Wait, let me rephrase that in a way that's less likely to incriminate you should a law enforcement official read your response.
Do you share some entirely non-criminal inconveniences in your life that could be solved by having a hideously ugly backpack?
Do you want to look like a hobo, but think bindles are "Uppity"?
Do you treat your backpacks in a manner that causes them to deteriorate into uselessness in a fraction of the time they would for any reasonable person?
Do you occasionally wish to appear as if you had absolutely nothing worth stealing?
Me too, friend. Me too.
To that end, I have modified a design originally found in my Boy Scout Handbook for a temporary pack and made it permanent. Your Pantspack will be cheap, durable, and bordering on the practical!
Let's see if we can't start a ludicrous fad.
Step 1: Materials
1 pair of extremely homely jeans
Needle and thread
1 Crown Royal pouch
1 profoundly ratty piece of rope
The uniquely utilitarian handyman05 suggested using waxed dental floss as an alternative to button/carpet thread. What a great idea!
Step 2: Setting Up
This will provide for a stronger hold...I would assume. These looped pantlegs form the straps of your pantspack.
Step 3: Sew
You're going to stitch through the pocket, the pantleg and the inside of the pocket here--that's four layers of canvas. A thimble may be in order. Not having one handy, I used the handle of my toothbrush.
Step 4: Adding the Electronics Pouch
Why not a Crown Royal bag?
It's the work of a moment to stitch it onto the inside of the waistband.
Step 5: The Flap
Step 6: The Drawstring
Had I been possessed of the forethought, I would've gotten another pair and cut them up for a flap to sew inside so that my clothes don't poke out the top when I close it up.
Step 7: Congratulations!
If you can, use a larger size of jeans. While my computer, camera and a couple of changes of clothes fit in here fairly easily, it's a close thing. I might expand it with a burlap sack if I can find one easily, for added capacity.
You can probably sew the cuffs to the front side of the pants if you wish, leaving the back pockets free. It's your choice.
*Disclaimer: Not at all stylish.