Introduction: Perfect, Crispy Bacon, Easy, Every Time!

In this Awesome Instructable, I will show you how to make perfect, crispy bacon, every time, with less the mess and work.

Step 1: Place Your Pork

Step 1 is simple. Place your swine on to 1 or 2 cookie sheets depending on the amount of bacon and this size of your cookie sheets. Then put that silly pork in the oven which has been preheated to 350 degrees of bacon loving heat.

The ladys have been to my house and have said that my cookie sheet is huge. True story.

Step 2: Watch Your Pork Closley

Pay attention to your pork as it will need flipped once or maybe twice. If you do not watch it and wait to long, it may burn or stick to the cookie sheet. I suggest flipping it every 5-7 minutes until it's done, usually about 20-25 total oven time, or if you live under my roof, that's 20-25 minutes of pure awesome, (that is how time is measured around me, in units of awesome).

Step 3: Romove That Sweet Pig and Stuff Your Fat Yapper.

That's right, your pig is done and it's time to chow down. Now if you like your pig and like to eat your pig, you have made your eggs, potatoes, toast, and pancakes while your bacon cooked and it's time to dig in. Place your bacon on some paper towels or napkins to drain the grease off. If your a "green" person, you can place it in a strainer instead of wasting the paper products, and then you can tell all of your friends how cool you are, they may even adopt a nickname for you like, "awesome possum" or "Joe Freakin Cool".
Personally, I like to place this tastey bacon on a peice of wheat toast, lightly buttered, WITH REAL BUTTER, no pvc here, and a fresh slice of tomato from my sweet, sweet garden. I then follow it up with a glass of pinapple juice and I give the wife a little smack on the beezer as I exit the kitchen.
Disgard the grease from your cookie sheets and place them in your dishwasher. Now you are done. Congratulations. I hope you all watched your step as I dropped knowledge all over the place.
Now, go in peace.

Step 4: Watch Yourself When You Comment on This Instructable

I know there are grammatical errors, spelling errors, and maybe something you don't agree with. Guess who doesn't care? This Guy. So don't bother mentioning those mistakes, I KNOW they are there. Also, I would love to hear everything else, the good, the bad, and like your Mom, the ugly.

Comments

author
inselmo made it! (author)2016-10-18

But I must retort.

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egladwell made it! (author)2014-09-17

I love the way this is written, who knew cooking bacon could make you so awesome. I think I will adopt the nickname awesome possum.

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Russ.R made it! (author)2011-09-23

Line cookie pan/sheet first with non stick cooking 'Parchment Paper' for oven cooking...you will never have a sticking problem & pan will always clean up easily once grease is poured off!!

author
=SMART= made it! (author)2008-06-16

ewwww that bacon is 99% fat thats horrible! in england our bacon is 90% meat and you can buy trimmed bacon which has virtually no fat on it at all, look at the picture below, thats how it should be, its very tasty and ALOT healthier than those fat strips eaten in america Kiteman will back me up on this :D

back%20bacon.jpg
author
janettetsmith made it! (author)janettetsmith2010-09-07


You English ... still so competitive after all this time.  The 'bacon' you eat is called 'ham' in this country, although not because it is actual ham.  Furthermore, presuming your 'bacon' is still pork, albeit lower in saturated fat, it is not as you say 'ALOT' (must be an English word) healthier because they both are still high in saturated fat.


author
kingfinny made it! (author)kingfinny2011-01-05

Well...saturated fat is not anywhere near as unhealthy as 'a lot' of people tend to believe it is. In balanced amounts (relative to other fats, mono- and poly-unsaturated) it's an important nutrient. What you have to watch out for are the TRANSfats, which are a manufactured product and genuinely unhealthy.

author
shmacky26 made it! (author)shmacky262008-06-17

Don't get me started on England, politicians wearing womens wigs, security gaurds that don't move, (that's effective), kings, queens, and knights??? WTF? You people are like a walking deck of cards. Don't bring your bacon talk here GOVNA! PS, If you refer to American bacon as crap once more, I may have to bring up WWII, and trust me, you don't want that...

author
stockweasel2001 made it! (author)stockweasel20012008-08-23

For a start, our politicians don't wear wigs, it's our judges who do that (bunch of skirt wearing cross-dressers too). Our security guards may not move (at least the royal guard's) but the reason they wear such tall hats is to hide the mini mp5's and p90's under them. We haven't had a King for 60 years, and what's wrong with being a knight? Knights are cool. As for WWII, At least we fought from begining to end and didn't just jump in halfway through (or quit after 5 minutes like the cheese-eating surrender-monkeys). And your bacon is crap, nothing beats oak-smoked wiltshire-cured, gloucester old spot back bacon.

author
Subvert made it! (author)Subvert2009-08-25

I have to admit, this back bacon with all the other words in front of it sounds pretty damn good to this american. Can you believe that we bred our pigs to be lean?! You can't even get pork in america in most places that are like you could 30 years ago.

author
shmacky26 made it! (author)shmacky262008-08-25

Knights are not cool. Sword fighting went out with candlelight. Do you know who is a knight? I'll tell you, Elton John. That's right, you knight fruit loops. If Elton John is a knight then you may now consider me Robo Cop. I kind of like the spin on that anyway.

author
emuman4evr made it! (author)emuman4evr2008-06-17

Haha your comment just made my day!

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jaysbob made it! (author)jaysbob2008-06-16

we have that style here, its just called Canadian bacon.

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=SMART= made it! (author)=SMART=2008-06-16

great ! i think it tastes bette anyway, you cant make a bacon sandwich with super thin crap bacon!

author
andyhuntdesigns made it! (author)andyhuntdesigns2008-06-17

Yes. Yes you can. "Canadian" bacon is a salty mess that I would never allow to grace my BLT.

author
=SMART= made it! (author)=SMART=2008-06-17

what?? how can meat be salty unless you add salt? i dont add any salt and i'd rather have a meat filled BLT than a BLT with just strips of fat

author
shmacky26 made it! (author)shmacky262008-06-18

How do you think it's cured? With Pixie dust?

author
andyhuntdesigns made it! (author)andyhuntdesigns2008-06-18

DING DING DING We have a winner!

author
=SMART= made it! (author)=SMART=2008-06-18

yea me, because anyone who eats fat strips like that will die 10 years younger

author
andyhuntdesigns made it! (author)andyhuntdesigns2008-06-18

This my friend is a bacon sandwich.

bacon5.jpg
author
shmacky26 made it! (author)shmacky262008-06-19

NO that'a not, that an unhealthy pile of dungarooski. Throw that on wheat bread, take about 2/3 of that bacon off, add a fresh tomato or somekind of veggie and some light mayo, now that's a samich. Whatcha got there buddy is a pile of meat on white bread. More fat, less meat. Flat=Flavor, which is what makes Delmonico steaks the tastiest.
Now get outta here with your bacon pile. Silly dogboy.

author
andyhuntdesigns made it! (author)andyhuntdesigns2008-06-19

Bark.

author
=SMART= made it! (author)=SMART=2008-06-18

That bacon is completely different to the bacon shmacky26 used in this 'ible
that actually has visible meat, i can see the meat. that looks tasty - shmacky26's green/yellow fat strips are poor quality and meat-less

author
hedgiehog made it! (author)hedgiehog2008-06-17

yet bacon is very high in fat, but thats what makes it taste good, ever notice that french fries are only good when fried, not baked, thats cuz the fat makes them taste extra good, same goes for bacon, just eat it in moderation and get lots of exersise, if a little fat like that is a problem then u need to be more active lol

author
shmacky26 made it! (author)shmacky262008-06-18

You are absolutely correct Sonic. Pay no attention to our Atlantic Neighbors. Let's just thank them for the Beatles, that's really the only thing they've been good for.

author
hedgiehog made it! (author)hedgiehog2008-06-18

lol sonic, yeh they dont know bacon, they only have one kind! mmm back bacon (aka canadian bacon) personally i only like the beatles because they inspired lots of other music.

author
I Am An Evil Taco made it! (author)I Am An Evil Taco2008-06-17

You brits have bacon like ours too. It's called back bacon. I envy places of the world that have more than just the 3 varieties we can find in america. The brits have upward of 10, if I'm not mistaken. Besides, real men buy whole pork bellies and make the bacon themselves. (I'm working on an instructible for that.)

author
man ray made it! (author)2009-07-13

eew it doesn't look right

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shmacky26 made it! (author)shmacky262009-08-14

You don't want me to retort Man Ray. When you speak ill of bacon, you speak ill of me. Tread lightly son.

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man ray made it! (author)man ray2009-10-10

wow wow wow man calm down......  but it still look gross

author
xana made it! (author)xana2010-05-13

its the lighting of the photo

author
red-king made it! (author)red-king2009-10-22

 something wrong with you boy...

author
Capt. Kidd made it! (author)2009-09-04

just what the world needs...

c399_tactical_canned_bacon.jpg
author
adlabens made it! (author)2008-09-14

I worked at a major hotel & we did it a similar way - only we cooked many pounds of bacon at a time (sometimes catering for 300+). The difference was that we used cookie cooling racks inside the pans after we lined them with foil. I do this at home, now. Cleanup consists of throwing the sheet-pan liner (the foil) in the trash, and tossing the rack in the dishwasher where it takes virtually no room (because it doesn't block the spray). And, we don't even have to wipe the sheet pan. Plus, there's no turning since it's got hot air circulating on both top & bottom of each slice, and it doesn't cook in it's own fat so there's even less (virtually none) draining/blotting the fat from the cooked slices. I cook mine at 400 degrees & it takes about 10-15 minutes (in a pre-heated oven, depending on thermostat accuracy) to cook it to the perfect desired degree of doneness, and no turning, blotting, or other time wasting activities. When I do this, I usually cook a couple of pounds of bacon , and use some of the extra in a cheese spread I make (cream cheese, xtra sharp smokey cheddar, green onions & chopped serranos). We LOVE bacon, and this is the most efficient use of our time. You, your awesomeness, on the other hand, may prefer to cook the bacon in it's own grease & spend the time necessary to turn each slice a couple of times, blot the bacon with paper towels, and stuff a whole sheet pan into the dishwasher (taking up space that would otherwise clean several other dishes).

author
Subvert made it! (author)Subvert2009-08-25

I'm glad someone mentioned the cooling rack alternative. The other advantage of the sheet pan method is harvesting the bacon grease for later. Just pour it in a jar and use it for other good things! (You don't even really have to refrigerate it either, but I do).

author
Subvert made it! (author)Subvert2009-08-25

Oh, and I forgot to mention... The cooling rack method doesn't really decrease the lovely fat still in the bacon. Your cooking time determines that. It just eliminates the flip, and I think makes the bacon a bit more uniform.

author
shmacky26 made it! (author)shmacky262008-09-17

You are well versed in restaurant bacon. But I must retort. I don't blot the bacon, I strain it and then recycle the fat in a composter, also, My high capacity, eco friendly energy efficient dishwasher doesn't have any space issues. We could cook bacon all day long doing naked bacon dances and still not use anymore soap or water than we would anyway. Also, I like the sound of that, your awesomeness. You should continue to refer to me as that. Infact, everyone should. That is of course that someone doesn't declare shananigans, then, by rule, a Do Over is in order. Now, ... Your It! No Givesees!

author
adlabens made it! (author)adlabens2008-09-18

The compost will benefit greatly from an absence of meant & meat bi-products. The little critters that take the vegetable stuff and turn it into fertile dirt do not fare so well from meats and/or meat bi-products. In fact, there is much debate about even using eggshells in the composter (or compost bins, piles, etc.) because of the high protein count in the egg that remains in the shell when it's discarded to the compost bin - even tho it's generally accepted that the calcium in the egg shell is quite beneficial to the dirt being created. Plus, the meat & meat bi-products tend to attract unwanted varieties of bugs that actually detract from the fertility of the dirt being created. In fact, finding an alternate method of discarding such meat bi-products as bacon fat will greatly improve the potency of your resulting compost.

author
shmacky26 made it! (author)shmacky262008-09-18

Also, If your trying to add calcium to your tomatoe plants, skip the egg shells and try some epsom salt, it invites vigorous plant growth as well.

author
shmacky26 made it! (author)shmacky262008-09-18

You are correct Osama Adlabens. Had I known this would turn into a composting discussion, I would have noted that it doesn't go into my vegetable garden compost bin, but a secondary pile that is for just such products and oils that are not beneficial for rich compost. I don't like to discard things to the garbage company that I can discard myself. My guess is that racoons probably come up at night and eat it as well. It's in the woods so I care not, in fact, I hope they have a party.

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Gloom made it! (author)2009-08-23

i like how this guy thinks.

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Saida33 made it! (author)2009-08-23

A year later and I still follow your rules on perfect swine. This (chew) BLT is so delciousoddsaddfgeurwaer.

author
St Animal Army made it! (author)2009-06-29

I want to see the clock that measures time in units of awesome, that would be AWESOME!

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shmacky26 made it! (author)shmacky262009-08-14

I will post that soon...

author
perryperth made it! (author)2008-12-14

Bacon - just right for so many occasions. Thanks for this. Perfect bacon indeed... and easy... and amusing. Peace, - Pablo

author
patmac made it! (author)2008-11-18

I have never cooked bacon this way but I was having 15 people for brunch so I tried it. I made the bacon the day before, put it in the fridge and stuck it in the oven to warm before eating. I worked great! I even got a thank you card and a chocolate covered bacon bar because it was so tasty. Easy too! Thanks.

author
shmacky26 made it! (author)shmacky262008-11-20

Ahhh bacon parties. I remember my younger days when we had bacon block parties. I'm glad it worked and I would even venture further to predict that your party, was truly, AWESOME.

author
Twlight made it! (author)2008-09-15

An even faster more crispy way to have your bacon, is to deep fry it (takes 5 minutes at the most). But thats not for recreational use bacon, Its for full on jonesin bacon. Its what a lot of restaurants do for bacon bits, or if your ticket is late. Otherwise the oven is the supreme bacon cooking device.

author
compwalla made it! (author)2008-06-16

I make bacon in the oven but I lay the bacon out on cooling racks and set the cooling racks inside the cookie sheets. That way a lot of the bacon fat renders off and the bacon is less greasy. And you can save the rendered fat to flavor other dishes.

author
shmacky26 made it! (author)shmacky262008-06-16

A few people have mentioned that, but I refuse to try it. I have no plausable reason not too, but when I really really think about it, I just don't care.

author
Cotb made it! (author)Cotb2008-07-24

How about if we remove the "less greasy" argument and point out that when you use the cooling rack in the cookie sheet the bacon cooks on both sides without the need to flip. You could be better using the time you spend flipping bacon by letting others bask in your awesome.

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