Introduction: Perfect, Crispy Bacon, Easy, Every Time!

By www.noneofyourdamnbusiness.com
About: See website.

In this Awesome Instructable, I will show you how to make perfect, crispy bacon, every time, with less the mess and work.

Step 1: Place Your Pork

Step 1 is simple. Place your swine on to 1 or 2 cookie sheets depending on the amount of bacon and this size of your cookie sheets. Then put that silly pork in the oven which has been preheated to 350 degrees of bacon loving heat.

The ladys have been to my house and have said that my cookie sheet is huge. True story.

Step 2: Watch Your Pork Closley

Pay attention to your pork as it will need flipped once or maybe twice. If you do not watch it and wait to long, it may burn or stick to the cookie sheet. I suggest flipping it every 5-7 minutes until it's done, usually about 20-25 total oven time, or if you live under my roof, that's 20-25 minutes of pure awesome, (that is how time is measured around me, in units of awesome).

Step 3: Romove That Sweet Pig and Stuff Your Fat Yapper.

That's right, your pig is done and it's time to chow down. Now if you like your pig and like to eat your pig, you have made your eggs, potatoes, toast, and pancakes while your bacon cooked and it's time to dig in. Place your bacon on some paper towels or napkins to drain the grease off. If your a "green" person, you can place it in a strainer instead of wasting the paper products, and then you can tell all of your friends how cool you are, they may even adopt a nickname for you like, "awesome possum" or "Joe Freakin Cool".
Personally, I like to place this tastey bacon on a peice of wheat toast, lightly buttered, WITH REAL BUTTER, no pvc here, and a fresh slice of tomato from my sweet, sweet garden. I then follow it up with a glass of pinapple juice and I give the wife a little smack on the beezer as I exit the kitchen.
Disgard the grease from your cookie sheets and place them in your dishwasher. Now you are done. Congratulations. I hope you all watched your step as I dropped knowledge all over the place.
Now, go in peace.

Step 4: Watch Yourself When You Comment on This Instructable

I know there are grammatical errors, spelling errors, and maybe something you don't agree with. Guess who doesn't care? This Guy. So don't bother mentioning those mistakes, I KNOW they are there. Also, I would love to hear everything else, the good, the bad, and like your Mom, the ugly.