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Mike's Super Colon Cleaning Oatmeal

Mike\
 Sick of getting old and having things not move through as easily as they used to? Want to stabilize blood sugar levels, and filter out the fatty brown gravy that courses through your blood steam?

Of course we all do.

But how does a person go about this?

Well we can always turn to the sensational media claims about oat-based products as being “Heart Healthy”. After all, we all know that something that tastes as bland and as unappealing as oatmeal just HAS to be good for us. Right?

Well hopefully I can change that misconception.

Now I am sure you will hear equal arguments from flapping heads on both sides about the validity of oatmeal’s claims or perhaps how it’s all balderdash propaganda set up by an international oat cartel that controls half the world’s population via hot breakfast cereal. This instructable is not about making such wild assumptions or giving out health advice. It is simply about my experience, and my current recipe made with Quaker Brand Oatmeal.

To be honest with everyone up front, this is actually my wife’s recipe. I placed my name on it because she made me swear to never utter or write her name in close proximity to the word “colon” ever again. So for the purposes of this instructable I will refer to this as my recipe.
 
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Step 1The Mighty Power of Fiber, And To a Lesser Extent its Awesome Sidekick Whole Grains.

The Mighty Power of Fiber, And To a Lesser Extent its Awesome Sidekick Whole Grains.
 To put it simply, fiber is that which makes things move. Not to get to technical or disgusting, but insoluble fiber never gets digested.

The human body does however use insoluble fiber to its advantage. You see, when we eat something the chunks, mush, and digestive juices that was our ground up meal move on down from the stomach into our small intestine. Once there, this mush-like substance called chyme is absorbed by the systems in the small intestine. Because whole grains have an outer shell of insoluble fiber, the body works longer and harder to break down the carbohydrates slated to become sugar. This stabilizes blood sugar levels and actually burns a few more calories in the process.

At the same time, this left over insoluble fiber is moving through the small intestine, into the large intestine, and down into the colon. All along the way grinding against the sidewalls of the intestine and picking up bad cholesterol and other nastiness during its travels. This leftover “package” is then packed together pretty firm in the colon. Once complete, you are then ready for a special delivery. If a person drinks enough water they will KNOW when the postman arrives.

To further explain all the health benefits of a properly “tuned” digestive system is beyond the scope of this instructable. However for anyone with digestive problems it is certainly something you might want to read up on.
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13 comments
Feb 20, 2011. 4:29 PMparafoil says:
I experience regularity with plain "steel cut" oatmeal.
The steel cut looks like cut up seeds and takes 20 minutes to cook.
.................
AS WITH ALL OATMEAL IT TAKES DAILY USE FOR SEVERAL DAYS TO START TO SEE THE EFFECTS...
................
I cook four days worth at once and reheat leftovers "stored in the fridge" in the microwave the next three days.

Just my two cents worth of advice.
Jul 8, 2010. 11:44 AMzMacDaddy says:
is this for real... i mean, is it even edible? Some please tell me you have eaten this ?
Oct 8, 2009. 1:23 PMDELETED_GuardianFox says:
(removed by author or community request)
Apr 27, 2010. 11:00 AMdaltonjcw says:
 Me too, cool 'ible! I also agree with Scott Tx. Thanks!
Oct 12, 2009. 8:47 AMkeeshycutz says:
i think that your recipe is going to be an answer to my issues. thanks colon cleansing man!!
Oct 9, 2009. 3:55 PMbrianfss says:
Nice 'ible".  I've never used the cayenne pepper, but I do add a handful of Raisin Bran because I like the flavor and texture.

Good job!
Oct 9, 2009. 12:44 PMvalhallas_end says:
Kudos on the fecal science euphemisms.  This does look like a good recipe too.  Personally, I can't stand the texture of oatmeal, but the rest of my family might like this for those days when the mail is late...
Oct 9, 2009. 7:10 AMScott_Tx says:
If you ever want to sell this I suggest you find a better name :P
Oct 8, 2009. 11:54 PMchotii says:
More and more, I see it spelled (no, seriously):   "Wa-la!"

By people who ought to know better.

I thought it was voila', myself. But I've never figured the difference in pronunciation between an a with an accent aigu, and an a with an accent grave.
Oct 8, 2009. 10:13 PMl8nite says:
I never thought about adding cayenne pepper !  I try to have a bowl of oatmeal 3-4x a week, I use honey instead of sugar but molasses sounds like a good addition as well. I also like to add dried cranberries to mine.. nice ible.. thank you 4 sharing
Oct 8, 2009. 4:29 PMsrohwer says:
Thanks, I'mm gonna try it this weekend. I've been trying to eat larger breakfasts, and this will help.

Your pictures made me LOL -

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Author:z0rb
I like to tinker and I like to learn, and if one can support the other then thats great.