Introduction: Make a Human Table

Picture of Make a Human Table

What is up everybody, In this instructables I am gonna make a portable wooden human table from leftover wood.

Note that this is just a fun project and is probably the most useless thing you can make :P

Step 1: 3d Modeling

Picture of 3d Modeling

Whenever I make something, It always starts in modeling software called solidworks.That is very useful especially if you don’t know how your end product is going to look like.

I copied the design from a gif I found on the internet because it looks really simple to make.

It is just a few planks screwed together and a big plywood board in the middle.

On the bottom of the board I am going to put a foam to protect your knees from hurting and that is pretty much it.

Step 2: Cutting Down the Planks

Picture of Cutting Down the Planks

I have used an old wooden plank with just the right width I could make 2 sides with a single board.

The only thing was to cut it on length and later cut it in half.

With a planer I flatten both sides and after that I sand all surfaces to remove an old grainy pattern from planks.

After that I cut another 44cm plank on which we are gonna sit later on.

Again, few strokes with planer, a bit of sanding and we can already assemble it together.

Step 3: Join Them Together

Picture of Join Them Together

I drilled 4 holes on each side to prevent screws from splitting the wood and before tighten them up make sure both planes are perfectly lined up.

After that, I drilled some holes for the top board and before screwing that on I coated it with light brown color.

Step 4: Painting and Testing

Picture of Painting and Testing

When the paint was dry I secure the board to the frame and it was finally ready to be tested.

On the bottom I placed a foam to protect your knees because after some time it can get very uncomfortable to sit steady and relaxed. And there we have it.

Yes I know hah that was probably the most useless project so far but hey, it looked cool and it is really funny to sit on and have some drink with a friend.

Thank you for reading this instructable, I hope you enjoyed or at least get inspired to make something in your shop.

You are welcome to check out my youtube channel as well

Step 5: Watch a Video


Sembot (author)2017-05-07

This is a KISS (Keep it simple and smart or Keep it short and simple) model on all levels

Frosterz22. (author)Sembot2017-05-07

i thought KISS meant keep it stupid and simple

ConnorG8 (author)Frosterz22.2017-05-07

It means "Keep It Simple, Stupid!"

trentonr4 (author)ConnorG82017-11-12

its Knights in Satan's Sanctum if you've seen "Detroit rock city"

PattyP17 (author)ConnorG82017-05-10


Frosterz22. (author)ConnorG82017-05-07

uhh, i use it when i use a stupid deck and it works

Sembot (author)Sembot2017-05-08

My translation sounds better , its a fantastic project

DikkenDweis (author)2017-06-20

Useless yet awesome!
You should add a labyrinth ball game in the middle! :D

Dawsie (author)2017-05-08

????I love it I can see it as a great party trick trying to get your friends to use it but also mixing it up with different height people to see how they all coupe it would defiantly get everybody in to the party mood as they try it out and spend half the time giggling trying to both sit down at the same time

PattyP17 (author)Dawsie2017-05-10

...and mixed with alcohol could provide quite a few laughs - and some injuries!

Dawsie (author)PattyP172017-05-10

true but myself and my friends actually all don't drink, ? Just something we all seamed to stop doing as we got older and wiser I think ???

PattyP17 (author)2017-05-10

Thanks for the grins. Totally useless, yet people will insist on building it. Add wide circular "legs" the length of the thing (on the outside) and make a death trap see-saw! I think you ought to get people to comment to add insane additives, like a giant air bubble level on/in the table top so the people seated can work to keep it level. That combined with the see-saw thing would be even funnier. 3/4 length anti-tip leg pegs on the four corners would make it safer and easier to get into, but then you probably thought of that.

Sameeha SaleemS (author)2017-05-07

Will the different weights of the people matter?

PattyP17 (author)Sameeha SaleemS2017-05-10

Of course. Trying to balance at all is a risky proposition. Using people of different hreights or weights complicates the matter. also, both people have to sit or stand at the same time, and the table is going to fall over the moment they stand up, unless the stay bent and hold it. Argh! Death trap! ;-)

I found the best way is to sit with someone who has the same length of calves as you

lajjuana (author)2017-05-10

I love it. Precisely because, yes, is quite stupid... I'll build one

Cayotica (author)2017-05-09

looks just like something we made in the Boy Scouts 60years ago

Jakes workshop (author)2017-05-08

What about we make one for 4 people? lol

Yea just make it a + shape for 3 people make it a triange shape or a circle in the midle and 3 or more "chairs" on the sides, but make sure you balance them out.

MysKym (author)2017-05-07

Very cool long as the drinks you share are non-alcoholic...otherwise it becomes the human seesaw ;-)

Jakes workshop (author)MysKym2017-05-08

haha also funny! ;)

Reclusive Jef (author)2017-05-07

you man are great :-D

thank you

Timothee Gillier (author)2017-05-07

Cool project!


agis68 (author)2017-05-07

excellent idea and well made....keep rolling

Jakes workshop (author)agis682017-05-08

thanks mate

LiliwoL (author)2017-05-07

Hi, very nice idea to make people talking with others! I shall build some for a fringe festival i work on!

Keep on inventing useless things like that please!

Jakes workshop (author)LiliwoL2017-05-08

hahah thanks man ;)

deluges (author)2017-05-07

Doesn't this hurt your knees like hell ? I mean even with the foam it must be really uncomfortable

Jakes workshop (author)deluges2017-05-08

for the first 15 minutes it is ok but later on it gets a bit uncomfortable ;)

deluges (author)deluges2017-05-07

I really like the idea tho :)

austin.hall.129794 (author)2017-05-07

Wwell the table moves right? so just co-ordinate that, might get harder the more beers you have though :)

(had to laugh as the woman comment as well, just don't tell my wife)

Hihihihi, you did make me think about the following:
What if each person has a strap on his neck that is connected with the tabletop, (nicely measured of course) that makes that they can standup, walk to the refrigerator, get that beer, and move on with the card play.
That makes that this idea would work for single man too.Cheers

It would be easy to make an adjustable strap - with holes in at the end to clip onto a nail or something - like a belt. Table wouldn't Work for one person though... hVae a think about why.... :)

Alex in NZ (author)2017-05-07

Very nice. I like the way you have included this design of chair wiki/lap_circle ;-)

burzurk (author)2017-05-07 are right...totally useless. It's called's ART!

thank You

DmitryP2 (author)2017-05-07

8-) Boston Dynamics table design, look like this:

VancoD (author)2017-05-07

lol - cool table - but with a 38" inseam I'm not likely to have too many people to share this with outside of my family

Does it get tiring to use for a long time?

MiltReynolds (author)2017-05-05

I enjoyed the well-made video, good step-by-step how-to. Not useless at all!

Thanks man!

keets (author)2017-05-05

Really fun!!! I think it is a nice table to play cards on a camping ground or something like that. Waiting how long it take before people starts asking about it.

But one thing: please study some information about working safe with electrical tools. You don't want to miss a finger.

Jakes workshop (author)keets2017-05-07

Thanks for the awareness!

Gorilla22 (author)2017-05-05

At first, I couldn't figure out how this could possibly work. Then, the more I thought about it, and then watched the video, I realized that this is just awesome. I have to try to make this myself. Good job and nice instructable!

Jakes workshop (author)Gorilla222017-05-07

Thanks Gorilla22! Appreciate that

38ren (author)2017-05-04


Jakes workshop (author)38ren2017-05-07


cagrikanver (author)2017-05-04

That's really cool. Impressive work, I might try it.

You should build one for sure ;)

Fathomlis (author)2017-05-04

Awesome stuff! I really like it. I should actually try this...Nice work

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