Let me deliver you from your spare space and tell you: There is a solution.
Follow my Instructable and let me help you fill the gap with a not even too expensive 1:1 paper version of Travis Touchdown, including his shining Beam Katana.
On the promo picture, the figure looks a bit small, because of the focal blur, but it's not. It's 1.86m.
And for the Epilog contest I have to add: I would love and hug my laser cutter, call it Jorge and use him to make awesome 3D-figures and mechanics out of wood, because I don't love and hug my jigsaw, it even kind of annoys me.
Let's start into the project with a fitting quote from the intro of No More Heroes I:
"It's gonna be a long, hard road. But who knows? Could kick ass. Could be dangerous. Could totally suck."
*for all the smartypants: Of course not right now, as you would have to read as you watch as you wonder.