NON-emergency eyewash by Crucio
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Abstract
I was in the office today, intently studying our new project management software, when out of nowhere something flew into my eye, causing sharp pain.  Rubbing only made it worse.  I grabbed a little mirror and to my surprise, it wasn't a knife in my eye.  I couldn't spot the culprit, so I knew I had to wash it out with water.  Though we have a professional eyewash, I wasn't going to use it for something this minor (haha) and embarrass myself in the hallway.

Disclaimer
I came up with this idea when I needed to wash a mildly-irritating piece of dirt out of my eye at work but didn't want to get my hair and clothes wet under the sink or use the eyewash strategically located for maximum embarrassment in the hallway.  Again, this was a minor irritant and a completely non-emergency situation.

If you have any means of flushing your eyes that make sense, use them instead of the instructions here!

Ideally, you will have a real eyewash station, such as the one pictured below.  If not, then a good second choice procedure might be tilting your head under a long-necked faucet such that the stream runs into your eyes.  Use approved methods.

Disclaimer: you are responsible for your choices and actions.
 
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Step 1: Find a large-mouth bottle

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Any clean bottle, whether plastic or glass can be used, so long as the mouth can fit completely over your eye.  I had a couple of Fuse juice bottles (plastic on the left, glass on the right) that both fit perfectly over my eye.

For scale, see the glass bottle's cap alongside a ruler, a US quarter, and a 2-Euro coin.

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