So please, do vote for me!
When starting this project, I had several criteria I wanted to hit, and after three other prototypes, this one succeeds.
1) 100% paracord
2) Symmetrical and aesthetically pleasing
3) Successfully holds the darn laptop where it's supposed to be!
4) Is easy to remove the laptop from and easy to put it back in
(Auxillary benefit was that it also happened to leave my stickers visible, because they're awesome.)
Step 1: Materials Needed
Scissors are for cutting paracord.
Lighter is for burning the ends (do be careful)
Gaffer's Tape is optional, but I find it useful and it leaves no residue on either the paracord or the laptop. If you don't have gaffer's tape, any sort of tape will do.
Step 2: Prep
Not pictured is another pair of strands about 6' long each for the handles. Set those aside as you won't need them for a while.
I recommend burning the ends to prevent fraying while you're working.
Step 3: Pair 'em off and round 'em up!
While you're here, break off a few pieces of tape and have them handy nearby on the edge of a table or something.