Introduction: Make Yourself More Peaceful. How to Eliminate Anger.

Picture of Make Yourself More Peaceful. How to Eliminate Anger.

For those of you who think that anger is normal and no big deal, this is not for you. For the few of you who realize that anger is a destructive force that is the opposite of peace, you might want to read on.

Peace is not the result of positive thinking. Peace can only come with the absence of negative thinking. True Peace requires the absence of anger.

All day, everyday, most people react to each other with resentment or other forms of subtle anger. This is done automatically, and often, unconsciously. It is so common, it is as nothing to most people. In most societies, anger is considered normal. Everybody does it. Still, most people don't want to talk about it, much less think about it. People either express their anger and make other people sick or they repress their anger and make themselves sick. The possibility of eliminating anger is not even considered. Yet, anger can be seen to be the root cause of depression, rape, racism, insanity, murder, and war. You don't believe it? Read on.

Step 1: Materials

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Needed: one honest person

Step 2: Total Honesty

Picture of Total Honesty

In order to become someone better and find true Peace, you have to be able to admit what you are doing wrong. It does little good to see what everyone else is doing wrong. That's easy. Whatever they may be doing wrong, you can't change them. You will have your hands full trying to change yourself into something better.

You will have to be able to do what most people are not willing to do, admit it when you are wrong. You have to be willing to be totally honest--at least with yourself. You must abandon your clever excuses and self-justifications and lies. There is no other way.

When you have reached a certain level of honesty about your own faults, only then will you have the opportunity to see clearly how destructive anger can be.

Step 3: Watching What Anger Does

Picture of Watching What Anger Does

Don't take my word for it, look for yourself. Look all around you, in your everyday life, and see exactly what anger does.

When we expect more than we are getting, when our life is not living up to our dreams, things begin to look hopeless. When we do not appreciate what we have and can only dwell on what we don’t have, we begin to resent our situation or even our life. We start to turn our anger inward. We get angry at ourselves for not being smart enough or good enough to get what we want—what we expected. This resentment and the unwillingness to accept our situation is the beginning of depression. It is this increasingly common depression, coupled with a deep selfishness, that can lead to suicide.

Every time there is a murder, anger is involved. Resentments accumulate over time until some last intolerable slight sets someone off. Every murderer is a person that is temporarily or permanently consumed by hate. When people go into a rage, they lose their normal restraints. They lose their self control. If you could eliminate anger from the situation, most murders would not occur.

Studies have shown that rape is more about anger than it is about sex. Rape is a form of retribution. The rapist is trying to get even with those who were unjust to him. He is venting his anger in a way that will hurt and humiliate. The violence of the act is fueled by anger.

The racist or bigot has seen injustice or had injustice done to him. He needs someone to blame and the one who gets blamed is determined not by who deserves blame, but by who is a convenient target. One problem with anger is that its direction cannot be controlled. When the pressure of resentment builds to a sufficient degree, anger lashes out to the nearest person, even if that person is not the cause of the original resentment. The boss takes it out on the husband who takes it out on the wife who takes it out on the kids who end up kicking the cat. Those who cannot take it out on those close to them, end up finding another race, culture, or religion to blame for their problems.

When a person suppresses their anger for years at a time, they can implode mentally. They can get lost in endless loops of frustration and helplessness. Frustration is just another form of anger and unrelenting frustration is the beginning of mental imbalance. For such people, dreams become their only escape from the hostility around them and their own inner ugly rage. They retreat into their own mind-world which is seething with disgust and hatred. When taken as far as it can go, they can end up paranoid or schizophrenic or pathological. Most insanity comes from this kind of inner rage.

Step 4: Watching Your Own Anger

Picture of Watching Your Own Anger

Next to being honest, this is the hardest step. It is easy to see how unreasonable other people can be when they are angry. Much harder is to see how unfair and unreasonable you can be when you are resentful or angry.

In order to do this, you have to learn how to step back and watch yourself. The watcher is the watched. It is as if you were watching a drowning person being swept away by the currents as you watch calmly from the shore. Yet, you are that drowning person being swept away by your frustrations and resentments.

If you learn to create this separation, you will begin to see clearly your own anger and the very act of objectively watching it will eventually start to dissolve it. You can actually learn to dissolve anger while it is small and weak--before it grows into something larger and more destructive.

Anger is a reaction to perceived or imagined injustice. But it is an overreaction. Anger is not something you can control, it is something that controls you. It is not something that can be channeled into a positive direction. It is anger that murders innocence and it is anger that leaves suffering in its wake. Once you have seen for yourself that there is something wrong with anger, you can begin to learn how it works. For those of you who are willing to look into it, you may discover that there is a way out of this perpetual misery.

If you suppress your anger, it will make you sick. Studies have shown that anger releases chemicals in the blood which can weaken the immune system. This can lead to cancer and other diseases. If you express your anger, it will make others sick. You will create an angry response in them which can damage their health. The only real and permanent solution to the never-ending problems of this world and the beginning of real Peace, is the actual elimination of anger—the anger in you.

As long as there is anger, there will be wars.

Here is a link to a book that explains better than I can, how to see yourself objectively and eventually eliminate your own anger:


alexandria1999 (author)2017-02-17

u know wot, i like it!!! :D :P :) thanxz it helps real well

luvit (author)2009-04-25

my co-workers are angry all the time and have hateful cynical humor. they make me cry in public.

Viaticus (author)luvit2013-03-20

Have you taken time to step back and think about that?

Viaticus (author)2013-03-20

Seriously?!!! You just HAD to point that yellow arrow at me in the picture! Grrrrrr.....

Just kidding! ;)

Life is way to short, etc.

KiaLia (author)2010-08-11

That which angers you, CONTROLS you......

teeps (author)2010-04-18

Michael Singer has some great things to say on the subject of learning how to step back and watch yourself.  His book, The Untethered Soul, was very illuminating, but of course it's just a reiteration of ancient wisdom from countless others. 

I like your graphics on this post, thanks for the peaceful contribution :) 

Kush_Slayer (author)2009-04-04

i would have to say i am one of the people listed in the first sentence who this instructable isnt for, because i found out that when you are angry and in a fight you can get an adrenaline rush easyer and not feel any pain and keep fighting

adamvan2000 (author)2008-10-30

Anger is a feeling, our feelings are part of ourselves. They help us react to and change ourselves and, in turn, the world around us. To deny anger is to deny a part of ourselves. Many good things have been done in anger, as well as many bad things. Anger can be a powerful motivating force, as can sadness, etc.. It's all about how we deal with it, and what we choose to do with it. Anger is not a lack of self-control. Sometimes how we deal with it shows how lacking our self-control is, or how strong an emotion anger truly is. I'm grateful for the ability to feel, whether it's anger, sadness, joy, or a myriad of other emotions and combinations thereof. ~adamvan2000

pickola (author)2007-11-15

I'm sorry but this just seems like a plug for a product.

alexhdavis (author)2007-08-11

mikey, I appreciate this Instructable!! I feel arguing the p's and q's of this instructable takes away from the core message. You are not at fault for suggesting people remove anger from their lives. It is good advice that we should all follow more often. These comments seem frustrating to me, because they are clouding a beautiful message that should be very often repeated. Of Course the only person that is going to agree with 100% of this instructable is you. The complete assimilation to this idea is not and should not be a goal. But those who can look at this with an open mind, and take part of it and make it their own might be glad they did.

jtobako (author)2007-07-21

Nope, doesn't make sense. Too many places where the hypothesizes sounds good but the proof fails. Too many generalities that fall apart when examined. 'Anger' is not a synonym for 'stress' as you assume in one example. Perhaps you should start with a definition of anger.

mikey77 (author)jtobako2007-07-23

This is not a theory. This is not an argument in favor of eliminating anger. This is a down to earth, practical description of what anger is and how it can be eliminated. It is a step by step description which is as precise as I can make it with my limited writing skills. I have used these techniques to successfully eliminate most of my anger without repressing it or expressing it, and so have thousands of others. If you don't think it is worth doing, that's fine. If you want to pretend that anger isn't destructive, that's fine too. It is a question of the quality of your perception and your honesty, not theories or proofs. Can you see in your everyday life, independent of me or anyone else, the damage that is caused when an angry man beats his wife or child? Have you ever seen an un-angry man beat his wife or child? It does not happen. Are you going to pretend that people can be peaceful while at the same time they are angry? That is absurd. The proof is in the doing. It works. But if you are still at the lower level where you do not see or think that anger is a problem or you are to close-minded to consider the possibility that anger can actually be eliminated, then you might want to go to a less threatening instructable where you can make a wallet out of duct tape and keep your anger untouched.

jtobako (author)mikey772007-07-23

Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, wore it out, bought another one. Your view of the world is simplistic at best, limited to black and white definitions, and possibly dangerous. Getting further requires definitions so we are talking about the same thing. Please, what is your definition of anger?

mikey77 (author)jtobako2007-07-24

My view of the world is "simplistic at best". Define simplistic. I am limited to "black and white definitions" Define that. Prove it. And what is your definition of "possibly dangerous" You demand what you do not provide. Where is your proof that I am wrong? Where are your definitions? If I'm so wrong and illogical, why do you waste your time on this? I have hit a nerve by stating the obvious--that anger is destructive. If you prefer to think that anger cannot and should not be eliminated, then why not go on your merry way oblivious to the harm that it causes? Without making any effort to find out if it can in fact be eliminated. From experience, I know the taste of chocolate. Can I define it in a way that will prove that I've tasted chocolate. No. A child who is being beaten by an angry adult knows what anger is and needs no definitions. A mother receiving the pieces of her child that was blown up by a hate-filled terrorist knows what anger is and needs no definitions or logical proofs. Anger is resentment. Anger is frustration. Anger is hostility. Anger is a mean spirit that gets inside of people. Anger is not you, it is something that gets inside of you. And because it is not you but something passed down through the generations, it can be eliminated. Anger is not like the other emotions. It does not help with survival. It is anti-survival. Anger is an over-reaction to injustice or imagined injustice. Anger is not something that can be controlled. It controls you. Anger in its most extreme form is called hate. All of these forms of anger from the smallest and most subtle to the largest, are destructive to you and everyone around you. The proof: just look around you at the harm it causes. This is not something new that I came up with. People have known how to eliminate their anger for at least two thousand years. It is a huge mistake to assume that because you don't know how to do it, it is impossible for others to have learned what you have not.

jtobako (author)mikey772007-07-25

You seem angry at my questions. Why?

Anger : a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong
or : may be a (physiological and psychological) response to a perceived threat to self or important others, present, past, or future. The threat may appear to be real, discussed, or imagined. ( and )

Defining 'anger' as 'anything i don't like' is useless. Resentment, frustration, hostility, mean spirit-none of those are anger. They may LEAD to violent behavior, but are not anger. Not using clear, precise words with definite meanings leads to misunderstanding and mistakes.

Anger is a basic survival emotion, hard wired in the brain (the amygdala) and gives a jump-start for danger. Anger can not be controlled, but your reaction to it can be.

Hate is not anger. I hate the taste of alcohol, but that has nothing to do with anger. Is that 'proof' of anything?

As far as 2000 years of teachings...well, beating the crap out of your kids has a much longer history, are you advocating that just because it's been around longer?

Violence is preventable. The opposite of hatred/racism/bigotry is education.

Oh, you are simplistic in that you claim a SINGE thing is the root of all problems. Black and white because you have no other answers. Possibly dangerous in that you think that your solution is for everyone (suppression is a stress-remember that article?).

I'm responding to better your instructible as someone who has tried this-it doesn't always work (read Sidhartha's response to Budda-everyone has to find their own path).

zipykido (author)jtobako2007-07-21

Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to the dark side. <-- proven ;D

jtobako (author)zipykido2007-07-22

Definitions missing, proof fails : )

LasVegas (author)zipykido2007-07-22

Fear is another emotion. It does not lead to anger but could co-exist with it. Hate is an inappropriate reaction to anger. The "Dark Side" is a fictional concept from a magical realm that doesn't exist in the real Universe. While it's concept follows closely with Good and Evil or Yin and Yang, it's got nothing to do with anger. One's behavior can be evil, not one's emotions.

kukujin (author)2007-07-25

Anger is not problem. Its love. True peace cannot exist with love. think of all the people who kill for the love of God. Kill for ther love of Nation. think about all the crazy things we do when we are in love. All he horible things we to protect our love for that person. nothing hurts more then when the hurt comes from people we love. and the anger really come out when that love doesn't work out. naaaaw. I think in order to obtain true peace. we have to get ride of love. for more people have died and killed in the name of love then any other "free will" action(im not counting things like deseise and acts of nature).

kukujin (author)kukujin2007-07-25

In case anybody missed it, This is very tounge in cheek.

woomyse (author)2007-07-22

All living is a stress. Sitting by a river fishing is a stress. An enjoyable one, but still a stress. Anger is another stress. What I know from long personal experience is that anger will injure you and those that you love most. As sure as sit here and type.

Anyway, I found out the hard way; a massive heart attack and an emergency angioplasty with 3 stents as a final result.

Please head this advice... Now and realize that hypertension, bad eating habits, lack of exercise, genetics etc. all come into play.

Don't take my word for it, click here.

LasVegas (author)2007-07-21

Anger is to peace as flying is to peat moss. You cannot compare the two. The opposite of peace is war. The opposite of anger is no anger. It's an emotion and nothing more. Anger is not opposite love or happiness, since all can coexist as nothing more than emotions. There are many unhealthy reactions to anger that can and should be avoided or eliminated such as hatred, ferocity, depression and homicide, to name a few. Anger itself will exist and should be dealt with, but isn't an evil in itself. I get angry when I see parents jay walking a very busy highway with children in their arms. I get angry when fuel prices are risen without logical reason. I get angry when I see someone filling up their SUV or Hummer while complaining about the prices. Do I go on a rampage over it? Of course not. I accept the anger as a normal emotion over a situation that merits it and go on with my life.

mikey77 (author)LasVegas2007-07-22

As I said in the first sentence: "For those of you who think that anger is normal and no big deal, this is not for you." It is not my job to convince you of the obvious--that anger is destructive in many ways. This can be easily seen by anyone who is sincerely looking for the truth. This instructable is practical information for those who want to learn how to eliminate their anger and the suffering that it causes. It always amazes me how many people want to protect and defend their anger as if it were something noble and beautiful and necessary. Anger is an absence of self-control. How can that be a good thing? Mere words will not convince you. Only life and the suffering of life has such transforming power.

LasVegas (author)mikey772007-07-22

And as I said, anger is an emotion! There's no defending emotions and there's no eliminating them! You can learn to deal with an emotion, but trying to eliminate anger simply buries it and allows it to build and fester. The idea that anger can be eliminated is a fallacy. One has to recognize the anger at its source and deal with it in a healthy manner. This prevents it from coming out at an inappropriate time and form. Anger is not destructive! Dealing with it in an inappropriate manner is.

mikesty (author)LasVegas2007-07-21

At first I was going to post my reactions to your comment. I made the mistake of browsing comments before reading the article. That was a mistake: you are 100% correct.

Immediately upon reading this, in full, I realized that WAY too many assumptions were made. Correct or incorrect, there are too many that just slide in there (e.g. All murderers are angry, peace is the opposite of anger) and too many quantum leaps are made as a result of this. The basis of the entire article is shaky and it is evident from the start but it becomes even more clear as you go through.

"For those of you who think that anger is normal and no big deal, this is not for you. For the few of you who realize that anger is a destructive force that is the opposite of peace, you might want to read on.

Peace is not the result of positive thinking. Peace can only come with the absence of negative thinking. True Peace requires the absence of anger."

Anger != Opposite of Peace != Negative Thinking != Hate

You're linking/grouping together far too many things, and as LasVegas said anger is not an evil itself. As lame as it is, the best quote to back me up is Yoda in the Empire Strikes Back:

"Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering."

I hate to say it, but one I got to the end of this I realized it was just spew.

Grimling (author)2007-07-21

Very nice tutorial , Did you come to this conclusion by yourself or are you just reading reading & more reading into buddhism ? Anyhow , it's very well putted into words , it's a shame most people don't even want to open thereselfs to understand this . Like Gautama Siddharta said: Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”

About This Instructable




Bio: I believe that the purpose of life is to learn how to do our best and not give in to the weaker way.
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