For the dog version, go here:
If you want to join this collaboration to add some of your tips, ask me.
Step 1: The Basics
Table and Other.
Table mooching is the form of begging for scraps from the table. This includes lunch and dinner. Breakfast is normally not a problem intill bacon, eggs, and sausage is thrown in.
Other consists of anything off the table, such as a snack on the couch.
The two main mooching food groups are meats and cheeses.
The intensity of the mooch for each food group will vary for each dog. My dog's intensity level is peaked with cheese, followed by meat.
Step 2: The Six Steps of Table Mooching
Step 1: Sensing The Finish.
This might not be true for some dogs. My dog as grown to know she will get nothing at the start of the meal. She will patiently wait until the meal is near the end.
Step 2: The Approach.
The dog gets up and casually walks over to you, tail wagging. The dog will sit or lay down next to your chair, never taking it's eyes of your plate. In my dog's case, she will take a bow so score some "impressive" points.
Step three: Asking Politely.
Your dog will kindly ask for your food through a series of wimpers and "doggy talk": a series of rumbles and Arrooooroooa, eeeruuuuumph noises.
Step four: Physical Contact.
Your dog will begin to nudge you with it's head or paws repeatedly. If it is a small dog, it will jump into your lap. If it is large, like mine, it will rest it's head in your lap.
Step five: The Look
The last resort in any dog's arsinal. Almost impossible to resist, the eyes enlarge and become watery, the mouth closes and droops. This will garuntee some pity points.
Step six: The Discusted Flop.
When you dog doen't get it's way, it will let out a loud Ooooooomph! and flop to the ground. Completely discusted with your lack of pity, it will either remain where it is or move on to the next person.
Step 3: Resisting the Table Mooch
Steps one and two are easily ignored.
When step three happens, try to play a happy tune in your head and plug your ears.
Step four's main goal is for you to acknowlage it's presence through petting and eye contact. As soon as you look at it, step five begins.
You have to have stone cold willpower to resist this. Absolutely no sence of pity or helping others. Good luck. I shatter like glass.
Here is another option that I allways do:
At the end of dinner, put any remaining scraps onto a plate. Bring that plate to your dog's bowl, and dump the scraps into the bowl. After a while, your dog will learn to wait untill dinner is over, knowing that he/she will recieve the food in their bowl. Expect wagging tails and happy faces.
Step 4: The Three Steps of Other
Step one: Immedient Approach.
Your dog will not wait, It will immediantly jump to step 2.
Step two: Physical Contact With The Look.
Your dog will rest it's head on your lap and give you the look at the same time. Distract it by petting, while at the same time slide your food further away.
Step three: The Steal
As soon as you let your guard down in any way, your dog will make it's move. Faster then you can react, it will lunge forward and shove it's way past you. By the time you look down, it will be licking its chops.