Step 3: Salmonella
One home remedy for salmonella is drinking lots of tea. That must be why I've never gotten sick from this method of making ice tea over the last decade. Usual disclaimers.
If you do wind up in hospital, you can take all the Red Rose figurines you've collected with you to play with while you recover.
And since Red Rose periodically changes the figurines, you can look on the box and tell if the grocer is trying to fob old stock on you.