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I've wanted to make this ever since I first saw the Cake contest. Honestly, I'm surprised no-one has made one, save the Rick Roll cake, which is a lie. So at the urging of the voices in my head, my GLaBox360, and siblings, I made the cake. I'll admit, this project had a steep learning curve. Could it have turned out better? Of course, but it was delicious(and moist) nonetheless. So enough babbling, let's make some cake already!
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Signing UpStep 1Gather materials
Best not to constantly raid the cupboard, Just get what you want now. The nice thing about the portal cake is that you can't be too sure what the hack what is. Are those red things cherries, rhubarb, or high explosive? You never can tell. However, what I used:
-Cake Mix (One box, plus whatever it says you need)
-Chocolate (I used chips, you could use shavings, squares, whatever)
-Frosting (White, for sure)
-Maraschino Cherries
Equipment wise, you'll want:
-Two 9-inch pans (Nonstick, preferably)
-Wax paper
-Pam (For if you don't have Teflon pans. Trust me, you'll need this)
-A Mixing bowl
-A mixer (Someone to mix for you, the electric kind, or both. It's up to you)
-An oven
-Cake stand
-Cake Mix (One box, plus whatever it says you need)
-Chocolate (I used chips, you could use shavings, squares, whatever)
-Frosting (White, for sure)
-Maraschino Cherries
Equipment wise, you'll want:
-Two 9-inch pans (Nonstick, preferably)
-Wax paper
-Pam (For if you don't have Teflon pans. Trust me, you'll need this)
-A Mixing bowl
-A mixer (Someone to mix for you, the electric kind, or both. It's up to you)
-An oven
-Cake stand
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I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
Aperture Science:
We do what we must because we can.
For the good of all of us
Except the ones who are dead.
(Chorus 1)
But there's no sense crying over every mistake
You just keep on trying till you run out of cake
And the science gets done and you make a neat gun
For the people who are still alive.
I'm not even angry.
I'm being so sincere right now.
Even though you broke my heart and killed me.
And tore me to pieces.
And threw every piece into a fire.
As they burned it hurt because
I was so happy for you.
(Chorus 2)
Now these points of data make a beautiful line
And we're out of beta we're releasing on time.
So I'm GLaD I got burned think of all the things we learned
For the people who are still alive.
Go ahead and leave me.
I think I prefer to stay inside.
Maybe you'll find someone else to help you.
Maybe Black Mesa -
THAT WAS A JOKE. HA HA, FAT CHANCE.
Anyway, this cake is great:
It's so delicious and moist.
(Chorus 3)
Look at me still talking when there's science to do.
When I look out there it makes me GLaD I'm not you.
I've experiments to run there is research to be done
On the people who are still alive
And believe me I am still alive.
I'm doing science and I'm still alive.
I feel FANTASTIC and I'm still alive.
While you're dying I'll be still alive.
And when you're dead I will be still alive.
Still alive
Still alive
"Chell is promised cake and grief counseling as her reward for completing all the test chambers."
"The final scene, after a long and speedy zoom through the bowels of the facility, shows a mix of shelves surrounding a chocolate cake and the Weighted Companion Cube."
Actually...there was one, certainly not a lie either. :]
But I don't mind at all, that was back in November of last year, so I'm barred from submitting it. I'm glad someone managed to drum up the effort to enter an another incarnation of the Portal Cake!