Lads: How to deal with girls on the internet.

 by killerjackalope
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After a member here complained about attacks and mean spirited jokes about the fact that she was a girl on this site I thought this may be a good idea... The original thread.

So here it goes, a guide to dealing with women on the internet, without making an ass out of yourself or your gender.

Ok a few edits and points to be made are in order. First off I'm a Dude - which in reality makes this all the worse, it's embarrassing to us lot, unfortunately some people can't help themselves...

One point people, I'm not in the habit of white knighting...

Second after some discussions with girls in both life and via comments etc. I've had general agreement on the points but more elaboration needed, also to make sure you remember they are people, you can talk to them nice and normal, it won't cause you any trouble...
 
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Step 1: First instincts and reactions.

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Ok now as pre-pubescent horn balls just oozing with long pent up frustration you're probably going to do one of two things.

You might find yourself rolling around on the floor drooling while intermittently asking her to date/touch you while calling her pretty. No! Down boy, this is naughty and bad.

If you alternatively find yourself typing sexist jokes and slurs while calling her rude names and insulting them in some way you are no better than the greasy little hornballs that needed to go to the toilet after realizing this.

Instead of this consider being a normal person and reacting as you would normally *odd fact, there are more girls than you think on the internet, they just don't let people like you know.*
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Hack42Moem says: Jul 10, 2012. 12:24 AM
Well done! Now all we need is a manual for how to treat boys on the internet. ;-)
vov35 says: Jul 3, 2012. 8:08 PM
If all else fails, remember: there are no women on the internet.

Not to be sexist, but rather because the gender of the poster is utterly irrelevant.
ArtisanEclectic says: May 3, 2012. 7:59 PM
I have pages on Pinterest and etsy. Where estimates are that only 5-10% of the population has genitalia external, So I can verify that there are a LOT of women on the internet. And, sexism aside, a lot of them ARE looking up new apron designs and dishcloths. xD
killerjackalope (author) in reply to ArtisanEclecticMay 4, 2012. 5:06 AM
Cool, I think, best make me some apron designs, this was in response to a specific issue and should be taken as a little tongue in cheek, funny I just signed up to pinterest, should be interesting to see the community...
supersoftdrink says: Mar 13, 2012. 7:16 PM
Girls on the internet? What??? Females don't actually exist. Blizzard removed them in the last patch.
killerjackalope (author) in reply to supersoftdrinkMar 14, 2012. 5:59 AM
Aye, this has been left up to remind people that bug reports don't go unchecked...
jamie whitesell says: Mar 25, 2011. 8:54 AM
to be ohnost im actually looking for a gf and well still no luck
EngineerJakit says: Jul 10, 2011. 11:59 PM
If there were three kinds of people that really need a slap to the melon just for saying bad things to and about anyone on any kind of subject, they would probably be, 1. trolls. 2. The horndogs you're talking about. and 3. Nancy Grace of Fox News.
cody316 says: Oct 18, 2010. 10:09 AM
...in all honesty guys... i just clicked on this instructable cuz the redhead at the begginings hot
ramuravi in reply to cody316Mar 5, 2011. 9:19 PM
am also like that
Alzeido says: Aug 1, 2010. 7:03 PM
HAHAHAHA epic rage paragraph at the end there man. but there is something wrong about your instructable. girls who hate you for making a sexist joke or asking if they're a middle-aged manshouldnt be on the internet. its a fact that sexist jokes are made for fun to all women. and if you get asked about being a middle aged man. its not offensive its just making sure that if you become good enough friends to meet up in person you wont get raped. simple. otherwise good instrujctable
killerjackalope (author) in reply to AlzeidoAug 1, 2010. 7:33 PM
The Instructable is supposed to be a joke in alot of ways, one thing is that I make a simply obscene number of sexist jokes in a day. Thanks for not making me read another white knight comment, the Internet's sense of humour has a few dents lately
Alzeido in reply to killerjackalopeAug 1, 2010. 8:14 PM
well in that case you shouldnt be the one doing the manual labour (reading) thats a womans job ;) on another, random note. the people that call thewmselves geeks arn't. a real geek builds/progras/codes computers/software like me, but i make maps for games (primarily CSS) since its more fun :D dont ask why i said that because i cba to explain... because idk why /b/
Jekotia in reply to AlzeidoFeb 6, 2011. 12:29 AM
Your definition of geek is precise to a fault. You're essentially defining geek as the computer elite and decrying everyone else as fakes.

Geeks can be of any skill level, and within the realm of technology, be of any interest. Geeks are those that take interest and pleasure in the use, creation, and pursuit of technology, to name a few. Geek defines a very broad range of people, and it's the elitist like you that poison society's perception of technology enthusiasts.
milothefultz in reply to AlzeidoSep 25, 2010. 3:25 PM
"the people that call thewmselves geeks arn't"
"a real geek builds/progras/codes computers/software like me"

We have a real paradox here.
cody316 says: Oct 18, 2010. 10:05 AM
I thought a chick worte this and then i realized something.... A CHICK ON THE INTERNET?!?! IT CANT BE! lmao, just kidding girls ;) stay out of trouble
killerjackalope (author) in reply to cody316Oct 18, 2010. 12:10 PM
God you are just the height of wit aren't you...
chrisre cat says: Aug 2, 2010. 8:32 PM
It is not that I think less of women on the internet it is just stupid people in general on the internet so am I so wrong
killerjackalope (author) in reply to chrisre catAug 2, 2010. 8:51 PM
I have a specific blame system for the Internet, once fully evolved I'll reverse engineer it and fix the problem, or, this is a very likely or, just continue around the net leaving trails of confusing irrelevant yet important looking stuff. This involves donning a commanding hat no doubt.
startree says: May 13, 2010. 3:11 PM
LMAO here, thanks that was really cute! i have to admit to liking my geek girl status, and must say i've never come across any of the dude behaviour you've described in your ible over my years online. Maybe i've been lucky - or could be that i've always chosen gender neutral nicknames...
killerjackalope (author) in reply to startreeMay 14, 2010. 5:47 AM
A lot of it seems to be subjective, this was supposed to be quite light hearted though, in response to a certain incident, got a lot of nasty PMs over it, apparently the ones that would be annoying girls get upset and start the white knighter abuse... Ah well such as life...

 
andieXcandie says: Nov 18, 2009. 2:39 PM
lol 
abadfart says: Jul 24, 2009. 12:52 PM
Dont date people you meet on the internet i tend to draw the psychopaths
M!dn!8ht_Sun says: Jun 18, 2009. 9:24 AM
LOL
spiritwolf7984 says: Jun 14, 2009. 11:11 PM
A Person I know From The Intenwebz Said

G uy I n R eal L ife

Actually 90% of the people who I meat on the internet are girls they Just Hate The Sexist comments so they useually won't tel you till you know them better

Hopefully Over Time That will Change and im sure your Ibie Helped Alot
Ormazd says: Apr 8, 2009. 10:59 PM
I have to agree on this, and i don't think that there are fewer girls on the net, most of my IM and social site contacts and friends are girls. I think that is a matter of interest, most girls are not as geeky, only some, but the net is a huge universe by itself, so even most guys i know are not as interested in tech as i am, but there is a place for anyone in here, we only need basic education to get along
iovitanc says: Mar 12, 2009. 7:20 AM
i liked your tutorial; fortunately never being offended because of my gender; and i don't know any girl that doesn't use internet a lot, is it that in other areas they don't like it that much?
N1CK4ND0 says: Mar 11, 2009. 4:09 PM
Indeed. I find my own friends doing it quite frequently and it actually annoys me. Also, that pic is crazy. I have no clue how they did that lol.
irinazcona says: Feb 7, 2009. 9:44 AM
cute
Sandisk1duo says: Jan 16, 2009. 10:34 PM
linx don't work
fixxon1972 says: Jan 10, 2009. 1:09 PM
good so far, you gone from calling them women to nerdy girls... lol
RetroPlayer says: Oct 7, 2008. 9:00 AM
(removed by author or community request)
JAKEjones1 in reply to RetroPlayerJan 9, 2009. 7:00 AM
i agree. i think that as long as thier not trying to find out your adress and kill you, then dont worry about what ppl say !
A good name in reply to RetroPlayerOct 11, 2008. 10:17 AM
AY! CUT THE CRAP! It's harder on the internet. You can't call the cops on the people. You try saying "Can I have nudes" to someone randomly on the street. They'll beat you with their purse while simultaneously screaming for the cops.
RetroPlayer in reply to A good nameOct 15, 2008. 3:40 AM
(removed by author or community request)
Brother_D in reply to RetroPlayerOct 27, 2008. 4:40 PM
Better yet, there's a big red x on top of your screen if you don't like what you're seeing on the internet.
deccctv-Tracy in reply to RetroPlayerOct 7, 2008. 3:59 PM
some people on the internet always begin a sex topic directly. i don't think it is a good way.
Lithium Rain in reply to RetroPlayerOct 7, 2008. 10:06 AM
Also, this was not featured, it was actually voted popular. So the community likes it.
Lithium Rain in reply to RetroPlayerOct 7, 2008. 9:02 AM
Perhaps if someone were sexually harassing you and making disgusting comments and would not leave you alone, you would take this seriously.
Berkin in reply to Lithium RainJan 9, 2009. 6:18 AM
I would. Whenever I go on a new chat room, I am almost always bombarded with IM's from desperate low-lives, asking for personal information... and I can tell by their screen names they are most possibly females.
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