Introduction: Lads: How to Deal With Girls on the Internet.

Picture of Lads: How to Deal With Girls on the Internet.

After a member here complained about attacks and mean spirited jokes about the fact that she was a girl on this site I thought this may be a good idea... The original thread.

So here it goes, a guide to dealing with women on the internet, without making an ass out of yourself or your gender.

Ok a few edits and points to be made are in order. First off I'm a Dude - which in reality makes this all the worse, it's embarrassing to us lot, unfortunately some people can't help themselves...

One point people, I'm not in the habit of white knighting...

Second after some discussions with girls in both life and via comments etc. I've had general agreement on the points but more elaboration needed, also to make sure you remember they are people, you can talk to them nice and normal, it won't cause you any trouble...

Step 1: First Instincts and Reactions.

Picture of First Instincts and Reactions.

Ok now as pre-pubescent horn balls just oozing with long pent up frustration you're probably going to do one of two things.

You might find yourself rolling around on the floor drooling while intermittently asking her to date/touch you while calling her pretty. No! Down boy, this is naughty and bad.

If you alternatively find yourself typing sexist jokes and slurs while calling her rude names and insulting them in some way you are no better than the greasy little hornballs that needed to go to the toilet after realizing this.

Instead of this consider being a normal person and reacting as you would normally *odd fact, there are more girls than you think on the internet, they just don't let people like you know.*

Step 2: Being Appropriate.

Picture of Being Appropriate.

OK, now I know some will want to make knobs of themselves and leave a message/comment saying you're very pretty and that's all. This is both pointless and stupid, not to mention it probably gets repetitive for them. If you have nothing else to say you have nothing to say, got it?

Try not to make a joke about their anatomy, in fact just don't, you shouldn't have to try not to.

Don't ask invasive and annoying questions just because they happen to be a female, the internet is a vast place, some of the information you seek is out there, some things are best left unasked.

You can however engage them in normal conversation and they will respond in normal ways, you could make a joke about how few girls there are about the internet, as long as you phrase it sensibly, examples being:

- Man this place was a sausage-fest before you showed up
- Wow, chick on the internet, bet you're lost (this one is a double whammy of idiocy, see there's a bit of chauvinism in there too, best left unused)
- Are you really a middle aged man?

Really it's not the best of jokes anyway but made appropriately or as an actual comment I suppose it's not that bad, but again it's probably very repetitive at the end of the day.

Step 3: In Practice...

Picture of In Practice...

So now you've learned that it's not ok to abuse girls for being girls on the internet why don't you try these skills out, mind you some people might well have to give you a good slap now and again to keep you on track...

Also the consequences of abusive behaviour on this and many community sites is usually banning, it's just a no tolerance policy, mainly because to level off the number of females to males on the internet would be good for everyone, again there are plenty out there but they might have other interests compared to us lads. No that doesn't mean they're looking up new apron designs and dishcloths, remember? No more of that sexism young man.

By the way a guy wrote this, one whose not too old to be a hornball and one whose smart enough not to be a greasy little wretch who consists almost exclusively of cheese and hot pockets, beyond that I have the mental capacity to go beyond your mother jokes and manage not to start every sentence with them. Some day you might stop playing WOW and get a life, slowly becoming human again. If it doesn't happen soon it's best you should no that you're part of the first group being forced to become functioning members of society when I become ruler, any defiances will be met with the troublemakers being thrown in the badger pit. By the way I added eels to it this morning, now it's slimy and deadly.


Moem (author)2012-07-10

Well done! Now all we need is a manual for how to treat boys on the internet. ;-)

deastcott (author)Moem2016-01-21

talk slow and with small words?

jputnam3 (author)2015-12-30

I agree with most thing said here.. well done

WandaLee21 (author)2015-06-09

Some powerful stuff written here, I can agree with some of the factors, like manners and being polite!

Jarem20 (author)2014-08-05

Girls on the internet? What??? Females don't actually exist. Blizzard removed them in the last patch.

jmyers23 (author)2013-07-12


vov35 (author)2012-07-03

If all else fails, remember: there are no women on the internet.

Not to be sexist, but rather because the gender of the poster is utterly irrelevant.

ArtisanEclectic (author)2012-05-03

I have pages on Pinterest and etsy. Where estimates are that only 5-10% of the population has genitalia external, So I can verify that there are a LOT of women on the internet. And, sexism aside, a lot of them ARE looking up new apron designs and dishcloths. xD

Cool, I think, best make me some apron designs, this was in response to a specific issue and should be taken as a little tongue in cheek, funny I just signed up to pinterest, should be interesting to see the community...

supersoftdrink (author)2012-03-13

Girls on the internet? What??? Females don't actually exist. Blizzard removed them in the last patch.

Aye, this has been left up to remind people that bug reports don't go unchecked...

EngineerJakit (author)2011-07-10

If there were three kinds of people that really need a slap to the melon just for saying bad things to and about anyone on any kind of subject, they would probably be, 1. trolls. 2. The horndogs you're talking about. and 3. Nancy Grace of Fox News.

jamie whitesell (author)2011-03-25

to be ohnost im actually looking for a gf and well still no luck

cody316 (author)2010-10-18 all honesty guys... i just clicked on this instructable cuz the redhead at the begginings hot

ramuravi (author)cody3162011-03-05

am also like that

Alzeido (author)2010-08-01

HAHAHAHA epic rage paragraph at the end there man. but there is something wrong about your instructable. girls who hate you for making a sexist joke or asking if they're a middle-aged manshouldnt be on the internet. its a fact that sexist jokes are made for fun to all women. and if you get asked about being a middle aged man. its not offensive its just making sure that if you become good enough friends to meet up in person you wont get raped. simple. otherwise good instrujctable

killerjackalope (author)Alzeido2010-08-01

The Instructable is supposed to be a joke in alot of ways, one thing is that I make a simply obscene number of sexist jokes in a day. Thanks for not making me read another white knight comment, the Internet's sense of humour has a few dents lately

Alzeido (author)killerjackalope2010-08-01

well in that case you shouldnt be the one doing the manual labour (reading) thats a womans job ;) on another, random note. the people that call thewmselves geeks arn't. a real geek builds/progras/codes computers/software like me, but i make maps for games (primarily CSS) since its more fun :D dont ask why i said that because i cba to explain... because idk why /b/

Jekotia (author)Alzeido2011-02-06

Your definition of geek is precise to a fault. You're essentially defining geek as the computer elite and decrying everyone else as fakes.

Geeks can be of any skill level, and within the realm of technology, be of any interest. Geeks are those that take interest and pleasure in the use, creation, and pursuit of technology, to name a few. Geek defines a very broad range of people, and it's the elitist like you that poison society's perception of technology enthusiasts.

milothefultz (author)Alzeido2010-09-25

"the people that call thewmselves geeks arn't"
"a real geek builds/progras/codes computers/software like me"

We have a real paradox here.

cody316 (author)2010-10-18

I thought a chick worte this and then i realized something.... A CHICK ON THE INTERNET?!?! IT CANT BE! lmao, just kidding girls ;) stay out of trouble

killerjackalope (author)cody3162010-10-18

God you are just the height of wit aren't you...

chrisre cat (author)2010-08-02

It is not that I think less of women on the internet it is just stupid people in general on the internet so am I so wrong

I have a specific blame system for the Internet, once fully evolved I'll reverse engineer it and fix the problem, or, this is a very likely or, just continue around the net leaving trails of confusing irrelevant yet important looking stuff. This involves donning a commanding hat no doubt.

startree (author)2010-05-13

LMAO here, thanks that was really cute! i have to admit to liking my geek girl status, and must say i've never come across any of the dude behaviour you've described in your ible over my years online. Maybe i've been lucky - or could be that i've always chosen gender neutral nicknames...

killerjackalope (author)startree2010-05-14

A lot of it seems to be subjective, this was supposed to be quite light hearted though, in response to a certain incident, got a lot of nasty PMs over it, apparently the ones that would be annoying girls get upset and start the white knighter abuse... Ah well such as life...


andieXcandie (author)2009-11-18


abadfart (author)2009-07-24

Dont date people you meet on the internet i tend to draw the psychopaths

M!dn!8ht_Sun (author)2009-06-18


spiritwolf7984 (author)2009-06-14

A Person I know From The Intenwebz Said

G uy I n R eal L ife

Actually 90% of the people who I meat on the internet are girls they Just Hate The Sexist comments so they useually won't tel you till you know them better

Hopefully Over Time That will Change and im sure your Ibie Helped Alot

Plasmana (author)2008-10-26

What the heck is "cybersex"???????

potaderantor (author)Plasmana2009-05-24

it involves...cameras...

Lithium Rain (author)Plasmana2008-10-27

It's when people on the internet talk dirty to one another.

Camisado (author)Lithium Rain2009-01-23

Err....'Tis a little more than just that....

Lithium Rain (author)Camisado2009-01-23


Not at ALL SFW!!

Camisado (author)Lithium Rain2009-01-23

What I'm saying is they are not just simply talking dirty (talking dirty can be two people talking dirty about another person), but actually having sex through words.

Lithium Rain (author)Camisado2009-01-24

Power, I know that. I was trying to put it as delicately as possible.

Camisado (author)Lithium Rain2009-01-24

OK, sorry..... BTW, what does SFW stand for?

Lithium Rain (author)Camisado2009-01-24

Part of NSFW-not safe for work.

Plasmana (author)Lithium Rain2008-10-27

Oh, thanks and lets not talk about it...

Ormazd (author)2009-04-08

I have to agree on this, and i don't think that there are fewer girls on the net, most of my IM and social site contacts and friends are girls. I think that is a matter of interest, most girls are not as geeky, only some, but the net is a huge universe by itself, so even most guys i know are not as interested in tech as i am, but there is a place for anyone in here, we only need basic education to get along

iovitanc (author)2009-03-12

i liked your tutorial; fortunately never being offended because of my gender; and i don't know any girl that doesn't use internet a lot, is it that in other areas they don't like it that much?

N1CK4ND0 (author)2009-03-11

Indeed. I find my own friends doing it quite frequently and it actually annoys me. Also, that pic is crazy. I have no clue how they did that lol.

Admiral Puffinfresh (author)2008-10-07

Killerjackalope, were I a girl, I would marry you. However, as a guy, it's pretty embarrassing that you had to write this in the first place. And I AM a hornball, but if you can't get a girl, don't bother chicks on the internet; that's what porn's for.

I'm a dude, just to warn you...

hehehe, guys are funny. there seems to be a great concern for heterosexual men to point out that they are "dudes," i wouldn't mind hearing a girl tell me, if i was a man i would be in love with you.

Ignore that last one, I missed the were I girl bit lol... It is pretty bad but if it helps then it's better being written...

irinazcona (author)2009-02-07


Sandisk1duo (author)2009-01-16

linx don't work

fixxon1972 (author)2009-01-10

good so far, you gone from calling them women to nerdy girls... lol

About This Instructable




Bio: A Northern Ireland based maker with a propensity to cause trouble and freshly constructed family.
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