So here it goes, a guide to dealing with women on the internet, without making an ass out of yourself or your gender.
Ok a few edits and points to be made are in order. First off I'm a Dude - which in reality makes this all the worse, it's embarrassing to us lot, unfortunately some people can't help themselves...
One point people, I'm not in the habit of white knighting...
Second after some discussions with girls in both life and via comments etc. I've had general agreement on the points but more elaboration needed, also to make sure you remember they are people, you can talk to them nice and normal, it won't cause you any trouble...
Step 1: First Instincts and Reactions.
You might find yourself rolling around on the floor drooling while intermittently asking her to date/touch you while calling her pretty. No! Down boy, this is naughty and bad.
If you alternatively find yourself typing sexist jokes and slurs while calling her rude names and insulting them in some way you are no better than the greasy little hornballs that needed to go to the toilet after realizing this.
Instead of this consider being a normal person and reacting as you would normally *odd fact, there are more girls than you think on the internet, they just don't let people like you know.*
Step 2: Being Appropriate.
Try not to make a joke about their anatomy, in fact just don't, you shouldn't have to try not to.
Don't ask invasive and annoying questions just because they happen to be a female, the internet is a vast place, some of the information you seek is out there, some things are best left unasked.
You can however engage them in normal conversation and they will respond in normal ways, you could make a joke about how few girls there are about the internet, as long as you phrase it sensibly, examples being:
- Man this place was a sausage-fest before you showed up
- Wow, chick on the internet, bet you're lost (this one is a double whammy of idiocy, see there's a bit of chauvinism in there too, best left unused)
- Are you really a middle aged man?
Really it's not the best of jokes anyway but made appropriately or as an actual comment I suppose it's not that bad, but again it's probably very repetitive at the end of the day.
Step 3: In Practice...
Also the consequences of abusive behaviour on this and many community sites is usually banning, it's just a no tolerance policy, mainly because to level off the number of females to males on the internet would be good for everyone, again there are plenty out there but they might have other interests compared to us lads. No that doesn't mean they're looking up new apron designs and dishcloths, remember? No more of that sexism young man.
By the way a guy wrote this, one whose not too old to be a hornball and one whose smart enough not to be a greasy little wretch who consists almost exclusively of cheese and hot pockets, beyond that I have the mental capacity to go beyond your mother jokes and manage not to start every sentence with them. Some day you might stop playing WOW and get a life, slowly becoming human again. If it doesn't happen soon it's best you should no that you're part of the first group being forced to become functioning members of society when I become ruler, any defiances will be met with the troublemakers being thrown in the badger pit. By the way I added eels to it this morning, now it's slimy and deadly.