ok, apparently he can. A quick google search revealed this pretty clearly, both in this case and this one too.
Whatever. This Kung-Fu Jesus fits in your pocket. You'll know that Jesus is always there to protect you.
As with all crazy projects, there are side effects. Crazy, alliterative side effects. Not only did we create a no-holds-barred evangelist, we made a bald baby sculpture who resembles Buddha. Strangely, Buddha is wearing Jesus' old digs.