Instructables

Mike's Super Colon Cleaning Oatmeal

Picture of Mike's Super Colon Cleaning Oatmeal
 Sick of getting old and having things not move through as easily as they used to? Want to stabilize blood sugar levels, and filter out the fatty brown gravy that courses through your blood steam?

Of course we all do.

But how does a person go about this?

Well we can always turn to the sensational media claims about oat-based products as being “Heart Healthy”. After all, we all know that something that tastes as bland and as unappealing as oatmeal just HAS to be good for us. Right?

Well hopefully I can change that misconception.

Now I am sure you will hear equal arguments from flapping heads on both sides about the validity of oatmeal’s claims or perhaps how it’s all balderdash propaganda set up by an international oat cartel that controls half the world’s population via hot breakfast cereal. This instructable is not about making such wild assumptions or giving out health advice. It is simply about my experience, and my current recipe made with Quaker Brand Oatmeal.

To be honest with everyone up front, this is actually my wife’s recipe. I placed my name on it because she made me swear to never utter or write her name in close proximity to the word “colon” ever again. So for the purposes of this instructable I will refer to this as my recipe.
 
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WUVIE8 days ago

Great job! So many people don't take the time to learn about the very machine, our body, that keeps us going every day. Glad there is someone out there who pays attention. Thank you for taking the time to teach others how important this is. :-)

slalomqueen8511 months ago
Add in a scoop of chia seeds and you'll be a poop machine! Nothing makes me more regular than chia. And they are so good for you too!
parafoil3 years ago
I experience regularity with plain "steel cut" oatmeal.
The steel cut looks like cut up seeds and takes 20 minutes to cook.
.................
AS WITH ALL OATMEAL IT TAKES DAILY USE FOR SEVERAL DAYS TO START TO SEE THE EFFECTS...
................
I cook four days worth at once and reheat leftovers "stored in the fridge" in the microwave the next three days.

Just my two cents worth of advice.
zMacDaddy4 years ago
is this for real... i mean, is it even edible? Some please tell me you have eaten this ?
z0rb (author)  zMacDaddy4 years ago
I eat this every day
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z0rb (author)  DELETED_GuardianFox5 years ago
 What can I say I like music
daltonjcw z0rb4 years ago
 Me too, cool 'ible! I also agree with Scott Tx. Thanks!
keeshycutz5 years ago
i think that your recipe is going to be an answer to my issues. thanks colon cleansing man!!
brianfss5 years ago
Nice 'ible".  I've never used the cayenne pepper, but I do add a handful of Raisin Bran because I like the flavor and texture.

Good job!
Kudos on the fecal science euphemisms.  This does look like a good recipe too.  Personally, I can't stand the texture of oatmeal, but the rest of my family might like this for those days when the mail is late...
Scott_Tx5 years ago
If you ever want to sell this I suggest you find a better name :P
chotii5 years ago
More and more, I see it spelled (no, seriously):   "Wa-la!"

By people who ought to know better.

I thought it was voila', myself. But I've never figured the difference in pronunciation between an a with an accent aigu, and an a with an accent grave.
l8nite5 years ago
I never thought about adding cayenne pepper !  I try to have a bowl of oatmeal 3-4x a week, I use honey instead of sugar but molasses sounds like a good addition as well. I also like to add dried cranberries to mine.. nice ible.. thank you 4 sharing
srohwer5 years ago
Thanks, I'mm gonna try it this weekend. I've been trying to eat larger breakfasts, and this will help.

Your pictures made me LOL -