Introduction: Making Your Computer Greet You/speak

This is a very simple instructable that will guide you in making you computer talk. every time you start up your computer, it will greet you with something like "Hello Master Yoda"

Obviously, there are many ways to accomplish this, in many languages. the easiest language to code this in is VBS (visual basic script)

however, it is time-consuming and rather difficult for the uninitiated to attempt to code this and actually get it to work.

So whats the solution? make an installation package of course!!!

the first step will include the download for the latest installer package, and some basic instructions on how to use it.

step two will be the changelog and ALL versions, wich will be updated quite a bit.

the rest will show you the source code behind it, and how to do it completely yourself.

(This is a continuous project, please revisit often to get the latest and greatest version)

NOTE: as with any coding tutorial, I recommend that you learn enough about the code to understand what is happening, as well as run anti-malware and a virus scan after EVERY download. A way for hackers to get to your computer is to piggy pack on programs like mine, DONT LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU.

Step 1: Download the Easy Install

latest version: https://mega.nz/#!3oME3LSA!cNCU4esBAPBo4X0iVh8q291...

simply run the program and it will guide you to create your welcome program.

if you want to change the greeting, navagate to the folder "%AppData%\Microsoft\Windows\Start Menu\Programs\Startup"

find the file "Welcome.vbs" and delete it.

rerun the latest version of "Welcome" and choose your greeting again!!

please send greeting requests, ideas, questions, and other stuff to:

trapper_of_death@yahoo.com

Step 2: Changelog

Soon to come: 1.5 added replace function, no longer have to delete the file manually :D

1.4 Fixed bug causing program to error

1.4 source code: https://mega.nz/#!3oME3LSA!cNCU4esBAPBo4X0iVh8q29...
1.4 exe: https://mega.nz/#!no0l0b6b!1D3T2wHM2qOXjiantE5xmo...

1.3 Fixed bug causing program to exit prematurely

1.2 Added ability to choose name

1.1 Added ability to choose to greeting

1.0 Program created with the basic setup.

Step 3: Simple Greeting

this is a simple bit of code, which when placed in the right folder, can make you computer talk when you start it.

echo Dim speaks, speech

echo speaks="YOUR GREETING"

echo Set speech=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice")

Menu\Programs\Startup\Welcome.vbs" echo speech.Speak speaks

type that into a basic text editor, like notepad, and save it. BUT save it as a .vbs

how you do that, hit "file" then "save" or "save as" (or just do ctrl+s)

look near the bottom of the saving window, hover on "save as type"

move a little to the right and click on the long skinny bar that says "Text Documents (*.txt)

scroll down and click on "All Files"

then type file name as "Welcome.vbs"

you can replace "Welcome" with whatever you want.

then locate the navigation bar. it will likely look something like this: " > Libraries > Documents >"

select the text, hit delete. then type in "%AppData%\Microsoft\Windows\Start Menu\Programs\Startup"

Finally hit save!!!!

you are done, completely finished.

Step 4: Now Add in a Easy Way to Do It Like the Download I Gave You

just type this into notepad:

@echo off
:Menu color 0b

mode con:cols=60 lines=10

title Set up your Welcome Program

cls

cls Echo Enter Your name(to be refered to as by the program):

set /p name=Your name:

cls

Echo Pick your greeting

Echo (1) Welcome Master %name%

Echo (2) Hello %name% how are you today?

Echo (3) Pleased to continue my servitude to you Master %name%

set /p greeting=Pick your number:

if %greeting%==1 goto WelcomeMaster

if %greeting%==2 goto Helloname

if %greeting%==3 goto Pleased

color 0c Echo. Echo You entered a invalid number choice please try again.

ping localhost -n 2 >nul goto Menu

:WelcomeMaster

set greeting2=Welcome Master %name%

goto finish

:Helloname

set greeting2=Hello %name% how are you today?

goto finish

:Pleased

set greeting2=Pleased to continue my servitude to you Master %name%

goto finish

:finish echo Dim speaks, speech >>"%AppData%\Microsoft\Windows\Start Menu\Programs\Startup\Welcome.vbs" echo speaks="%greeting2%" >>"%AppData%\Microsoft\Windows\Start Menu\Programs\Startup\Welcome.vbs" echo Set speech=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") >>"%AppData%\Microsoft\Windows\Start Menu\Programs\Startup\Welcome.vbs"

echo speech.Speak speaks >>"%AppData%\Microsoft\Windows\Start Menu\Programs\Startup\Welcome.vbs"

cls

echo All Done!!!

echo Everytime you start you computer, it will echo speak your selected greeting!!

echo You didnt even have to do any coding!!!

echo Dont worry, this program didnt screw up anything else,

echo nor put a virus on your computer. echo But in case something else jumped bail and echo sucked onto this program,

echo please run a antivirus and antimalware program echo Have a nice day!!!

echo (press enter to exit)

echo ---------------------------------------------------------------

pause

exit

save this as "Welcome.bat" anywhere you want.

run the program and follow the on screen instructions.

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