Mooching 101




Posted in FoodBreakfast

Introduction: Mooching 101

About: Avid Geocacher and fan of all things iBles.

This Instructable will teach you the basics of the art of dog mooching, and how to resist it.

For the dog version, go here:

If you want to join this collaboration to add some of your tips, ask me.

Step 1: The Basics

First of all, there are two types of mooching:
Table and Other.
Table mooching is the form of begging for scraps from the table. This includes lunch and dinner. Breakfast is normally not a problem intill bacon, eggs, and sausage is thrown in.
Other consists of anything off the table, such as a snack on the couch.

The two main mooching food groups are meats and cheeses.
The intensity of the mooch for each food group will vary for each dog. My dog's intensity level is peaked with cheese, followed by meat.

Step 2: The Six Steps of Table Mooching

Table mooching normally takes place in six steps:

Step 1: Sensing The Finish.
This might not be true for some dogs. My dog as grown to know she will get nothing at the start of the meal. She will patiently wait until the meal is near the end.
Step 2: The Approach.
The dog gets up and casually walks over to you, tail wagging. The dog will sit or lay down next to your chair, never taking it's eyes of your plate. In my dog's case, she will take a bow so score some "impressive" points.
Step three: Asking Politely.
Your dog will kindly ask for your food through a series of wimpers and "doggy talk": a series of rumbles and Arrooooroooa, eeeruuuuumph noises.
Step four: Physical Contact.
Your dog will begin to nudge you with it's head or paws repeatedly. If it is a small dog, it will jump into your lap. If it is large, like mine, it will rest it's head in your lap.
Step five: The Look
The last resort in any dog's arsinal. Almost impossible to resist, the eyes enlarge and become watery, the mouth closes and droops. This will garuntee some pity points.
Step six: The Discusted Flop.
When you dog doen't get it's way, it will let out a loud Ooooooomph! and flop to the ground. Completely discusted with your lack of pity, it will either remain where it is or move on to the next person.

Step 3: Resisting the Table Mooch

The first and absolute rule is avoid eye contact!
Steps one and two are easily ignored.
When step three happens, try to play a happy tune in your head and plug your ears.
Step four's main goal is for you to acknowlage it's presence through petting and eye contact. As soon as you look at it, step five begins.
You have to have stone cold willpower to resist this. Absolutely no sence of pity or helping others. Good luck. I shatter like glass.

Here is another option that I allways do:
At the end of dinner, put any remaining scraps onto a plate. Bring that plate to your dog's bowl, and dump the scraps into the bowl. After a while, your dog will learn to wait untill dinner is over, knowing that he/she will recieve the food in their bowl. Expect wagging tails and happy faces.

Step 4: The Three Steps of Other

When you are sitting on the couch with food, you are completely vulnerable and exposed. Never let your guard down!

Step one: Immedient Approach.
Your dog will not wait, It will immediantly jump to step 2.
Step two: Physical Contact With The Look.
Your dog will rest it's head on your lap and give you the look at the same time. Distract it by petting, while at the same time slide your food further away.
Step three: The Steal
As soon as you let your guard down in any way, your dog will make it's move. Faster then you can react, it will lunge forward and shove it's way past you. By the time you look down, it will be licking its chops.

Step 5: Countering Table Begging

if you want to counter begging at the table, keep dog treats/food on a plate. when he/she begs, instead of people food give them dog food/treat. eventualy they will stop begging because they know they will only get their food. this takes time but it works (most of the time) :)



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    Beautiful dog. Is she a Berner? I've only had Cairn Terriers, so I confuse all those big dogs. My dogs have always gone to the "I hate you" look, because I insist that they leave the room while we eat. The dog will leave the room at 0.005 mph, which is the slowest possible speed that they can obey my command of "Beat it!" without getting in trouble. Then, she will go into the next room and flop down with an "ooomph" of disgust. (It's rather amazing that such a small dog can make such a large noise.) If at all possible, she will lie down and make eye contact with my daughter while staying out of my range of vision. This is tough because my chair is in the corner of the kitchen, and I can see out of both kitchen doors. If she can't make eye contact with my daughter or any guests, she begins to creep toward the kitchen/dining room while appearing to sleep. (guests are perfect. They cave immediately and start giving the dog treats) As we are finishing dinner, the dog will still technically be in the dining room, because 99.5% of her body weight is in the dining room, with only her front toenails and tip of her nose on the threshold to the kitchen. If she is lucky (meaning Grandpa wasn't hungry, so he put all his leftovers in a paper plate), I won't tell her off for sneaking into the kitchen. When we are completely finished with dinner, the dog is allowed into the kitchen again. Grandpa will normally have a paper plate with scraps (okay) or almost a whole uneaten dinner (yay!). He will even put his foot on the edge of the paper plate so the dog won't scoot it across the kitchen as she eats. The dog loves Grandpa. One time when I was on a business trip, Grandpa felt bad that the rest of the family wasn't having sit-down meals. So he made macaroni and cheese for the dog. The dog really, really loves Grandpa. Great Instructable, and an even more beautiful dog. I suggest you get a kitchen table that's a little bit higher. I've never had a dog that was table height, and I'd be tempted to try and teach her to hold my glass on her head to get a treat. (I'm mean. I make the dog earn her goodies)

    OMG that was hilarious!!! Excellent instructable, excellent pictures, and your dog is BEAUTIFUL!!! You have perfectly describe their modus operandi LOL!

    Your dog is so cute! Especially with the snowflakes on his/her head! My dog actually doesn't beg that much, but maybe it's cause we've only ever given her scraps into her bowl. Waiting for something to fall is a completly different story however... slightly vulture like...

    very cute!and also I will have to try it!

    Wanna make this a collaberation? Right now it is based on one dog, then it could be more, and we can make this an iBle from both veiws. The dog and human?

    Ha my shiba begs like a..... well begger i guess. :P

    ill join, my border collie begs like crazy

    All right rocknrollskwurl. Just don't delete anything already on here.

    Mine was really all the same thing, except a guide by a dog, for dogs. Don't think i'd be able to add much.

    I was planning on doing it in the dog's perspecive, but while I was typing it turned into a human guide thing. *Shrug*

    When I saw that dog I immediately thought of how it would look wearing a top hat.

    1 reply

    You see that south park ep where craig (i think thats his name) and his friends make a video of Cute pictures of animals with a widescreen lens wearing hats? Lmao