So please, do vote for me!
When starting this project, I had several criteria I wanted to hit, and after three other prototypes, this one succeeds.
1) 100% paracord
2) Symmetrical and aesthetically pleasing
3) Successfully holds the darn laptop where it's supposed to be!
4) Is easy to remove the laptop from and easy to put it back in
(Auxillary benefit was that it also happened to leave my stickers visible, because they're awesome.)
Step 1: Materials Needed
Scissors are for cutting paracord.
Lighter is for burning the ends (do be careful)
Gaffer's Tape is optional, but I find it useful and it leaves no residue on either the paracord or the laptop. If you don't have gaffer's tape, any sort of tape will do.
Step 2: Prep
Not pictured is another pair of strands about 6' long each for the handles. Set those aside as you won't need them for a while.
I recommend burning the ends to prevent fraying while you're working.
Step 3: Pair 'em off and round 'em up!
While you're here, break off a few pieces of tape and have them handy nearby on the edge of a table or something.
Step 4: Set up your handles
Step 5: Cross Knotting
Instructions for a cross knot can be found online, though I walk through them in picture form here. Apologies for slight blurriness.
While you're at it, get used to the cross knot. You'll be doing plenty of them. For now, however, just do this with all 4 pairs of your working strands. Make sure you keep them facing front if aesthetics are important to you.
Step 6: Setting up the sides
If you don't feel like doing it, you can just loop the strands around each other.
Once you're done with that, put a cross knot on each pair of strands. Do this to both sides of the harness. Symmetry is your friend, as is even spacing.
Step 7: More Cross Knots!
Step 8: Over and Under
The second picture just gives the general shape of what it's going to end up as.
Step 9: The last set of cross knots, I swear
Step 10: Cobra Stitch
Once you loop them over, start a cobra stitch down where you just came from and go until you like the length. Do this to both sides.
Before your cobra stitch gets too far, make sure you pull the strands taut until you're tugging at the handle-tape a bit. This will keep the laptop much snugger in the harness and keep it safe.
Step 11: Trim and Burn!
And I shouldn't need to remind you that fire is dangerous as is molten paracord. Don't get either on you.
Step 12: Handles!
When your handles are as long as you'd like it to be, trim and burn the ends.