Perfect, Crispy Bacon, Easy, Every Time!

Step 3 Romove that sweet pig and stuff your fat yapper.

That's right, your pig is done and it's time to chow down. Now if you like your pig and like to eat your pig, you have made your eggs, potatoes, toast, and pancakes while your bacon cooked and it's time to dig in. Place your bacon on some paper towels or napkins to drain the grease off. If your a "green" person, you can place it in a strainer instead of wasting the paper products, and then you can tell all of your friends how cool you are, they may even adopt a nickname for you like, "awesome possum" or "Joe Freakin Cool".
Personally, I like to place this tastey bacon on a peice of wheat toast, lightly buttered, WITH REAL BUTTER, no pvc here, and a fresh slice of tomato from my sweet, sweet garden. I then follow it up with a glass of pinapple juice and I give the wife a little smack on the beezer as I exit the kitchen.
Disgard the grease from your cookie sheets and place them in your dishwasher. Now you are done. Congratulations. I hope you all watched your step as I dropped knowledge all over the place.
Now, go in peace.

Comments

[Russ.R]

Line cookie pan/sheet first with non stick cooking 'Parchment Paper' for oven cooking...you will never have a sticking problem & pan will always clean up easily once grease is poured off!!

[St Animal Army]

I want to see the clock that measures time in units of awesome, that would be AWESOME!

[shmacky26]

I will post that soon...

[swedeheart]

Shmacky, love.your.humor. Very enjoyable instructable. Thanks! :)

[shmacky26]

Thank you SwedePie. You are far too kind...I would love to chat, but underneath these normal clothes I am about to rip off, I have a Superman like suit that I'm about to disclose to the public which has an A instead of an S on it. Do you know what that A stands for??? Oh who am I kidding, we all know!

[pinkcamo]

I'll try this recipe, but have you ever tried to cook bacon in the microwave in between sheets of paper towels? (4-5 underneath, 1 sheet on top). A lot less dishes or pan washing (using a paper plate) and "light", crispy as you want, and less oily. Just a suggestion in case you haven't tried this. :)

[shmacky26]

I hope you know I'm just joking, (probably not), but please remember this, if you are kind to bacon, bacon will be kind to you. Now go and spread the word. Good Day Madam, (sorry about the sir)(not really)

[pinkcamo]

I don't lay the bacon right on the microwave surface ya goof. I said I put it on a PAPER plate, and I don't wash paper plates. No, you don't need to try this method at all-ever, your method is so perfect for you. No one can possibly have a better plan than yours because its your life and you are ... 31 now. You're also so green that you probably only use your computer 18 minutes per day so as to not leak dangerous emissions into the atmosphere. Good for you for helping to save the environment, and good for you for being true to yourself. Enjoy your life, this conversation is over. I mean this in the nicest way!! :)

[shmacky26]

Pinkerton, You are very kind in your words, but unfortunately, your bacon methods are very 1980, I'm guessing your wardrobe is also, but that's a different story that starts with me being awesome, and well, ends with me being awesome. By the way, I ALWAYS get the last word. Stubborness is a son of Awesome.

[Jonny Katana]

Something tells me you're a big fan of Maddox...

[shmacky26]

Did you say Microwave? I am flabbergasted that you would do that to bacon. How dare you. I have neither the time nor the inclanation to entertain the thought of all the work that goes into raising a pig and the process, work, and shipping that goes into making bacon for some heartless SOB to just put it in the microwave and blast that sweet, sweet swine with radiation. This conversation is over. Good day sir.

[pinkcamo]

Schmackkkkkkyyyyy... try the microwave, then come talk to me. Better, cleaner, crispy-light (you'll know when you try it), and less greasy! Oh... and one important thing... less cooking time. 5-7 minutes approximately for 12-15 slices, as oppose to ugggh TWENTY-FIVE MINUTES and washing pans!

[shmacky26]

Ahhhh my dear, I do not need to try, I did this when I was 10, I am now 31 years of awesome age. And washing pans? What do you put it directly on the microwave surface? We are both washing my friend, the only difference is that I am cooking with 99.9% clean natural gas and then putting my pans in my eco friendly efficient dishwasher. I appreciate your thoughts stinky pinky, (not really),(I know you love it when I do that), but exnay on icrowavemay inkpay.

[daviddd]

Looks good. Next time we have bacon, i'll give it a try (:

[shmacky26]

Good luck to you Stuttering David, Enjoy your adventures in bacon. They only get better...