So please, do vote for me!
When starting this project, I had several criteria I wanted to hit, and after three other prototypes, this one succeeds.
1) 100% paracord
2) Symmetrical and aesthetically pleasing
3) Successfully holds the darn laptop where it's supposed to be!
4) Is easy to remove the laptop from and easy to put it back in
(Auxillary benefit was that it also happened to leave my stickers visible, because they're awesome.)
Step 1: Materials Needed
Scissors are for cutting paracord.
Lighter is for burning the ends (do be careful)
Gaffer's Tape is optional, but I find it useful and it leaves no residue on either the paracord or the laptop. If you don't have gaffer's tape, any sort of tape will do.