This boat is perfect to get from your house to high ground when the flood hits.
This truly is the fastest boat in the world. To build that is.
You can even use it for a mattress while waiting for the disaster to hit!
Next time you're driving to the beach and you see a mattress and some paint cans dumped by the side of the road, you know what to do!
Step 1: Mattress
It's badly weathered and has big holes in the sides.
It's almost a boat already!
Step 2: Paint
If you plan to continue using your boat for a mattress, latex paint will breathe more than the others and be a nicer sleeping surface.
If you're just in a hurry to float, consider paint, tar, varnish, linseed oil, crisco, lard, butter, heavy grease, wax, etc
There is something very wrong with the labeling on this paint can.
See all the words on this paint can? Notice that "PAINT" isn't one of them?
What the hell is all the rest of that gibberish there for? Deep Base? Is it full of CDs of dance music?
How many years of schooling and experience did the label design committee, marketing team, etc have? I'd guess thousands.
Humanity are the world's craziest people.
No wonder so many of them live below sea level in hurricane country in carefully planned disaster traps.
But it's not just OTHER PEOPLE who are insane. You dear reader, active citizen in the "world's greatest democracy", are part a giant insane committee.
It is YOUR dumb engineering megaprojects that channel the rivers and make barrier islands wash away. It is YOUR taxes that pay for it.
Step 3: Transport to the Workplace
This mattress has a nonwoven olefin scrim on the bottom which I pulled off.