Step 1: Sourcing Your Material
Thrift stores/charity shops are inundated with yards and yards of durable, quality fabrics, trapped inside of these giant, over-sized dresses, caftans, or mumus. You will pay pennies on the dollar for denim, duck cloth, brushed canvas.
And I know that I chose a variety of cuts and colors for dramatic purposes here, but the reality is that most of this surplus is like the first dress pictured - billowy, jumper-style denim dresses. And denim is denim, you know? A versatile, timeless, hard-working fabric. What other fabric can you think of that has been consistently in use and/or in style for the past three hundred years?
Styles come and go, but all that denim trapped inside by passé fashion remains relevant and useful, and shouldn't be fated to languish on hangers or eventually be ground up into insulation material.
Step 2: Basic Pattern and Measurements
If it wasn't obvious before, it will be to you now, that I have no formal know-how or education in how to either sew or draft a pattern. The closest relevant experience I have is doing kitchen and bath design, so maybe that's why my pattern is looks like how you might draw cabinets.
I don't know how to direct you how to scale this precisely. You can see the basic sort of shape, and as a suggestion you might want to measure yourself to determine the most comfortable places for the neck and armholes to end, as well as overall length and width of your apron.
Step 3: Preparing the Garment
I tried to lay my pattern out for a garment that has been cut up the back and side-seams as I have tried to show, by making a total of three straight cuts.
Three cuts, three steps, three images. That's it.
I've gotten reports from people that they see a "phantom" fourth step, which simply can't be possible.
If you do follow my instructions faithfully, and do happen to start seeing things, try to remain calm, and don't worry.
Your body is trying to tell you that you need to get more sleep.
For your safety and protection, please use caution using scissors, tools, humor, or operating heavy machinery until the abnormality in vision has ceased to occur.